Can school do this?

[TurnUpTurnip]

A couple of years ago I left dd 9 home alone for half an hour to take my other children to school (dd had chicken pox but was fine in herself) This was a one off as I don’t usually leave her, my son told the school that I had left dd alone and school reported me to ss... anyway nothing came of it but I was a bit surprised to be reported. Anyway my son is now 9 (10 in a couple of months) I occasionally leave him alone to nip to the shops as he hates coming, anyway the other day he was a bit unwell so I left him alone to take the others to school, anyway I mentioned it to my mum and she said you better be careful the school don’t report you again, I don’t see what there is to report? The school is 15 mins walk each way and there is no legal age for leaving a child home alone, my son has his own phone and can contact me if there is a problem. Are school right for reporting this?

Every case of neglect can and should be reported and taken seriously. You should be glad that at least the school care for your child's safety

I actually think what you're doing is fine. I have done similar. 9 is fine. Don't worry.

Out of interest, all the folk saying: too young

What exactly is it you're worried about?
As someone who was left at home from about 8 with clear instructions not to answer the door etc I fail to see the problem

@WaltzingBetty

Out of interest, all the folk saying: too young

What exactly is it you're worried about?
As someone who was left at home from about 8 with clear instructions not to answer the door etc I fail to see the problem

Exactly there is a thread on chat with many posters leaving children the same age alone for hours yet is attracting very different responses! Good old Mumsnet hey

It's not neglect though. Neglect would be leaving a child at home for extended periods, not doing the school run for half an hour. School were seriously overstepping and wasting social services time imo.
Important to remember that what she did isn't actually illegal - these things are for parents to assess based on their specific circumstances and child.
When schools do things like this, they ruin parental trust and make it more unlikely for struggling parents to seek help from them in the future.

I once had to leave ds at home on his own, he was younger than 9. We were snowed in & he had flu & I needed to get to the local shop for food, I left him sat talking to his grandad on the phone & told him to not leave the living room except to go to the toilet. That way he felt safe & if there was a problem my dad could ring me as I was only 5 minutes away.

Your house is one mile away from school? Your mum lives closer to the school than she does to you, so she must live near you, less than 2 miles away??
Do you have a car? I’d have arranged with school to drop the other children off in the staff car park or outside the school and ill child remain in the car. If you do t have a car I would have thought you’re leaving the child far longer than a 1/2 hour to shop or do a 2 mile round journey with drop off. If your child rang you and needed help who would be available?
I think 9 is very borderline and no I wouldn’t leave a 9 year old, they’d just have to go shopping with me or I’d get it delivered. That’s a personal opinion only, any judgement would come down to ss. School have a responsibility to report everything they’re worried about, it doesn’t mean that what is reported is necessarily wrong

No I don’t drive, my mum has to pass the school to get to my house I’ve explained that many times, she’s not closer to the school than I am, why aren’t people understanding that?

My old next door neighbour went out and left her 9yr old home alone (used to openly talk about it to me, so I knew for a fact she did, this wasn't me presuming) whenever she went on a 'quick dinner date' up until he fell down the stairs and broke his neck..........

That’s sad but could happen to a 16 year old as well so should we never leave them

@WaltzingBetty

See post above about neighbours' 9yr old breaking neck
Also, fire. As a kid, we had a crappy kettle. One day, I was home alone (I was 13, not 9) and that was the day it decided not to switch itself off! Eventually set on fire once it had burnt all the water away and thankfully the fire alarms woke me up from my nap on the sofa. I called fire service and wisely stood in the garden. My mum got a new kitchen off the insurance and no harm was done. Had I been 9, would I have had the foresight to do what I did? Or would I have hidden behind the sofa like I used to do whenever anything scared me when I was 9? Could've had a very different ending. Remember, not all 9yr olds are as savvy and mature as others.

Another risk is choking. It's not just not answering the flipping door!!

I probably wouldn’t do it but I wouldn’t report someone who did. But you were investigated once I probably wouldn’t risk it for that reason alone

@TurnUpTurnip

That’s sad but could happen to a 16 year old as well so should we never leave them

Yes but it only happened because he'd stacked all his toys either side of the stairs for one reason another and was running around. A 16 yr old wouldn't do that. Please stop trying to justify it, there is NO justification for leaving a 9yr old home alone! None.

Ok my 9 year old doesn’t play with toys, it’s not illegal to leave a 9/10 year old alone either 🤦🏻

Please stop trying to justify it, there is NO justification for leaving a 9yr old home alone! None.

In your opinion. I probably left mine at that age, I can't remember the exact age now but it would have been 10ish but younger than 11. It just evolved naturally in our case. I had to go to the shop, they didn't want to. I had to walk the dogs, they didn't want to etc. Like you it was never for an extended period of time. They were sensible kids and would never have tried to cook, boil a kettle, stack toys at the stairs, answer the door. Mostly I would find them where I left them, reading a book, watching tv curled up with the cats or whatever. Everyone can tell you horror stories but there also horror stories about kids getting hit by cars on the walk to school but that doesn't stop people walking their kids to school.

Something doesn’t have to be specifically illegal to be reported and investigated by ss. You’re obviously happy with your decision. You’re querying whether school have to ask parental permission to make a safeguarding concern. The answer is no. they are under an obligation to report anything that they are concerned about. It’s up to ss to investigate concerns raised. It’s often more about building up a picture of many concerns than one catastrophic one.
If something happens to your child you are liable and could be prosecuted, that’s just the way the law works in this country.

Bearing in mind something that's hit the news today - I'd suggest you don't leave him alone at all for another couple of years.

The 'don't say anything' spiel puts my back up, though, as it's exactly what is said to children that are neglected, put into danger and/or abused. After all, if he now knows not to say anything when he's told to by an adult - what happens when something happens that means he should tell them something - you being ill, not coming back because something's happened to you, another adult telling him not to say anything about abuse because 'Mummy will get into trouble like when you told them she'd left you alone'?

I never told him not to, I said he knows not to mention irrelevant information now he’s older like most kids don’t 🤷‍♀️

This situation in the news is also irrelevant, they were toddlers ffs

I found it much easier overseas when DS was primary age as SS had age guidelines for what was appropriate for schools and other involved parties to report. Up to two hours alone at age 8 or 9 was considered acceptable. There were also guidelines on how old an older child should be to act as babysitter. Of course those were minimum ages, you need to consider the individual child, and if anything happened then it would be decided if the parent acted appropriately or not.

@TurnUpTurnip

I never told him not to, I said he knows not to mention irrelevant information now he’s older like most kids don’t 🤷‍♀️

It's not irrelevant if you're concerned enough to make a thread about it.

If you're not confident in your decision, don't do it.

Please stop trying to justify it, there is NO justification for leaving a 9yr old home alone! None.
A 9 year old could potentially be in secondary school in just over a year (obviously not the child in question, but an August born child who has just finished year five would be 9). They then could be home alone for two hours after school everyday and some days in the holidays too. It would be best to work up to that.

I started leaving my oldest at nine when I was dropping off and picking up up the youngest from gymnastics. Both of my dc started walking to and from school with friends the summer of year five.

I'm a Primary School teacher and I consider myself to be competent enough to decide when my child can be left for half an hour.

It's absolutely preposterous to try and link leaving a nine year old with leaving three and four year olds.

@TurnUpTurnip

This situation in the news is also irrelevant, they were toddlers ffs

You think that'll make it OK when they're on higher alert because of it?

FFS indeed.

In our school they can walk home at 10 provided someone is there.