In laws mean to my baby how to react

[XReb31x]

Some people might think I'm over reacting, maybe I am but it's really bothering me. I have a 9 months old little boy, he was born in lockdown and due to covid situation he hasn't seen much of my husband's family. Since lockdown ended we have tried taking him to see them whenever we can (they don't bother coming round at all even when invited) so the baby feels a bit shy around them and tends to cry when he first sees them. He doesn't cry much but needs time to adjust to the sorrunding and then he gives them smiles and let's them pick him up too.

My husband's family however make a big fuss out of this and constantly comments that I feel very uncomfortable with. Such as our son is a very "spoiled" baby and they say this in a negative way if he refuses to let them pick him up starighy away and when me or my husband are trying soothe him. They also constantly compare him to any other babies in the room saying things like "look he or she dont act like you, why are u so spoiled" , " fine won't bother with u will just pick this baby", "Hey what's wrong with u why don't u like us" and they imitate his crying and just keep on him. I tend to ignore and not take it to heart but I feel unhappy inside as he's just a baby and like I mentioned he doesn't constantly cry just needs time to get used to them. Also every baby/child is different, shouldn't need to act a certain way how people expect them to. I don't like the pressure or having to constantly explain that he's tired or there's new people around.

As it keep happening and on Christmas in a room full of people, one of my husband's family member continuously made same remarks about our baby infront of people who hadn't seen him before. And everyone kept laughing. I feel quite upset that I should have and didn't say anything. I feel like I need to stand up for my son and say something to these people when they are being mean or comparing him to other kids.

I wonder what other people would do in similar situation. Am I over thinking is it something to ignore or how to respond to such people so its not a full of confrontation but enough to make them realize.

You have a partner problem. He should be sticking up for you and baby.

His parents sound vile. Who could be that stupid and lacking in self awareness?! I'd go very LC with them all.

My DD is similar, she needs time to warm up to a situation and then she’s off. We also have family that don’t respect her boundaries or rebuke her for not responding as they expected. Nip it in the bud now OP, my DD is nearly 5 and understands a lot more so I have to advocate for her more forcefully as I don’t want her upset. My DH would let it go to keep the peace with his family but is realising that it isn’t fair on DD.

If she isn’t in the mood for the weekly video call, I’d rather say she isn’t up to it right now and call later when she is feeling more chatty. I don’t want them to go on about why she isn’t speaking to them, doesn’t she like them anymore etc and make her feel bad and more wound up that she isn’t being listened to that she doesn’t want to do the call at that moment.

My granddaughter is like this with people she doesn't know or see often Your son will grow out of his wariness. I would just say he likes to watch people. It would also prime your husband to make some comment like he doesn't see much of you so needs time to get used to you.Nothing wrong with a child being shy or sensitive and quite normal in babies.

Wow. I would not tolerate this or be in a room with these people - 100% not. I would go full angry mama bear on them and give it both barrels. Your son is normal - they are not

They are being rude. Feel free to be rude back.

Perhaps try ‘he’s an excellent judge of character’, it would appear to be a truthful statement.