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Parenting

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Original poster

Leaving 11 and 8 year old at home

45 replies

LittleDonkeyKong · 13/12/2021 20:08

I've been offered a job. Working hours are Wednesday to Friday 10am-6pm. I'm in 2 minds about what to do. My girls are sensible and know not to leave the house, answer the door or mess with appliances. I have left them home before when nipping to the shops. My eldest has a mobile with facetime etc, 2 neighbours (one next door) have said the girls can go to them if they need anything. My workplace will be literally a 3 minute drive from home. I know there is no law about ages left at home etc but obviously they are my responsibility and if anything was to happen it would be on my head so to speak. I will be contacting childminders and nurseries tomorrow to enquire about after school care but neither of my girls are impressed as they say 'they aren't babies'

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Pleasedontputthatthere · 13/12/2021 20:11

I have two exactly the same age and no way would I allow this. I haven’t even left them alone for half an hour without an adult present. It’s too much responsibility for the older one I think. Unless I am too protective, I don’t think I am…

blablablack · 13/12/2021 20:15

8yr old absolutely no way. 11yr old well maybe but I'm not sure if it's going to be for around 3hrs if ur not home until just after 6. I'd say 11yr old also needs to go to childminder for another yr at least. She cannot be expected to be responsible for a younger child too. Maybe when they are 14 and 11 that wld be ok for then to both be at home.

ILoveMyMonkey · 13/12/2021 20:16

Will the 8 year old even be allowed to leave school grounds independently- it wouldn’t be allowed at my school.

8 seems way to young to be left alone 3 nights a week with an 11 year old in charge imo.

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Hohofortherobbers · 13/12/2021 20:17

How long would they actually be alone for? How would the 8 year old get home? I can see I'd leave a sensible 11 year old to walk home, let themselves in and be alone for a couple of hours. But I don't think I'd want them to be responsible for collecting and walking 8 Yr old home

Angel2702 · 13/12/2021 20:18

8 is too young. They wouldn’t be allowed to walk home from school here. Even 11 year old is pushing it being in charge of another child.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 13/12/2021 20:18

Similar aged children. No way would I let the younger child do it.

My 10yo? Yes. But she wouldn't want to alone.

Ikeameatballs · 13/12/2021 20:18

I’d say yes to the 11 year old alone, it’s having the responsibility of theyounger child which is inappropriate IMO.

Fuuuuuckit · 13/12/2021 20:18

Kids club for the youngest one.

I was the 11yo in your scenario, and will never forget (or forgive) the pressure I felt in being responsible for my 8yo sibling.

I suspect school would have a concern if you requested that your 8yo was left to walk home by themself, and be un(adequately)supervised for another 3 hours.

RubyFakeLips · 13/12/2021 20:19

How do they get on?

I would start with childcare for younger child and see how that goes for a year.

I would certainly expect a 12/13 year old and 10 year old to be fine, so if elder child is ok for now you can reduce childcare for younger child in a year or two?

OverByYer · 13/12/2021 20:19

Id put 8 yr old in after school club, then consider leaving 11 yr old but even that for me is still very young

SilverGlassHare · 13/12/2021 20:21

The 11 year old, yes. Probably not the 8 year old (though I do think 30 years ago no one would have turned a hair). Can you afford after school club just for the 8 year old, 3 days a week?

Ikeameatballs · 13/12/2021 20:21

Could you pay the next door neighbour to have them? I know they aren’t a registered childminder etc etc but it’s what a lot of people would do in this circumstance.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 13/12/2021 20:23

Well I did it for an hour 5-6 whilst I drove home once a week. Nothing terrible happened (they had a lift home after an after school club than finished at 4:30) but I accept it wasn't ideal.

Starlightstarbright1 · 13/12/2021 20:23

I would assess the 11 year old and the 8 year old neeeds childcare.

She isn't a baby but is still a young child.

GreenClock · 13/12/2021 20:25

The 8 year old should be in after-school club or with a childminder for the foreseeable future I think. It’s not fair to ask the 11 year old to take charge. Give it two years.

worksdo1 · 13/12/2021 20:33

Is the job term time only? What are your school holiday plans?

rainbowandglitter · 13/12/2021 20:40

Definite no from me

ViceLikeBlip · 13/12/2021 20:51

@Ikeameatballs

Could you pay the next door neighbour to have them? I know they aren’t a registered childminder etc etc but it’s what a lot of people would do in this circumstance.

I would do this. Maybe the older one could be home alone but go over to the neighbours for half an hour for tea or something (so they feel a bit independent, but there's very much someone looking out for them). I think you can do maybe 10 hrs a week before you have to start worrying about getting ofsted registered? I might be out of date on that though.

You absolutely cannot leave an 8yo unsupervised for 3 hrs.

ViceLikeBlip · 13/12/2021 20:52

@Ikeameatballs

Could you pay the next door neighbour to have them? I know they aren’t a registered childminder etc etc but it’s what a lot of people would do in this circumstance.

You absolutely cannot leave an 8yo unsupervised for 3 hrs.

InTheLabyrinth · 13/12/2021 21:24

Is the 11 year old just 11, or nearly 12? And are both girls at the same school? How far and how safe is the walk home?
The 8 year old is too young, especially if at a different school to her sister.
Some 11 yr olds would be fine with this. Some absolutly wouldnt be fine. Adding responsibility for a sibling is a big ask tho.
FWIW, my 10 yr old (Y6) always walks home alone, and is occasionally home alone for 30 mins after letting himself in. Childcare still happens if he would be locking the house himself in the mornings. He would be happy alone for an hour or 2, but usually I leave him with his older brother.

I'm sure you'd have said if it was a possibility, but do you have a partner? Any chance they could come home a bit earlier this days? Or your hours could be half an hour earlier?

effervescance · 13/12/2021 23:06

Same age as my kids. No way. Would never do that

TokyoSushi · 13/12/2021 23:08

Mine are the same age, they're too young. 11 year old would be fine for an hour or so, but after school until 6pm x3 per week is too long and just no for the 8 year old.

LynetteScavo · 13/12/2021 23:32

The 8yo absolutely no way! They need to go to after school club or childminder. An 11 yo possibly if you were reachable by phone at all times and they're at secondary school. If they're Y6, definitely not.

Starcup · 13/12/2021 23:32

I’ve got a 9 year old and a 13 year old. 13 year can be left alone for a few hours of course (but I still would prefer not to but mainly as I don’t want them to be lonely) and is totally sensible but there’s no way I’d leave the pair of them.

I’ve literally never even left them in the house whilst I’ve pooped to the corner shop together. Though I am thinking maybe people will think I’m OTT 😂

Starcup · 13/12/2021 23:32

I’ve literally never even left them in the house whilst I’ve pooped to the corner shop together. Though I am thinking maybe people will think I’m OTT 😂

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