Newborn crying a LOT

[Cafeaulait27]

Hi everyone, FTM to very much wanted 3 week old rainbow baby!

Unfortunately he cries a lot - I mean like pretty much all day between feeds some days, luckily we get a bit of respite overnight between 11-8am ish but today he started crying at 6am.

It seems to be a wind/digestion issue, I know all babies tend to strain and go a bit red when digesting but this seems to really upset him and he screams and screams and it’s so hard to hear.

We’re using Colief and trying to burp him as much as possible although he doesn’t burp loads. We tried Dr Browns bottles but he seems to get tired half way through and doesn’t finish his feed so we have up on them for now. I do also have some infacol so may start using that as well from today, as well as buying some comfort milk. We were given some carobel pn prescription to help as one health visitor thought it might be reflux (discussed over the phone). But that made him constipated and he struggled with feeding as it slowed it all down so we had to stop using that too.

We’re really at our wits end, especially in the evenings when the tiredness really kicks in. I think I I may be getting the beginnings of PND. Last night I just couldn’t cope at all and sort of shut down. My husband is very supportive and we split everything, last night he just took over as I just couldn’t do it.

I can’t cope with holding him, changing him, checking he’s comfortable, rocking him, seeing if he wants a bottle etc and none of it working. Plus sleep deprivation. It’s so hard seeing him look like he’s in pain but nothing working to soothe him.

Does anyone have any tips for this, or is it just colic and there’s nothing we can do?

If anyone has any success stories to keep us going or just can tell us that it does get easier that would be great! I can’t do this for months and months on end 😵‍💫

Try a dummy, it worked wonders for us.

Also I should mention the Colief does seem to be helping as he is farting loads which is what it’s supposed to do - but he’s still crying!

I would see if you have a cranial osteopath in the area. Birth is hard work on baby and they can have a sore bit that causes them lots of discomfort. Dd was a different baby after one session!

@Fourmoos thank you! Do you have any recommendations of what type? We did try a dummy but he hated it and spat it out!

@Ostryga thank you, I had a c section so not sure if that will work in my case but not sure? Glad to hear it worked for you x

If breastfeeding cut out dairy to see if milk allergy. Check in with HV. Put a rolled up towel under mattress incase it's silent reflux. Xxx

Hold the dummy in his mouth until he gets used to it. Took a few minutes for my girls. Helped lots with the eldest who had colic.

Check tongue tie and call your infant feeding specialist before your not covered (post 6wks) call midwife as your still under their care a month ago post birth xx

The dr browns bottles are fab but you need to make sure not overtighetening and using the right teat.
My little boy has been on aptamil anti reflux so used a size 3 teat since birth. I think the same is said for carobel as thickens so they need a vari flow teat. The dr browns advice is to use a size 3.
I used gripe water with DS1 who would cry for hours. It's really tough but I promise it's not forever and it will get easier / more enjoyable. Xx

My LO would only have MAM dummies.
Gripe water
Held up 20 mins after feed.
Bicycle legs
Tummy massages

Google silent reflux and check symptoms.

Also Kendamil milk was a game changer for my LO with silent reflux and pains

Thank you everyone. Will try to persevere with the dummy.

With the Dr Browns bottles, do you think it’s ok to go to level 2 teat with milk that isn’t thickened? It’s weird, when he was first born the level 1 teat was too quick for him and he drank too fast and then puked it up, but now it’s kind of the opposite - he seems to like it but then gives up and falls asleep with about half the bottle left, sometimes more.

It’s very hard, I feel like we are barely surviving and struggling to see how we will ever enjoy any of this 😞 and I just want sleep! More than a few hours broken into half hour/pne hour chunks 😭

Hi @Cafeaulait27 we were chatting on the thread about dogs. Just a handhold and hug as it sounds so tough for you all right now. You've had some good advice on here. Might be worth systematically trying to work through some of things. Just to add, please contact your HV for support - they should be helping you with this. And please contact your GP re your own mood, the quicker you get some support the better if it's needed.

How much sleep is he getting during the day? If he's out of the very new newborn phase he will likely need a lot of help from you to get that sleep. Probably can't be awake for more than an hour at a time.
I only write this because my daughter was the same until we realised that her discomfort was tiredness

@MGee123 thank you, it’s even worse with our dog as the constant crying means he can’t really be with us much, we make sure he gets all his walks and usual routine etc but he just sadly can’t be with us in the evenings at the moment 💔

Have tried the health visitor, she said to make sure we’re burping properly and said Colief May work… she also said to contact GP if it continues. Another health visitor said she thought it was reflux so I got a phone appointment with GP and he prescribed the thickener which we gave up on due to the constipation and baby finding it hard to finish a feed with it 😟 it’s really hard because if it’s reflux and constipation, reflux treatment makes that worse! 🤯 thank you, I will contact GP about my mood as I am really not enjoying any of this right now. Even when he is asleep I feel sort of lost and aimless because the next feed is just around the corner! Of course I love him so much though ❤️

@Fantail86 thank you. it depends, he will sleep between feeds if he’s not crying! But if he’s crying inconsolably he’s not getting much sleep, and it seems we only get him to sleep late at night because he’s so tired from all the crying 😢 how did you help your daughter? Xx

I really struggled the first 4-6 weeks and asked for help from my GP who thankfully was great and got me in touch with the local talking therapies service. I felt totally
hopeless and couldn't see a way forwards, it was really bleak at times. As a new mum you will be a priority to be seen if you want to go down that route. I've found it really helpful. Hope you get some support soon. X

These have already been suggested, but it could be dairy intolerance, so you can cut out dairy if breastfeeding or get dairy free formula in prescription. It could also be silent reflux. Also could try a cranial osteopath. Sometimes babies so cry a lot and it's fine but sometimes it's something bothering them, so worth looking in to.

Good luck

Big hugs OP
It's so hard dealing with a crying baby - have you heard of "cry-sis" it's a charity there is a number you can call for support they're really nice

I felt exactly the same as you a much longed for baby - then bam it turned out he was the unhappiest little thing in the world for the first 3 months ! For us after those first 3 months it was like a light bulb moment it seemed he had come out the other side and gradually it then got easier. We never found out why he cried so much as a new born

Definitely speak to your GP as understandably this is really hard - and for me it really did impact on my mood too

Not sure If anyone has said this but it could also be a CMPA (basically cows milk protein allergy). Not sure what milk you use but might be something to consider. Could you try expressing if formula isn't working? My baby didn't get on with formula so we went back go breastfeeding and the crying and bad wind stopped. Also gripe water helped alot! Dont put any thing under mattress to prop baby up as it is unsafe (baby can roll and get stuck) however snuz do do a next to me crib that can be angled for colic relief. Hope you get some rest xx

My baby is 3 weeks and I'm also having the same issues. Baby is in such bad pain we dread feeding him. Started on Kendamil, showed signs of cmpa and silent reflux. At 1 week GP prescribed gaviscon and boiled water as he's constipated all the time too. Did nothing.

Last week switched him to a comfort milk, thought it was working but he's now just as bad.

Have doctors again shortly, he has most symptoms of both cmpa and silent reflux. Have a look online to see if your baby is showing symptoms of either.

I feel your pain. Partner is now sleeping downstairs as the baby is in pain all night groaning and no point us both being knackered.

You need to to give carobel a chance.
You might have used too much. We generally did 1 scoop per 100ml.

After feeding hold baby up for 30 mins. Helps keep everything down and wind to go out

Nhs 111 pediatric advised us towel under mattress is fine @Cafeaulait27

Baby won't roll. They'll only roll if it is NOT a slight incline.

Talk to your GP about medication for reflux - we had infant gaviscon which helped but some babies need something stronger. You can just add it to the bottles. Have they been checked for a tongue tie as that can effect feeding and the digestive system. Agree with what someone else said that you need to give these things a chance to work though. We also used gripe water which gave a bit more of an instant relief x

Thank you all ❤️

@MGee123 thank you, I probably do need to talk to the GP about myself too. I’ve been depressed before and didn’t find the time to talk stuff very helpful, but maybe this time it will be. did things get better for you mood wise? It’s such a huge life adjustment, and with the colicky issues it just adds to the sad feelings.

@mumofbun thank you, we will try and see if we can get baby gaviscon. First the GP put us on thickener but it didn’t seem to help, but this comfort milk is a bit thicker so hopefully it’ll help. If no improvement will ask for the gaviscon, thanks x