Would you deceive your husband by pretending to take the pill because you're desperate for another baby?

[BigBlueHat]

theoretically speaking would anyone do this?

Has anyone out there done it? Or created an "accident"in some other way.

Just interested to know .......

dp has said no more babies after db3, and i just know that i will want another, but he is adamant. i have to respect that, and of course will.

lenny, how did your dh delibrately knock u up!!? wouldnt u have noticed him swapping your pills with sweets or pullin ur implant out ur arm??

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awwwwww Id forgive my dp for doing that if he gave me that as a proposel lol

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Great post Portandlemonaid. Absolutely right.

I know of 2 people who have done this - I was surprised, it must happen a lot?

I feel very sorry for men who this happens to.

I know someone who did it.

Caused a lot of upset, anguish...much of which now impinges on the poor child. But the man is as guilty as she, imo, as he should have taken cast-iron precaustions of his own, given the circumstances.

Have no patience with the notion that men cannot be expected to take responsibility for their desires, that it is somehow a woman's fault if she expects a man to take any responsibility for his apparantly unstoppable desires. It's taken how long to get rid of that notion in rape trials!

No, What an utterly shit thing to do to someone. No way. Never.

But Blu - if a man is told that a woman is on the pill, surely he should be able to trust that/her? Obviously no contraception is 100%, if the contraception fails, no one is to blame. If a woman sabotages it on purpose, that's very different isn't it?

I recently started taking the minipill as I had a pregnancy false alarm and am finding it really difficult to remember to take it - mainly I think because I don't really want to take it and would prefer to try for another baby.

I sat down and talked with DH about it and explained how I was feeling and that I intended to stop taking it when the pack runs out after Christmas. I also told him that I would like have another baby. We're still talking about it, but I think he seems amenable.

To approach it any other way i.e. by 'forgetting on purpose' is completely dishonest, and I don't want my relationship to go that way. If DH was v unhappy about it and wanted to use contraception for longer, then I would respect that, but it would be up to him to arrange it. Both partners have responsibility for this, it's not just up to the woman

I agree Boho - but the woman in the case I know of was supposed to be using a diaphragm - he was too drunk to know - which she planned by feeding him a bottle of champagne or two - and she was his extra-marital - so he should have a)not been in the relationship b)been using condoms for health reasons and c) not actualy trusted to her as she was clearly trying to prise him away through means of pregnancy.

But this thread is about protection within a situation that is supposed to be based on mutual trust - not affairs.

Sounds like a sad situation all round Blu

I take your point about that the man should be able to control himslef. My point was when the woman is secretly wanting another baby but knows the man doesn't but is hoping he will just get carried away and hope for the best. The woman can potentially fall pg without any tricking going on but she has got what she wanted.

A man may not want to have the snip in case of wanting more children in the future.