Super alert baby

[lykfay]

Hey everyone,

I have a 7 month old DD she is my first and she is super alert and very demanding ! She needs constant activity to keep her happy, Shes quite Whiny at times. She can literally hear a pin drop and I’m pretty sure she has eyes in the back of her head. Really nothing gets past her.

She is so stubborn and so strong willed. I’m finding it difficult to wean her. She seemed to start off ok but I think she’s teething and it’s putting her off. She keeps turning her head away all the time.

Since day one she has been quite difficult. When she was born she did the loudest longest cry anyones ever heard. She was quite unsettled as a newborn but I always put that down to her having silent reflux which caused her a lot of discomfort. She’s never liked her mosses basket or cot, she’s always wanted to sleep on me and would always wake up if I tried to put her down. She has been very clingy with me and still is. Only really seems to be happy if she’s being held and bounced around.

I’ve always found it difficult getting out the house with her especially when she was a newborn and being so unsettled all the time.

She answers to her name ( most of the time ), she looks when I point at things, She does socially smile ( even though it’s hard work for the poor person trying to get her to smile ) but she isn’t the most smiley baby I’ve ever seen. I get a couple of smiles a day and that’s it. She laughs ( cough laughs ) again hard work to get her to laugh but I’ve not actually had a belly laugh. She does give eye contact but it’s not amazing. She looks at you and the looks away but she definitely doesn’t avoid it.

She just seemed a lot more smiley and I definitely received more eye contact before she became so alert.

She has hit all her milestones so far except for babbling. She never really did much cooing as a baby but she definitely babbles the only thing is she doesn’t do it very often.

I've struggled with constantly worrying something is wrong with her, all sorts of neurological problems and my latest: autism.

I've spent the past 7 months fighting the way She is, feeling hard done by and honestly not accepting her. I have been in tears most days through exhaustion.

I find it really difficult going out to baby groups as everyone else’s baby is so chilled and content. Seems like they would sit there forever.
I just imagined having a baby so differently.

She isn’t the best sleeper. Tends to catnap in the day and wakes up about 3-4 times in the night but she’s fed to sleep so I think that might be the problem so trying to work on that.

I just wondered if you had a similar baby in the past how they turned out?

I’ll openly admit I’m a whittler and overthink everything but I just can’t shake the feeling that something isn’t right because she seems so different to other babies.

Thanks in advance and thanks for listening to my worries. X

My eldest was like this, he's almost 15 now and is doing fine. He can be a bit highly strung but he's a teenager so 🤷🏻‍♀️

My youngest was one of those chilled smiley babies at baby group. Then she became a toddler and OMG I missed the chilled days. She tantrummed for what felt like a solid 3 years. Shes 11 now and still hard work but in a different way, smiley again but just a lot of work.

Main difference between my two kids is that eldest is introvert and youngest extrovert.

The one thing I don't think I've seen mentioned on this thread - probably because actually 7 months is very early days for babbling development anyway, is hearing assessment.

Reading through I suddenly was reminded of some of my mother's descriptions of me; I was profoundly deaf from severe glue ear and learned to lipread delaying its recognition till I was 2 or nearly 3 (my mother was relieved to finally be believed). I was visually hyperaware, and also had a pronouced startle reflex when something I couldn't hear came into sight.

Other than that, I too had one high needs baby; she's turned out to have ASD type sensory issues but apart from that is very bright and capable and currently on a gap year before uni.

Hey everyone,

Sorry it seems to take me ages to reply back to messages these days. Especially now it’s Christmas and have to fit in wrapping presents etc now too.

Thanks again for all the replies and sorry I can’t reply back to each one individually, I could honestly sit and chat to you all all day. I have so many questions for you all. It really is nice to hear that other people have had difficult babies not at all like we imagined in our heads how they’d be when we were carrying them. And they all seem to have grown up to be amazing!

Hey @JaneEyress glad you found the chat. Hope you’re doing ok. Don’t ever feel bad about crying in front of your LO. We’ve all been there as mums !

@LaraLou99 love the name btw ! yes I’m breastfeeding ??????

@ Hullabalooobs I feel the exact same way about going out with LO. Im so anxious all the time with her and she probably senses it. I’m just always waiting for her to start whining and or crying. I to feel the same way about being lonely and the only one for miles with a baby like DD. It is such a shame we all live so far away as to meet up for a coffee morning would be great and thanks for tip on the book will look into it.

@PerserverancePays Thank you for your lovely message. I really do sympathise with your daughter the internet is good and helpful in one way and bad in another and can quite easily make you paranoid about stuff. I’ve promised to stop googling things from now on. Don’t think it’s doing me any good and can’t resolve anything. I do agree with taking a break from LO. I’m not sure how I would get away with taking her to nursery though as she’s breastfed and hasn’t taken to a bottle at all. I might start asking my mum to look after her for me whilst I go to the gym for an hour. Gives me a break. That’s great about your daughter and nursery saying LO seems absolutely fine.

@2319inprogress thanks for your message. I’ve heard colic babies can be tough but like you say after having a high needs baby I bet they’re a walk in the park 😂

@Pythonesque. DD hearing does seem to be fine if I’m honest. She snaps her head round whenever F.R.I.E.N.D.S theme song comes on (always have it on in the background) DH tried creeping up on her in the living the other day and she could her the floor boards squeaking. I’m not sure what severe glue ear is ? Her ears are always waxy but if I’m correct you aren’t supposed to clean them so I’m not sure what to do about the waxy ears.
Your daughter sounds amazing and so smart. Sounds like she has everything planned out nicely. Can I ask what is sensory issues ? I’ve promised myself to stop goggling things now ( not sure if it’s cheating asking someone instead) My LO does like to scratch things, she doesn’t do it all day every day or for long periods of time not sure if this was normal behaviour finding out how things feel. She loves squashing food in her hands and making a mess. She did this weird hard blinking thing for a week or so and seemed to have stopped. She doesn’t particularly like me putting her arms in her clothes/jackets always whinges and doesn’t like lotion being put on her arms either but she can easily be distracted when I’m doing these things and she’s fine.

Sounds pretty normal to me. On the sleep front, my DD was fed to sleep and that caused her to wake in the night - it was up to 5 times a night until 7.5 months when we sleep trained using gradual retreat I order to stop the feeding to sleep and she was down to one wake-up on night one. So if you're not opposed you might want to read up on that - doesn't work for every baby but does for many and could make a big difference to how you feel. On the weaning - mine was very fussy about spoon feeding and it was all very stressful, so I gave up on that, went 100% finger food, and it immediately became a lot less stress. She wasn't eating as much by 8/9 months as her spoon fed friends but that doesn't really matter and we weren't dreading mealtimes, which was huge

Honestly she sounds a bit similar to my DD. I remember trying to meet up with my NCT crew and do loads of baby classes and she had other ideas! It did get me down a bit that most of the other babies seemed so chilled in comparison.

We started nursery at 9 months and the nursery boss said to me she was pretty extreme in terms of trying to get her settled but that if it was any consolation she was also super bright. We got there in the end.

She's now nearly 3 and she's an absolute joy. Feisty, independent, a bundle of fun. Far too clever! Loves a playdate, has some lovely little pals. Nursery say she's a total character.

Hi OP basically you are not alone. Your baby sounds like a typical baby really! It is a huge shock to the system. Especially for a first baby. Our DD is an only as I couldn't handle even the thought of a baby plus a high maintenance toddler. And that's fine. Just get through every day, it will get easier. It's all a phase is so true.

DC1 slept well, was averagely demanding, fairly chilled, good eye contact etc. Typically developed.

DC2 awful sleeper, let out that scream you talked about, not great eye contact, a bit late walking but early to talk in sentences.

Both have SEN.

If your daughter is autistic, she's autistic whether you worry and stress about it or not. Whether you accept it or not. She might be, she might not be.

Either way you and she will both be happier and have a better chance of a good connection if you accept her as she is, meet her where she is, and try to stop worrying. I know it's hard as I was the same and I really, really regret it.

Could someone explain what SEN is ?

@nanbread It’s easy said than done isn’t it just to except things.

SEN is special educational needs

I had the same problem! My learning has been our diets have a huge impact on the baby. I've cut out my one cup of tea and she actually naps now and doesn't take 3 hours of rocking to get to sleep. I cut down in sugar and her farts stopped smelling too. Definitely look at your diet x

@lykfay
Hello,
My DD seems quite similar to yours. How is your baby doing now?
Thanks 🌷

@MommyDe I'm not OP but I remember reading this thread when my LO was the same age and worrying. Rest assured my difficult baby is now a thriving 2year old who is so so so happy and intelligent. I remember worrying about autism and adhd because of how alert and just unsettled she was. She's now honestly a dream.

@testy1997
Thank you so much for replying to my message it's very kind 🌷
I'm happy to hear things turned just right for your LO.
Mine is not super smiley and that's what worrying me the most.