Buying make up for 4 year old

[hoomama]

Is it really that bad to buy make up for a 4 year old? Just the little kid sets that have "lip gloss" in them but it's just a coloured lip balm that doesn't actually show any colour and some eyeshadows.

I was going to buy my Daughter a set as she likes to put my make up on when dressing up at home and she asked for one.

MIL then asked what she could buy for Daughter for Xmas. I sent her pics of all of the things I was thinking of getting for her and she chose a few items to buy. One of them was the make up set. Come Xmas and there wasn't a make up set in the presents off her. I thought maybe she'd just forgotten.

Turns out my Mum had bought her one. When I saw MIL in the evening, my Daughter got her make up kit out to show her and she looked horrified but she tried to style it out as best she could.

Is it really that bad to buy her a make up set?? I wasn't going to cover her in make up and take her shopping or anything! It is just for the house and when she dresses up etc. she's very girly and loves stuff like that.

@oviraptor21

Would you get make up for a boy? If no, then there is your answer as to why it's a terrible idea.

If he was in to it, sure I would because at this sort of age I see it as creative fun not trying to improve their looks or fit into what society says they should be doing.

I’d be lying if I said I’d be comfortable with my teenage son rocking a full face, but I’d not stop him as they’re my perhaps outdated views and issues. Similarly if my teenage daughter needed a full face on to go out I’d feel uncomfortable with that too, because she’s naturally beautiful and I don’t want her to be pressurised to look a certain way.

But at 4, I’ve no problem with either of mine playing make up face painting. Apart from the bloody mess, that I’ve got a problem with.

I have a 4 year old. I would loathe her playing with make-up or nail polish but I don't wear any myself so I am aware I am massively biased by that.

[quote hoomama]@APerfectSky I don't think that it is sending any message to her - she just likes to dress up. In the same way that she likes to put face paint on? I don't push her to put make up on & I very rarely put full make up on myself so it's not like I'm saying she has to wear make up to be beautiful or anything. [/quote]
Then buy her a face painting kit? I bought our 6 year old son a 24 paint face paint kit and it’s come in use for every single blasted school occasion like world book day and pirate day and what not.

No? Face paint kit won’t do? So then make-up is “different”?

How?

If you articulate the “how” I think you’ll see some of the reasons why people think it unnecessary for a 4 year old

I just want to say that my parents never gave me makeup and while they didn't ban it, my mum didn't wear makeup and being vain was discouraged in my family. I discovered makeup at 21 and now I don't leave the house without it. I have good skin too.

I now think we are all different, some girls would love makeup regardless of whether parents encourage or discourage it.

It's fine! My son used to play with my makeup and ask me to paint his nails. They want to be like us

@Onatree sometimes they want full tiger face paint.
Sometimes they want a bit of glitter & lip balm and feeling like they are doing make up “like mummy”
Just like sometimes their play is dressing up as dinosaurs and astronauts and sometimes they want to wash up and hoover.

Absolutely nothing wrong with it. Children especially little girls love playing with make up. Better them having their own than messing with your makeup. Now if you were encouraging her to put her slap on before leaving the house, that would be a problem.

@Haudyourwheesht

Who are these parents trying to control and direct their kids

Is that not what were meant to do?

Of course we should direct our children towards positive actions but we shouldn't control and decide what they play with because that's interfering with who they are for our own comfort.

@LeadMeHome

I'm not really into make up although I'll wear a bit to look presentable for work but DD (5) loves the stuff! I tell her she doesn't need it and she's beautiful without but a bit of eyeshadow doesn't harm.

I don't let her wear it to school though. She would if she could. I really don't know where she gets it from.

On the other hand she's perfectly happy to race around with her older brothers, climb trees and get muddy. So I don't think she's a lost cause yet 🤷‍♀️

This sounds very similar to my situation. I don't wear it every day and when I do I don't wear much. I'm confident without and happy to be seen without but daughter loves putting eyeshadow one etc and I don't see the harm. She'd wear it out if she could. But loves getting muddy at the park... I tell he she doesn't need it but acknowledge she finds it fun and enjoyable.

@Luredbyapomegranate

There are worse things, but personally I’d get her some face paints and encourage her to get creative.

Pretty much my thoughts too.

I don't think it's great. I'd just get her face paints instead.
I also hate people saying 'well what's the harm it's just face paint' but wouldn't buy the same make up for their son.

Santa brought my two year old multiple make up kits yesterday and she loves them.

I don't have any interest in make up and for the first year of her life dressed my LO in unisex clothes as I've always been more of a tom boy.

I'm embracing the fact that she's a girly girl and going with what she enjoys. Its turning out to be a great bonding activity. She's off to see her Mama and Aunty tomorrow and I expect the kit will go with her and they'll have a pamper afternoon.

A toddler having a 'pamper afternoon'? Jesus wept.

At that age DD had something similar to this so could style the hair and make-up on the doll.

@HMG107

Santa brought my two year old multiple make up kits yesterday and she loves them.

I don't have any interest in make up and for the first year of her life dressed my LO in unisex clothes as I've always been more of a tom boy.

I'm embracing the fact that she's a girly girl and going with what she enjoys. Its turning out to be a great bonding activity. She's off to see her Mama and Aunty tomorrow and I expect the kit will go with her and they'll have a pamper afternoon.

She's two.. she has no ideal if she is a "girly girl" and a pamper afternoon for a two year old sounds horrendous. Do you give her non-girly girl toys too?

I think it is rediculous. She has years of teenage years ahead of her.

My daughter went through a make up phase about 4. She loved it temporarily. I let her do her thing, just at home not out and about and the phase passed pretty quick.

It was fun for her and I didn’t see it as a big deal.

@SarahWoodruff

A toddler having a 'pamper afternoon'? Jesus wept.

My feelings exactly.

One of the thing I’ve found most difficult about motherhood is the constant feeling of being judged and yet here, in a forums supposedly full of mothers, the judgement is harsher and ruder than anything I’ve encountered in real life.

My 4 DD loves watching me put my make up on, she uses my make up sometimes and I also buy her ‘kids’ make up. I wear mine very minimalistically and explain its my choice to wear it as I like it. She tries it on about 1-2 times a month, she loves art, face painting and is very creative. I’m very happy with her using it. I’d find it odd for her to see me put mine on every day and say to her no you can’t use it, touch or try it if she’s interested.

[quote hoomama]@APerfectSky I don't think that it is sending any message to her - she just likes to dress up. In the same way that she likes to put face paint on? I don't push her to put make up on & I very rarely put full make up on myself so it's not like I'm saying she has to wear make up to be beautiful or anything. [/quote]
Yes it is. It’s sending the message that girls need to ‘look pretty’ and one way to do this is to change your appearance with make up. First of all, we shouldn’t judge people on their appearance, which happens all the time. ‘What a pretty girl’ ‘how lovely you look in that dress’ etc. it instils in children that appearance is important and is how people judge you.

Yesterday 3 year old DD was playing with said makeup she got for Christmas, we had to do our usual role play where she is the 'lady' and I am the 'customer'.I got my hair brushed, purple eyeshadow on my eyes but I also got beautiful purple stripes on my face and pink lipstick finished off with some frozen nail polish over my already painted nails. Then it was daddy's turn he got the exact same look. To me and her dad it's really harmless fun and the makeup comes off much easier than face paint!

I think it’s personal preference of adults. You’ll get people going either way.

I don’t buy any for my girls but mostly as I worry they may get spots or something. I had bad spots as a teenager so don’t want anything to mess with their skin. That said, I’ll let them wear face paint if we’re out and there’s a face painter as we don’t do this often.

I have been buying them water based nail polishes for a few years now and they love it. They can peel it off when they want and my only issue is when they spill it on the floor or get some on the sofa as it doesn’t come off 😫