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Parenting

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Original poster

What time to get up with 8w old… am I just lazy?

59 replies

Bellyrumble · 09/11/2021 22:50

First time mum, DS is 8 weeks old

He is mostly breastfed but has a bottle (of either formula or expressed milk) at lunchtime and on an evening at around 10 as that works for now, he seems to settle better.

He tends to wake once overnight, sometimes twice depending on how early he goes down for the night.

If waking twice it’s around 5am which is too early to get up but then I’ll stay in bed until around 8/9am and give him a feed in bed. I feel this has created a bad habit where I’m not getting up until half 9 or half 10 some days. Then I’m not dressed etc until just before lunchtime as he’s pretty awake throughout the morning and won’t be put down.

Should I be getting myself up and ready earlier? I do feel better when I’ve done my hair/ make up/ got dressed but I’m just sooo tired on a morning. Am I just being lazy or should I be making the most of late starts with a small baby?

I see friends are up and out walking at 9 when I’m only just waking up sometimes.

I know I have it lucky compared to many as he typically only wakes once in the night but I’m still shattered all the time.

Any suggestions to make me feel better/ more energised would bd appreciated. Thank you

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Letsgetquizzy · 09/11/2021 23:23

I felt like this with my first - she was born early October, would feed half the night and then crash out until about 9am. Went on for weeks. Also a Velcro baby and by the time we were up and sorted, there was about an hour of proper daylight left!

I really wish I hadn't stressed about it - plenty of time to be up and out afterwards. You may find a walk and some daylight helps you feel a bit more energised but should feel under no pressure whatsoever for this to be at any particular time.

Enjoy your baby.

Gwlondon · 09/11/2021 23:23

No. Don’t worry. Do what you need to. I was so so tired when my kids got to the 7 month mark. Explain to your husband that you have to keep your stamina up and that means resting when you can. Then try and explain that it’s going to get worse. Your husband has no idea.

Original poster

Bellyrumble · 09/11/2021 23:24

@Fupoffyagrasshole sleep ins for 7 months sounds the dream! 😂.

I’m going back to work full time when he is 7 months, then DH is taking shared parental leave (for financial reasons as well as us both wanting some sort of equality, though I know I’ve had the bulk of the time off). We do split stuff quite fairly, just feels strange to be sleeping this much as it’s the first time I’ve been able to I guess!

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douliket · 09/11/2021 23:24

Omg enjoy it, you have the rest of your entire life for people to make you feel bad about what you do with your kids. Don't fall for it, it is a completely relaxed, lovely set up you have going, and you obviously don't have other kids to get to school in the mornings, it may not always be like this.
I used to sleep in with my first newborn untill about 11am,usually would have us washed and dressed by lunchtime and head out.
There is no such thing as a day off with a newborn

wizzkidd · 09/11/2021 23:29

I did what you are doing with all mine. I also had friends who were at the coffee shop at 7am as their baby was up for the day at 6am. Enjoy it!

squee123 · 09/11/2021 23:35

Stay in bed, snuggle your baby, rest while you can in case the sleep goes to pot soon. I rarely got up before 10 with my newborn. At 18 months that seems a distant dream. I'd love to go back and do that again.

You'll never look back and wish you'd done more jobs. You might well wish you'd relaxed and snuggled more.

sweetkitty · 09/11/2021 23:40

Oh no like everyone else has said enjoy it whilst you can. You will never get this precious time back with your firstborn. I remember looking at Mums with 2 or 3 and thinking how do you do it? By the time DC4 came along I have one at school, one at nursery, one under 2 and a newborn oh I would have loved morning snuggles with him. It goes past on the blink of an eye your job right now is bonding and feeding making your baby feel all loved and secure.

GroggyLegs · 09/11/2021 23:42

That sounds AMAZING!
As everyone has said, relax, enjoy it.

These times are precious and few - there's a good chance you'll soon enough have a toddler who is ready to start the day at 5!

MrsMo21 · 09/11/2021 23:46

Omg please don’t put yourself under pressure like this! You’re surviving, you birthed a human being, you’re keeping said human being alive…you get up at 3pm if that’s what suits you and your little one. At 8 weeks I was still sleeping downstairs with my LO as I was genuinely afraid of sleeping upstairs, sounds silly but after a EMCS downstairs was safe and I knew how to navigate that…upstairs was unchartered territory. You sound far more put together than I was at that stage, well done!
Ignore the noise - you do you.

StrongbutTired00 · 09/11/2021 23:52

My 5 month old baby wakes up at 6am but just entertains herself until I am ready to get up around half 7. Then after the school run she is ready for a nap so we both sleep from around half 9 in the morn until 12ish! Enjoy it and replenish your energy levels, babies are demanding little creatures and take a lot out of us

sunflowerroses · 09/11/2021 23:54

When my baby was so young I never made plans before 11! She woke at 6ish for a feed and then we both went back to sleep.

SortCode · 09/11/2021 23:56

Carry on and stay put get yr rest, it will change again soon.

SortCode · 09/11/2021 23:57

In fact I used to give a bottle at 8am and we both went back to sleep till 11am.

Hoowhoowho · 10/11/2021 00:03

My biggest regret with DS is that I wasn’t lazier. Why I didn’t just sleep, watch films and snuggle the baby I don’t know.
I took my 8 week old baby to baby classes! I must have been quite mad.

There is one chance in life for chilling with a newborn, healing from the birth and getting enough rest. Take it. Don’t look back with regrets

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 10/11/2021 00:07

why?
why do you compare yourself to others?

do whatever the heck you want!

financialadvicenc · 10/11/2021 00:12

Just survive. You're doing great. Sending a hug. You're gonna be fine.

johnd2 · 10/11/2021 00:20

The only thing that matters is whether you are happy with it, and your baby is getting what they need (sleep, milk, cuddles, clean nappies, etc)
There's no such thing as should for a schedule!
Ours was a terrible sleeper but always a late waker and now at 2 he still sleeps in until after 8am, and we just roll with it. The 2.30am wake-ups, we don't quite enjoy as much as the lie ins!
Good luck and take care of yourself.

detachablehoof · 10/11/2021 00:31

My 2.5 yr old sleeps til past ten sometimes... and I am making the most of it before she goes to nursery next year!

Rno3gfr · 10/11/2021 00:37

Ha! When ds was that age we’d have a feed in bed at around 6:30am and then he’d be promptly put back in his next to me crib until 10:30am, so we could both have a nap until the next feed...

toomuchlaundry · 10/11/2021 00:48

Do you mainly stay in once you are out of bed and doing housework?

Do you go out for walks?

Once the baby gets slightly older you may have to spend less time doing jobs and interacting more, so may need to lower expectations where housework is concerned!

infoseeker21 · 10/11/2021 03:39

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Original poster

Bellyrumble · 10/11/2021 04:00

@toomuchlaundry it depends on the weather to be honest- we do get out most days for a potter to the shops in the afternoon, and he sleeps very well on an afternoon with the fresh air (again I know this may well change!) but if it’s absolutely peeing it down we stay in. Or nip out somewhere briefly in the car instead.

I’m working on expectations re housework. My husband “bottomed” everything last weekend so for the moment it’s easier to keep on top of what he’s done, but as you say it’ll become harder as the baby gets older and I need to find my peace with that.

(or tweak our spending to see if we can afford a cleaner if it’s affecting me that much- it genuinely really affects my mood and I can’t enjoy sitting still if there’s things needing to be done, which I know deep down is ridiculous )

OP posts:

Flittingaboutagain · 10/11/2021 06:19

Wow my baby is still up several times a night so I am a little bit but no way should you feel guilty. It's your life and if you have no reason to be up then relax! You can go for a walk in the afternoon if you like instead.

Wagglerock · 10/11/2021 07:20

I used to do this with DS a bit. He was a ghastly sleeper from about 4 months. I found it made me a big groggy for the rest of the day though so used to push on through in the morning and have an afternoon nap instead! Do whatever works for you.

I do think you need to reset your expectations about the house - how much mess can you actually be making with an 8 week old?

CallMeRisley · 10/11/2021 07:28

I’m jealous because I have an older daughter too so I need to leave the house at 8.20am each morning for the school run. Many of my “baby friends” with babies the same age as my little one are like you and if I suggest meeting up in the morning or going to a baby group that starts at 9.30am or something like that they say they struggle to leave the house before lunch time.

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