How to get children to do homework

[Sarah62]

I’m struggling to get my children to do any homework. At the moment our after school routine is usually something like this - play in the park for half an hour, watch tv for half an hour (while I make dinner), have dinner at the table. Try and do some form of homework or reading - kids often don’t want to or flat out refuse, especially spellings. Take one child to activity, sometimes two children to two different activities. Come home relax, bath and story time/bedtime.

I’m usually doing all this on my own with 3 children,1 of which is a toddler who can be quite demanding.

Any kind of quiet time to do work is trashed by the toddler.

I’ve thought of not doing activities eg football for the older children but it’s hard as should DC2 miss out because DC1 didn’t do the homework? And DC1 couldn’t do the homework because DC3 was screaming and turning the computer off etc?

How do I manage this please? Really need some top tips!!

I try to catch up with homework on weekends but OH often working or out at own activities or we have a family afternoon out. I feel like I’m the only one who is attempting to push the homework and reading baton.

Help please

Oh wow, what time do you get up?? I get up at 640, kids get up 650-7, have breakfast until 730, getting everyone dressed until 8 and leave for school 810. Don’t think we could fit homework in as well (although DS2 often reads for pleasure). Hats off to you if you can fit homework in, in the mornings :)

@Sarah62 by the time my kids are secondary age, I'd hope I could get the breakfast and dressing out the way by 30 mins at least. I manage to get my two out in 45 mins and they are 1 and 3.

Sorry meant primary! Sounds like something is not quite right if it takes you over an hour to get out the house!

I think I would do push dinner time back a bit. Give them a snack and drink when they get home while they do homework. Screen time when homework done. M

My son - LP so happy not to have to do that as well coming home from work picking him up and domestics waiting - went to a Montessori primary. They only had homework in the last year or two before going on to the next level - grammar, public, secondary school, whatever.

Incidentally, he got into a top university....

Kids learn a LOT through play and interaction with others. Not everything can be taught through books and rigid rules.... in fact, letting kids find their own way while giving them boundaries is the best in my view.

I was not a perfect mother!

@Sarah62 we get up at 5:30, out of the house at 7:20. school starts at 8.
Kids are 4 and 8

5.30! 😳 Screw that.

5.30

Could you perhaps let it slide for the week informing the school you are doing so and getting their teachers to politely ask them why homework isn't being done? Maybe they'll then think shit, we have to do it or we'll get in trouble.

Sometimes when we've a lot on and haven't heard DD read for a few days she'll tell me she has to as her teacher has mentioned it!

The best time I found was Saturday and Sunday mornings straight after breakfast. No screen time on weekends until homework is finished.

We don't do any on the weekdays, except spellings,
I read them out whole cooking for one child, correct it and then do the other.

You have three problems: number one is motivation. Your DC need to be pushed to do the homework. Number two is suitability- some of the homework cannot be done without help. Number three is time/space - you are outnumbered! The first two are actually quite easily solved by putting the responsibility back onto the kids and school. Homework is between them - if it’s not done, school can take it up with DC. If it’s done but not to the required standard because loads of parental help was needed, school need to consider whether the task was appropriate. It’s actually helpful for them to see that DC couldn’t really do it. Ultimately though you do need some availability to at least encourage/answer questions/ listen to them read. I find making the dinner earlier in the day helpful for freeing up time. Alternatively, you could start offering each DC 20 minutes of special 1:1 time before bed during which you practice spellings or read. Put toddler to bed first and then each of you does 1 DC (assuming your DH is home at this point).

I hate homework. There was a glorious period here in Ireland when the schools reopened after lockdown when they didn’t get any homework. There was so much positive feedback on it I really hoped it might be a permanent change. But no.
It adds so much stress to the evenings. And it gets in the way of giving dc enough support in the subjects they need help with because they won’t do anything extra. It makes it harder to juggle extra curricular activities. And play.

It makes me sad that your solution is going to be dropping the time in the park.

We do homework at bedtime. With dd2 (7) it's only a quick 10 min sheet and reading, she's a decent speller so we only have to practise 1x or 2x per week.
Then when she is in the bath I will read to dd1 (10) while she does hers, although to be fair she also does some at after-school club.
I hate homework with a passion. I actually think the structure is good practise for secondary for dd1 but too much volume wise. Reading/times tables/spelling would be more than enough for dd2.

I hate homework. They’ve been in school for 7 hours, why do they have to do more when they should be playing/ relaxing/ seeing friends and family / perhaps the odd chore… you know, good balanced life stuff! I get the importance of learning to sit down yourself at a desk and study something, and I do want them to find that fun. But could easily be achieved with a 15 min task weekly. Not this endless heap of more of the same!
Plus - big moanhere - my 9 year old’s homework very frequently involves something she has to research online. So I having just got her to a place where she can put aside screens and focus, I then have to hand her back a screen??? And then helicopter over her when she could be working independently to make sure she hasn’t drifted back to minecraft? Stress.
We sandwich it between dinner and a bit of downtime before bed, one to three times a week.