Getting a 4yo dressed in the morning

[mirabelle04]

My son systematically resists getting dressed in the morning.

He's just about 4yo, he is reasonably autonomous as he can undress and dress himself mostly on his own. Ofc we don't mind helping when he needs/asks. We're well aware that the "putting on clothes crisis" is a thing around his age, but that doesn't make it easier on us...

It has been going on for quite some time now. We got him a child sized dresser so he can easily see and choose his clothing, we tried planning tomorrow's outfit before going to bed, but when the time comes to get out of his pjs, all hell breaks loose every single time. We're talking full blown tantrums, screaming, running around type of deal, that usually ends up in time out and parental exasperation.

This is driving my husband and I up a wall. We're at the point where we're dreading that moment every morning. I'm so over getting angry at my son every single time. I wish we could just start the day peacefully. To top it off we have a newborn, so the sleep deprivation doesn't help to remain composed in the early morning. I'm taking any tip other parents can give me on the issue.

What happens once he’s dressed? Is he going into nursery?

Does he like the tv? We sometimes say no tv until your clothes are on.

@Wolfiefan Week days days he goes to school. On the week ends we usually go out to the playground or such but he can stay in his pjs for the best part of the morning and we don't get to go anywhere as long as he doesn't get dressed...

I have a 4yo. We need to leave at 8.30am for school. On days when he won't get dressed I pretend to ignore it then go to leave at 8.20am with him still in his pants or pjs. He gets dressed incredibly quickly after that.

At the weekend could you either bath him in the morning (so he's naked anyway) or just throw joggers over his pjs? He won't get smelly at his age.

Telling my 4 year old she'll be late for school or I'm going out without her generally works, but I'm not above getting her in a headlock when necessary.

Maybe he doesn’t want to leave you and newborn and go to school. He’s very young to be at primary school.

I resorted to bribing my 2.5 year old with chocolate coins today to get him to put his trousers on

Have a race to see who can dressed first
Bribery
Reward Chart
Go to leave without him

@mynameiscalypso @black2black I feel I'm not above bribing him if it means avoiding a fight. Morning schedule gets quite tight though especially with the baby now so that by the time he's finally dressed we're already late.

@Wolfiefan Yeah there is probably a little bit of that, though he was already refusing to get dressed well before his baby sister was born. Mandatory education starts at 3yo here, it's actually his 2nd year of school since he was in early start program last year, and before that at a childcare centre. It sure is a busy life for a little one... but that's how it always was for him and he adjusted well to it.

@EllieSattler Morning bath on week ends actually sound like a good idea, I might try that. I thought about getting him dressed right out of bed on school days but that means he'll probably get breakfast all over his school clothes. Might be worth it anyway though.

Reward chart and talk him through it when he is calm. Do the same routing at weekends don't let him stay in his nightclothes any day.

One of my kids was a right dick head about getting dressed. They only allowed down stairs to watch telly before school if they are completely ready with their shoes on as well.

I have a 4 and 6 year old in primary school. I put their clothes out the night before and the rule is they must get dressed brush their teeth and wash their face before they come down. If they don't then they can't watch tv/tablet until we leave for the CM's. After a few times of missing out on any fun they do it without fuss now. Weekends are the same minus the teeth brushing as that's after breakfast (leave too early for breakfast at home during the week).

Ds1 is 5.5 and some mornings I still have to help him get dressed.

We make it fun, make a race of it - see how messy we can get his hair with his jumper. I do one sock he does the other,

I also have an 18 month old and DS1 I think just wants to stay home and play sometimes, it's not fun for them.

@MalbecandToast

I have a 4 and 6 year old in primary school. I put their clothes out the night before and the rule is they must get dressed brush their teeth and wash their face before they come down. If they don't then they can't watch tv/tablet until we leave for the CM's. After a few times of missing out on any fun they do it without fuss now. Weekends are the same minus the teeth brushing as that's after breakfast (leave too early for breakfast at home during the week).

Yep exactly this and similar age gap between my dds. It's worked well for years now

Yup. I do bribery in these situations, life is already short enough. Does he have an advent calendar? He can't open today's door til he gets dressed. Works with my 5 year old & 2 year old... Obviously a short term option, in January you may need to get something else lined up...

Are you dressing him and he kicks off or are you expecting him to dress himself?

I dressed dts through yr and part of y1, it was just easier. They were perfectly capable but only took me a couple of minutes rather than half an hour shouting at them and everyone getting dressed.

@itwasntaparty you still dressed them in school?

@MalbecandToast god yes, they turned 4 on the 28th August before they started. And there were two of them. I'm all for the easy life 😂

Race to get dressed (race against you)
Show you or daddy how to do it because you are too silly and keep putting trousers on your head (etc)
He chooses what baby wears, baby "chooses" what he wears (or some such daft game)
Blatant bribery- chocolate buttons, TV, advent calendar
Wear clothes to bed (we used to do this a lot come to think of it)
Oh, and lots of love and cuddles and attention at other times because he is probably discombobulated by the new arrival. And you are probably knackered so it sounds difficult for everyone.

I know your pain, it can be such a nightmare at times can't it?
Definitely use it as a race. Kids love this and feel they've achieved something if they win.
When things are really tough, as a last resort we have used bribery, eg. You get jam or chocolate spread on your toast if you're super quick! That works well. Luckily, he loves his food so if we say no breakfast until you're dressed then that always seems to work!
Sometimes I find that the more kids think they're being rushed, the slower they go. So make sure there actually is plenty of time.
Kids love to test us and see how far they can push boundaries. It's just about getting in their level and giving them some motivation for doing what you're asking them.

@itwasntaparty He mostly insists on dressing himself but he still needs help with some stuff like buttons, finding the right side of clothes, shoes etc. I don't mind dressing him either. But either way he doesn't want to come over, runs/jumps around, crawl under his bed, you get the idea.

I have this nightmare with my 3yo at the moment. Every morning he goes off with bad vibes of shouting and frustration. Brushing teeth is horrific too.
I’ve improved the situation slightly by dressing and brushing teeth before he goes down for breakfast as he seems to be more amenable then. He does get his breakfast down his jumper and it does irritate me, but overall, I just suck up a bit of a milk stain and prioritise less shouting and despair. No solutions for teeth though as yet.

I’m another one who favours getting dressed for school after the evening bath.

My 4.5-year-old Dd typically enjoys getting dressed for school in the evening, especially if she «races» the baby to see who can get dressed faster.

We go straight from getting dressed, to her choosing what book we’ll read for a bedtime story, so she’s very motivated to move things along. On the rare occasions she drags her feet, I jokingly put her socks on my hands and her underwear on her head and say “great, you’re ready!” She’s only too keen to correct me, steal back her socks, and get dressed properly.

If you’re nervous about keeping the outfit clean with breakfast, I usually give her “wipe-able” breakfasts. Toast with honey, plain yoghurt with granola… she doesn’t usually get anything on her clothes, but if she does those things are pretty easy to spot clean.