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Original poster

AIBU asking to separate toddler and dog

59 replies

Tots12345 · 15/12/2021 12:04

We have asked to keep my sister’s dog away from our 18 month old at Christmas, as my dh is especially worried about the dog barking and jumping up at her. The few times she has met the dog, the dog had jumped and barked and made our baby/toddler cry. The dog is very boisterous and not trained. We will be at my parents for Christmas with my sister’s family and dog, initial plan was for us to all stay over for 1-2 nights. We have asked the dog is in another room or in her cage. Now my sister is upset and my parents are saying the dog is part of the family. I know we and my dh may be over protective, but isn’t that our prerogative as this is a tiny human vs a dog?

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CheesyFootballsAreEvil · 15/12/2021 12:05

Don't go, they clearly don't care if you feel comfortable or not.

itwasntaparty · 15/12/2021 12:06

I separated my well trained small dog from my own toddler children unless under seriously close supervision.

If they won't agree to separate then I wouldn't go. There won't be close supervision, you'll have an over stimulated dog, over excited toddler, adults having a few drinks and a good time. Not for me.

BalloonsOnFire · 15/12/2021 12:07

Your child is part of the family and more importantly than a dog !

I think that although pets very much should be part of families when a situation such as this occurs the child is the one who then has to have their needs prioritised

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PatchworkElmer · 15/12/2021 12:09

I wouldn’t go either.

Ylvamoon · 15/12/2021 12:13

this is a tiny human vs a dog?

it's the dog in your family, isn't it?

yourestandingonmyneck · 15/12/2021 12:18

Sounds stressful. I wouldn't want to be on edge all day with an overstimulated dog / excited toddler combo.

I'd say we'd just pop round for presents /lunch then leave so the dog could have free rein.

BuddhaAtSea · 15/12/2021 12:19

You’re overthinking it a bit. If the dog is being jumpy and not taken away, you do it, shut the door and go about as nothing has happened. She needs to train the dog, or the dog stays at home. I adore my dog, but no way in hell would I put her above a child, any child.

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 15/12/2021 12:19

Just help your dc feel more confident around the ddog. They are both valued to the family. And your dc will ime get a lot out of such a friend...

Flowers500 · 15/12/2021 12:21

Ask them to take the dog for a long walk and tire it out early in the day. Then give it a chance to pass out in front of the fire, if it causes trouble it can be separated and put somewhere else. No need to be super precious about things, it's perfectly happy to coexist.

Soraya5 · 15/12/2021 12:25

You are totally right to be concerned. The best case scenario is that your 18 month old is scared/gets knocked over. The worst case scenario is that the dog harms your child in some way. Doesn't seem great for you. If they are completely closed off to discussing it your choices are:

don't go
go, but be prepared to pick your child up/have it in a high chair/remove the dog yourself.

TalkToTheHand123 · 15/12/2021 12:25

What kind of dog is it?

RobinPenguins · 15/12/2021 12:26

I wouldn’t go, you won’t be able to relax or let your guard down for the whole time you’re there.

Flowers500 · 15/12/2021 12:27

@Soraya5

don't go
go, but be prepared to pick your child up/have it in a high chair/remove the dog yourself.

What? The best case scenario is that the dog sleeps and has zero interest in the child, or they play and have fun, or just coexist.

gogohm · 15/12/2021 12:31

I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask for it to be in another room or under control eg on a lead, I don't like the idea of caging dogs though. I put my dog on a lead as needed

myyellowcar · 15/12/2021 12:32

Ok so the issue for me here is that all the risk is placed on your DC and the dog. They’re expecting the dog to manage its own behaviour to protect your child.

Separating them is the natural way to protect the toddler and the dog who (I assume) is not familiar with children.

I once read that many dogs who bite toddlers do so within three feet of the parents.

I’m a dog owner who keeps my toddler separate from my dog.

TheCreamCaker · 15/12/2021 12:35

A simpler solution is to go, stay for dinner or whatever, then go home and not stay overnight.

I hate the idea of any dog being stuck in a cage. I think you and your little family, would all be happier in your own home, without any hassle.

Florin · 15/12/2021 12:38

At that age they need separating if they are not prepared to do that then don’t go. I say this as a dog owner, I wouldn’t get into long discussions about it.

girlmom21 · 15/12/2021 12:39

Surely you can keep the toddler away from the dog?

Ozanj · 15/12/2021 12:44

Make it clear to your parents that either the dog is part of the family or your daughter is & force them to choose. If they choose the dog then cut them off.

Maxiedog123 · 15/12/2021 12:44

I am also a dog owner who supervised her own children and dog close ly. Until they were 10 or so we're never left alone with dog in room, dog was put in garden if I was put of room. When the kids were little we had child prrof gates on their rooms to keep dog out.
I love my dogs, border collies, but dogs will snap if hurt or frightened by a child.

Shallwegoforawalk · 15/12/2021 13:05

@Ozanj

Make it clear to your parents that either the dog is part of the family or your daughter is & force them to choose. If they choose the dog then cut them off.

Wow harsh!!

would you really go NC over this? You must really hate dogs

Kayjay2018 · 15/12/2021 13:07

Could you offer to take a travel or portable baby gate with you, then you just put it up in the doorway of the room you are going to be in and the baby is separated?

Ozanj · 15/12/2021 13:11

@Shallwegoforawalk - I was bitten by a small dog when I was younger so am wary about all of them. But one with an owner who can’t understand the risk of having them around a toddler when all the adults will be tipsy is one that is probably too thick to be able to control their animal / pay for training. I would definitely try to cut them out of my life if I could.

Idontevenknow · 15/12/2021 13:16

I don't really get it. You'll go in, the dog will be excited and maybe jump up as many dogs do at first.

Carry the toddler in for that part and then surely as you settle in the dog will calm down and likely be sleeping on the couch or whatever anyway and you will be there to stop your
child annoying it? And if doesn't settle, at that point demand it is separated. I think you're maybe overreacting to be honest.

HopefulProcrastinator · 15/12/2021 13:21

Frankly I would make it clear that either the dog is kept separate from the toddler or none of us would be going.

Seemingly friendly if excitable dogs are still capable of snapping in a split second and seriously hurting a small child. The risk outweighs any potential benefit especially as your sister doesn't seem to care about training the dog.

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