Buying make up for 4 year old

[hoomama]

Is it really that bad to buy make up for a 4 year old? Just the little kid sets that have "lip gloss" in them but it's just a coloured lip balm that doesn't actually show any colour and some eyeshadows.

I was going to buy my Daughter a set as she likes to put my make up on when dressing up at home and she asked for one.

MIL then asked what she could buy for Daughter for Xmas. I sent her pics of all of the things I was thinking of getting for her and she chose a few items to buy. One of them was the make up set. Come Xmas and there wasn't a make up set in the presents off her. I thought maybe she'd just forgotten.

Turns out my Mum had bought her one. When I saw MIL in the evening, my Daughter got her make up kit out to show her and she looked horrified but she tried to style it out as best she could.

Is it really that bad to buy her a make up set?? I wasn't going to cover her in make up and take her shopping or anything! It is just for the house and when she dresses up etc. she's very girly and loves stuff like that.

I was very disapproving in principle of giving makeup to little girls but it’s not massively different to face paint - dd had a mix of both. It’s just part of copying what they see around them. Ds went through a phase of it too but grew out of it. It was very much a play thing though, like dress up or role play, and not for leaving the house in.

Having a few bits of her own kept her out of my make up.

Who are these parents trying to control and direct their kids

Is that not what were meant to do?

@FrancescaContini

Yep It’s fucking dreadful I really really judge parents who do this

Talk about OTT!!

There's children out there being physically/emotionally/sexually abused, starved, humiliated... but the parents who let their child mess about with what is essentially face paint are 'dreadful'

OP, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. You're not slathering her in fake tan, foundation, false eyelashes, contour.. she is using make up in a set formulated for children, that's barely visible on the skin. If she enjoys it, then that's all that matters.

I'm not really into make up although I'll wear a bit to look presentable for work but DD (5) loves the stuff! I tell her she doesn't need it and she's beautiful without but a bit of eyeshadow doesn't harm.

I don't let her wear it to school though. She would if she could. I really don't know where she gets it from.

On the other hand she's perfectly happy to race around with her older brothers, climb trees and get muddy. So I don't think she's a lost cause yet 🤷‍♀️

I think I would buy her actual face paints and have fun painting her up as things like butterflies, animals, characters, whatever she likes. The difference is not buying into all the misogynistic bullshit that will come with time regardless.

Dd was absolutely obsessed with make up as a 5 year old. And heels. I used to let her do what she liked in the house, she would plaster it on me and herself and any other female who would let her. The rule was she couldn't wear it out of the house. She went through that phase and came out the other side, now as 13 yr old she can't be bothered with make up or heels. She prefers to be comfortable.

You ask if it's bad? I personally think it sends a message than young kids need to be improved. Playing in the house isn't a big deal though but I wouldn't allow them out of the house in it

That stuff ruins clothes, carpets and a real bastard if they get it in their hair. Hate it!!

I have an 11 year old and never introduced or spoke about makeup and she has never had an interest until this year.

Miss 5 on the other hand. Lord help me. Hair, makeup, jewelry Is her thing she loves it and tet as I might to dissuade her not happening.

I personally don’t like it, but my nearly 4 year old dd has make up and wears it as when she’s playing and I’m supervising. She knows she’s beautiful as she is, and is very creative - as far as I can make out she simply sees the make up as painting her face as opposed to trying to improve her looks.

If she’s got make up on and we’re going out we leave it on. I don’t wear make up so it’s not something she’s learnt from me! DS will also get in on it too, but with slightly less enthusiasm than DD. He’s not so into art.

I would be sad more than angry if I knew a little girl was getting make-up.

It's the beginning of the pressure on them to look a certain way - like getting jewelry or their ears pierced. It's the implication that they way they look naturally isn't good enough and they have to add adornments and extra colour to make them look better.

The saddest thing of all is that they believe it and aspire.

We don't give our boys make-up kits normally, do we?

Would you get make up for a boy? If no, then there is your answer as to why it's a terrible idea.

@Haudyourwheesht

I wouldn't. There's plenty of time for them to develop an awareness that the world doesn't like naked female faces.

This.

Those of you saying it’s harmless and the same as face paints - do you buy make up for your sons ? And if not, why not, if it’s “ not massively different to face paint” ?

Nail polish yes.
Makeup for the face no.
I wouldn’t want to raise my child with the idea that makeup = needed to be pretty.
But I don’t judge other parents who do allow it.

I think it's far too young to be honest.

I don't judge but I wouldn’t have bought it for my 4 year old dd and nobody else did. Although my mother went on and on about buying dd a toy ironing board and iron at that age. One of the few times I put my foot down.

@Double3xposure, @ChocolateDeficitDisorder we don't have a son, but if we did & he was allergic to face paint like DD is, yes we'd buy him makeup too. We've never encouraged DD to wear it as makeup. It's always just been a version of facepaint that doesn't make DD vomit & break out in hives. I have helped her do herself up as numerous animals, paint weird patterns all over her face/chest/shoulders etc. Don't see why that makes me a bad parent, when doing the same thing with regular face paint would be a normal activity for many children.

She's also not allowed her ears pierced until she's old enough to keep them clean herself - not likely any time soon as she's nearly 10 & still struggles with hair washing due to ASD. And she prefers clothes that are comfortable, the colour & decoration are a secondary consideration.

She just wanted face paints like her friends. Feel free to judge.

@oviraptor21

Would you get make up for a boy? If no, then there is your answer as to why it's a terrible idea.

If he asked for some, yeah, why not?! It’s all just play.

@hoomama.

No, it's not terrible. It's just dressing up, playing.

Older teenagers who had it as little ones, never wanted make up when they were 10+, still don't wear much now- bit of mascara & lip gloss.

It's not a one way slide into full on make up, it's a stage little ones go through, totally harmless (well, not always for the carpet!!)

They always knew it was fir fun/playing with & were happy to have it wiped off when we were going out. In the same way they'd wash paint or mud off their hands 💁🏻‍♀️

I wear make up maybe once a month if that. My girls bloody love it, no idea where they’ve got it from because it’s not from their mum. I bought little crappy eye shadow and lip balm kits for their stockings and they’ve loved them. They’re 3 and 5

Children like sparkle, glitter, colour and copying grown ups.

MyvDD had one of those Frizen sets at 4yo. At 8yo, she wants to ben an Engineer in the Navy. And still likes a glittery eye shadow or nail varnish for a party.

I remember using my mother's makeup as a kid, but it must have simply been another form of play for me because I had no self awareness and never actually thought about using makeup as a way to improve the way I looked until I was in my 30s, and even then it was really just some lip colour and a touch of mascara. I never even owned a facial moisturiser until then. So, to answer your question, I guess it depends on the child and in what way she's using it?

I think it's fine, my 3yo has a wooden pretend set, and FC brought her some Frozen lip balms and wash off nail polish. My sister was horrified, she thinks she should be playing with trains and tractors, but when her young toddler son played with the make up that was ok and lots of pics for Instagram... People are funny!

DD is 3 and asked for makeup from Santa. She has a little dressing table and stool and spends ages at it using the little bits of makeup she has.

We got her a lot more, her own set of brushes lip glosses eyeshadow and nail polish.

I wear makeup everyday, I wouldn't leave the house without it but I do have a terrible skin condition I'm always hiding.

She sees this and loves to put her own on. I remember being really young and my mum putting on her makeup I remember the smells and all the colours and textures etc I used to love it

My dd6 has had a few makeupsets..I dont wear makeup bar some eyebrow pencil and concealer.
My dd gets annoyed that I don't wear more makeup as she loves it , she's only allowed to wear her makeup at home as part of dressing up and then has to take it off before we go out. I tell her often that she doesn't need makeup and she's beautiful and clever and kind etc.. she still absolutely loves makeup though 🤷‍♀️. As long as she's aware she's not allowed to wear it out then it's fine imo