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Original poster

Curious- what's your opinion of this...

70 replies

TinselGrrrlWith2Boys · 13/12/2007 10:56

I met a friend for coffee the other day, whose baby is a few weeks older than mine. She was trying to recall exactly how many weeks her DC was, so i asked if he'd had his 1st jab yet, thinking it would prompt her.

She said she wasn't giving him any vaccinations at all, and that her DD only had the 1st one. Her reason was that she felt her DD had 'changed' after her jab at 8wks, so she refused her any more, and won't give her new baby any either.

I didn't comment, but i was a bit shocked by that. I do feel babies seem to have a jab every month, as there are so many, but the thought of one of them getting sick / deaf or worse is scary.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

yorkshirepudding · 13/12/2007 10:58

Message withdrawn

BibiJesus · 13/12/2007 10:59

Well, it's her choice. Personally I think it's the wrong one, but that's just my opinion.
In what way did she think her dd changed? Did she elaborate?

Original poster

TinselGrrrlWith2Boys · 13/12/2007 11:00

she said she cried more

i understand it's her choice. Her HV doesn't mind you.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

ELR · 13/12/2007 11:04

new borns do change!! agree with yorkshire pud if shes looked into it in depth then none of anyone elses business. I dont see any reason why babies should not have all the vacinations

bethoo · 13/12/2007 11:06

at the end of her day she is putting her child at risk. all babies cry after having a booster!

Original poster

TinselGrrrlWith2Boys · 13/12/2007 11:12

i do think 8wks is too young to decide jabs are dangerous based on more crying.

DH and i discussed the MMR jab that DS1 had, and decided to give it, based on a bit of reading and discussion. We never thought about refusing the others though.

OP posts:

pantoinghousewife · 13/12/2007 11:14

Toss up between a bit of extra crying or the damage that whooping cough etc could inflict, no contest for me.

purpleduck · 13/12/2007 11:47

Lots of people decide not to vaccinate. I think as long as parents make an informed decision, then the choice is theirs. Most parents would never dream of giving their children food without reading the ingredients, or Calpol without looking carefully at the instructions, but they will vaccinate without looking in to it at all.
Maybe she had looked into it, but didn't want to discuss it? Maybe she isn't comfortable with vaccinations, but doesn't want to discuss it..?

TrinityTheRedNosedRhino · 13/12/2007 11:47

I think she is totally ridiculous for not researching it thoroughly before making that decision

I also dont agree with her not giving them
all three of my children will get all the imms. offered

woodstock3 · 13/12/2007 20:34

sorry i know people feel strongly about this but i think it's irresponsible not to vaccinate, not just for your own child's benefit but for other children's. what if your unvaccinated child is the one who gets measles, recovers fine but starts the measles epidemic in which my child (who's too young for MMR and therefore unprotected) dies? these decisions have far-reaching impacts.
that said i can understand why parents are afraid of jabs - there's so much scientifically illiterate and unproven hogwash around about the dangers of vaccinating that it's amazing anybody does it really. in an ideal world your friend's gp should notice the baby hasn't had its jabs, ask her why, and allay her fears by explaining that 8weekold babies change quite a lot and that crying more is not a side effect of vaccination.

EmsMum · 13/12/2007 20:55

Yup woodstock.

We've recently had a letter from school asking us all to make sure our kids are vaccinated properly because theres a lad in Yr 3 who is undergoing some treatment (I don't know what but it must be immunosuppressive) for whom catching measles etc could be extremely serious.

Puts it in perspective huh. This little boy could die because someone else was taken in by psuedoscience.

MrsWeasleysmagicmincepies · 13/12/2007 21:00

I was at a toddler group when one mum said she wasnt getting her DC vaccinated because I quote "I cant be bothered and anyway everyone else is vaccinated so her children wont be exposed to any of the illnesses anyway" I couldnt believe it.

kerala · 13/12/2007 21:02

Agree with woodstock Im afraid. I met a mum who had chosen not to vaccinate. She was very into alternative therapies and new age stuff. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

These diseases are rare because of the vaccinations so some people get blase about not getting jabs. If you actually met a child with whooping cough or a man with adult onset mumps (both of which I have come across) you wouldnt be so relaxed about not having jabs.

onepieceoflollipop · 13/12/2007 21:04

My dd2 has had all her vaccinations yet still caught measles (thankfully a very mild case.)

Where we live (like most other places I guess) there are areas where there is a higher incidence of some of the parents choosing not to vaccinate for lots of reasons. As a result diseases like measles are becoming more widespread again.

I don't want to debate the rights and wrongs of vaccination, but it is fact that in areas where less children are vaccinated, these illnesses are on the increase, and the "herd immunity" effect is lost.

LilianGish · 13/12/2007 21:13

Spot on Woodstock. People like the OP's friend can only afford to be complacent because other parents are responsible.

yurt1 · 13/12/2007 21:18

My eldest son is fully vaccinated & vaccine damaged

the youngest 2 aren't vaccinated at all. so shoot me.

purpleduck · 14/12/2007 14:06

yurt1, I am very sorry to hear it
Is he ok?

candypandy · 14/12/2007 14:14

Yurt and her son took a huge burden. Would you blame them for not doing it again? I don't know if they have, but would you call them irresponsible if they didn't? It would be a brave and hardened person to do that.

candypandy · 14/12/2007 14:14

Yurt just read your post again. Obviously you haven't! Not shooting you.

snorkle · 14/12/2007 15:35

The very optimum solution for an individual is to be the sole unvaccinated person in a world where everyone else is vaccinated. But of course only one person can be in that position. Vaccination is a complex issue, it is generally the socially responsible thing to do, but the issue isn't totally black and white.

yurt1 · 14/12/2007 16:29

candypandy. purpleduck - ds1 is 8, severely autistic with severe learning difficulties and had yet to speak his first words (I doubt he ever will). He will require 24 hours care for the rest of his life, I don;t think even supported living is a realistic option for him. Now in his case (as in most) the issue is complex but knowing what we know about our family history & the current state of knowledge regarding difficulties with vaccination we decided that it was a risk we couldn't take with ds2 and ds3 unless the benefits were absolutely clear. I would prefer them to have a tetanus jab, but can't given them one as they only come packaged as the 5 in 1 which neither is getting. We didn't just avoid vax - we have also been very careful about antibs and exposure to gluten. DS3 has the same biological markers as ds1 (for want of a different way of putting it) but is developing normally.

I was absolutely pro-vaccination until ds1. Most of the people I know who haven't vaccinated (and I actually know lots) haven't done so because of finding themselves in a situation similar to mine. I can think of one person who hasn't vaccinated because of seeing ds1's regression (she has known ds1 since birth)- although her eldest son didn't react that well so it wasn't just ds1.

When ds3 was in hospital following a seizure I really expected to get a grilling from the doctors about his complete lack of vaccination, I was very surprised that I didn't. The majority were actually cautiously supportive of our decision. To my surprise.

It is far more complicated than the leaflets would have you believe....

A great book was published this year by an NHS GP- Richard Halvorsen- the truth about vaccinations. He actually ends up recommending the majority of them but really explains the problems behind the current system very well. I'd recommend to anyone struggling to understand the issues.

I do wish that I hadn't vaccinated ds1 on a whim. But hey ho, that's life. My mum is deaf in one ear because of measles btw so we have personal family experience of the other side. That however, is a preferable alternative to what ds1 has gone through.

candypandy · 14/12/2007 17:27

Yurt, really really sorry. It's really strong of you to tell your story. Not on a whim though. Everyone tells us it's fine, and are still telling us this.

Elf · 17/12/2007 14:08

All you people who think it is socially irresponsible not to vaccinate, have you read ANYTHING of the other side of the story? Don't forget, it is the government telling you to do this. Do you believe everything they tell you? If you read just a small amount about the other people's point of view it would really make you think.

holidaywonk · 17/12/2007 14:17

I am very sorry to hear your story yurt, it must be hard to deal with. However, I would like to back up the point about herd immunity. These choices are not just 'the parents' business', because the loss of herd immunity affects many vulnerable people. My mother has cancer and has undergone many rounds of chemo; she has very little natural immunity to anything these days. A dose of chicken pox or measles would almost certainly kill her. If that happened because some ill-informed bint had decided not to vaccinate on a whim (NOT for rational and understandable reasons, as in yurt's case), I'd be bloody furious.

coppertop · 17/12/2007 14:19

In all other aspects of parenting we accept that all children are different, have different needs etc and that a one-size-fits-all approach is wrong. Why is it so different with vaccinations?

My two younger children have had all the immunisations with no problems but ds1 reacted badly to the DTP and we were advised not to let him have any further doses. I'd hate people to be talking about it behind my back and calling me irresponsible because of it.

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