How to get children to do homework

[Sarah62]

I’m struggling to get my children to do any homework. At the moment our after school routine is usually something like this - play in the park for half an hour, watch tv for half an hour (while I make dinner), have dinner at the table. Try and do some form of homework or reading - kids often don’t want to or flat out refuse, especially spellings. Take one child to activity, sometimes two children to two different activities. Come home relax, bath and story time/bedtime.

I’m usually doing all this on my own with 3 children,1 of which is a toddler who can be quite demanding.

Any kind of quiet time to do work is trashed by the toddler.

I’ve thought of not doing activities eg football for the older children but it’s hard as should DC2 miss out because DC1 didn’t do the homework? And DC1 couldn’t do the homework because DC3 was screaming and turning the computer off etc?

How do I manage this please? Really need some top tips!!

I try to catch up with homework on weekends but OH often working or out at own activities or we have a family afternoon out. I feel like I’m the only one who is attempting to push the homework and reading baton.

Help please

I would get my dc to do their homework straight after school.
But tbh at that age I didn’t used to push it. I preferred them to enjoy reading rather than the full books from school.
Spellings timetables I would randomly ask throughout the day. That did seem to work and was minimal effort for everyone.

Dull books

How old are they?
Mine are 6 and 8 and they just do it as soon as we get home if they can do it alone, or in the mornings for 10-15 min for the bits they need help with. We have no tv during the week so that helps time wise.

How old are they?
No TV until homework is done. Needs to be done straight after school then rest of day can be TV, play, activities etc.

They are 9 and 7 and 2

We normally go to the park for a run around after school as they often come out hyper (and the toddler needs a run around), the tv at home is then mostly So I can make the tea. I can see how no tv until after homework sounds good, but I’m not sure how it would work in practice?

I’ve tried getting into a routine where DC1 does homework straight after dinner (but the toddler is getting particularly grumpy at this time of day now) while DC2 and/orDC3 watches tv (to keep them out of the way but it’s not really working. DC2 definitely resisting swapping to it being their turn for homework. It’s just a nightmare

Can you cook dinner while they do homework?
Lots of incentives for them till it’s a habit.

Do you have a table in the kitchen? I often had one reading or doing maths in the kitchen while cooking.

Screen time was dependent on homework being done. I know that kids should not need bribing to do homework but it worked well.

Or you could make playing in the park after school a reward for homework the day before. If they don't do homework then they aren't rewarded with extra screen time though.

We have tried a few things over the years (DC very resistant to homework, some SEN). The only things that have worked are homework club at school or do it straight away when she gets in, before anything else. She's an early riser so occasionally if she's refused we'll come down to find the worksheet done. Reading we have never cracked though. We read instructions, notices, do games that involve reading and writing and read to her.

The park thing will solve itself once it's dark earlier?

You do need your OH's active support. It's very unfair to leave this tedious task to one parent. Do you do all the drop offs and pick ups too? Maybe make the reading his responsibility and tell school that.

WRT weekends I find that after breakfast is a good time to do homework. They are alert, not hungry or thirsty so good conditions for learning,

Our youngest two do it in the morning after breakfast, they’re just too tired after school.

What time do you eat dinner? Can you push that back by 30 mins so homework can be done before TV?
So an evening would be park, homework, TV while you cook, dinner, activities.

Homework done straight after a snack once back from school here.

Homework straight after school here too, nothing else works. Once they have tv they have switched off brain and it’s very hard to re focus (I am the same tbh!!)

We do have a 15/20 minute walk from school so there’s a bit of exercise between school and homework.

Could you cut down park time, push tea time back a bit and do homework in between park and tv/tea? Mine have a snack on the way back from school to allow a later tea time.

I definitely think at the very least you need to provide a quiet space for homework where the youngest child isn't distracting them.

A 9yo should be able to do their homework alone/with minimal input from you- you take the 2yo elsewhere and give them time and space to do it. Don't worry if it's not perfect- an attempt is the important thing.

With the 7yo I think it's more difficult, as they will need some input from you. However, I think it's important to carve out 30 minutes or so a week of dedicated time for them to get into the habit of doing their homework. If they are resistant to doing this, then you need to sanction.

I'm assuming it's only a small amount of homework each week, plus reading?

Do you have a partner who can help?

Thanks some god suggestions here. And good to hear I’m not alone.

Yes I have a husband who can help but due to work isn’t consistently home at a reasonable time for homework.

Agree with what others have said. The 9 year old is generally independent though I need to check homework hasn’t been rushed through. The 7 year old need a lot of help and the tasks set are often quite vague like make a model, write a story etc so needs a lot of input.

Main problem is the toddler, and being home with 3 on my own. They are all very good at getting out of doing homework while I’m distracted by helping one of the other two.

Thanks for the suggestions. I will definitely take on board and try and improve this week. It’s a tricky balance doing everything expected of us after school.

I think with primary school they assume that mum ( generally?) is at home and able to last minute have all the things needed for model making or costumes.
Used to make me feel
Guilty.

I'm a teacher here, kids shouldn't be doing homework until secondary in my opinion so can you limit it so it's just learning their spellings and reading you their book. Then you focus on just getting the basics done, rather than something every night.

Straight after school here as well otherwise they are just too tired/ resistant/ have mentally downed tools for the day. You probably need to push dinner back a bit (what time do you eat - it sounds like it would be fairly early to me).

I would also try and balance out what they could do independently with what they needed my input with - so DC1 would be doing 20 mins independent reading whilst DC2 was reading to me or DC2 would be getting on with something for 20 mins while I looked over DC1s homework.

I will also say that I was more than happy to stick DC3 in front of a screen for 30 mins to gain some peace for DC1 and 2 to do stuff - I generally negotiated the screeches of it not being fair by saying that was DC3s screen time then as the others had theirs later after dinner.

So routine was generally home and snack (or park and snack if I was feeling generous), homework, tv while I cooked dinner. Activities as and when and there are definitley nights when there isn't time to do everything and just reading gets done.

I used to hear mine read at bedtime before I read them a story, so at least the reading was done every day. Some families prefer to do it in the morning before school. I’d leave the bigger tasks like writing a story or making a model until the weekend.

Expecting them to want to get back to proper school work other than reading after they’ve had all day at school, then a play, then some relaxation time, then dinner is too much. Plenty of adults would struggle to feel motivated by starting a work task as the last thing they do before bed.

Crikey, I’m a primary teacher and I can assure you that my own children won’t have time for make a model type homework by the time I’ve done all my own making/prep for the next day and we’re home for dinner and bed. I shall be focussing on reading, spelling and times tables. Much else just isn’t practical when you’ve got two working parents, and luckily the school I work at recognise that and work on the basics.

In your situation I’d be tempted to skip the park, straight home for homework while you cook dinner and toddler is distracted by his/her own tv programmes in another room. Then use screen time after homework/park the next day as a reward for previous days’ homework completed. You can definitely multitask and cook something simple while helping a seven year old, but I’d think the toddler might be the sticking point….my eldest is just about to turn 3 and only now can actually leave me alone for ten minutes.

Best of luck - this is like a glimpse into my own future. Looks like I’ll be up until midnight getting my own work done after homework etc.

Mine are dropped back by the CM at 6, fed. Read in rotation whilst the other has a drink and a small snack. Both have to be done to get 30 minutes screen time before bath, milk, teeth, stories and bed. The loss of screen time for the day drives better behaviour and the routine is set in stone (except when DS1 has Cubs where he accepts that he loses screen time and goes to bed late).

I have a 9 and 8 year. Some days they get home until 6 because of after school as we both work. They also have activities on three school nights. Homework first, it is a priority.

We prep meals so they are just getting heated up so we are just popping in and out the kitchen or if we aren’t organised I set them up at the breakfast bar and multitask.

Reading can be done at bedtime but they prefer their own books so we mostly fit it in.

Sometimes the only TV they get is the iPad set up so they can watch it from the bath.

Homework is just busywork and has less learning value than whatever fun activities your children would rather be doing instead.

By the way have you read Bryan Caplan’s book The Case Against Education?

Thanks everyone.

Sounds like the park has to be cut short.

Agree with the comment above - 9 year olds homework is mostly building on something they’ve done in class. 7 year olds homework is busy work. It’s often something they’ve already done in class and is usually met with ‘I’ve already done that, or I don’t want to I’m not doing it’ argh!

Next week I’ll try no screen time until after homework time and see how we get on. The sticking point is dc3 who is usually in a foul mood (either hasn’t had a nap or just woken up from a nap)

It’s so hard doing even the basics when you’re outnumbered.

DC1 refuses to read at bedtime so we try to do this straight after dinner while at the table and there’s no escape.

We do homework in the mornings before school. works much better for us