Newborn crying a LOT

[Cafeaulait27]

Hi everyone, FTM to very much wanted 3 week old rainbow baby!

Unfortunately he cries a lot - I mean like pretty much all day between feeds some days, luckily we get a bit of respite overnight between 11-8am ish but today he started crying at 6am.

It seems to be a wind/digestion issue, I know all babies tend to strain and go a bit red when digesting but this seems to really upset him and he screams and screams and it’s so hard to hear.

We’re using Colief and trying to burp him as much as possible although he doesn’t burp loads. We tried Dr Browns bottles but he seems to get tired half way through and doesn’t finish his feed so we have up on them for now. I do also have some infacol so may start using that as well from today, as well as buying some comfort milk. We were given some carobel pn prescription to help as one health visitor thought it might be reflux (discussed over the phone). But that made him constipated and he struggled with feeding as it slowed it all down so we had to stop using that too.

We’re really at our wits end, especially in the evenings when the tiredness really kicks in. I think I I may be getting the beginnings of PND. Last night I just couldn’t cope at all and sort of shut down. My husband is very supportive and we split everything, last night he just took over as I just couldn’t do it.

I can’t cope with holding him, changing him, checking he’s comfortable, rocking him, seeing if he wants a bottle etc and none of it working. Plus sleep deprivation. It’s so hard seeing him look like he’s in pain but nothing working to soothe him.

Does anyone have any tips for this, or is it just colic and there’s nothing we can do?

If anyone has any success stories to keep us going or just can tell us that it does get easier that would be great! I can’t do this for months and months on end 😵‍💫

Ours was the same, cried constantly for first 4 weeks pretty much and most of the 4 weeks after. Big improvements every 4 weeks and by 12 weeks I remember feeling a lot more settled and so was he.

Have you heard of Frida Baby Windi’s? I think they sell them at boots now if you’re in the UK, they’re basically a little tiny stick up the bum and it makes alllll the trapped wind and poo come out, the thought of doing it was awful but they don’t hurt and the relief it gave my baby was phenomenal. The reviews speak for themselves.

My baby cried that much I couldn’t believe it was normal but apart from a bit of silent reflux there was actually nothing wrong with him, he was just an incredibly tough newborn. Things will get better. Try a sling if you haven’t already, get food treats for you. Bounce gently on an exercise ball with baby in your arms (or sling). Love to Dream swaddle. Bicycle legs. Tag team everything you can and know that even if you did nothing time will sort everything out. x

It will get better. Definitely worth exploring medical avenues but for some babies a medical cause is never identified and the only thing that helps is time. My DD was like this and nothing helped and no medical cause was found. She didn't cry much on a night either and was a good sleeper overnight - but didn't sleep anywhere near enough in the day. I think with hindsight exhaustion probably was a big factor in her crying and then she was so tired from the screaming shed sleep well overnight to recover...ready for another day of it. It was so, so hard and I did get PND. It gradually got better as she got older, we found that she was generally not quite as bad if we were out and about as well so we tried to be out the house a lot which helped her and also our mental health. If I'm honest I didn't start to really see significant improvement in her and my mental health until I went back to work when she was 9m. She started nursery then too, I dunno if the had anything to do with it too but she settled in quickly there.

Have you got a birthing ball? If not get one! Hold your baby close to you or put baby in a sling and bounce on the ball. It works wonders and settles them quite easily. It helps them get wind up too. This saved my sanity when DS was about 3 weeks old. It really helps them get to sleep so much so, we used it to put him down for naps for months 🤣

Is he more comfortable when in an upright position?

Have you considered trying a sling, we had a moby then a woven wrap and I'd attach DD and just carry her about wherever I was, she was much more content as had the comfort from being close to me while also being upright.

When I needed her to be out of the sling I used a bouncer chair that had a vibrate setting which she loved. We went through a period at about 4/5 weeks where she gave up on sleep at night, I was broken and decided 'to hell' with safety advice about 30 minutes max period and put her in the bouncer. She slept for 5 hrs straight and I regained a small amount of my sanity.

This sounds like my son when he was a baby.
It ended up being a daily allergy. He was given prescription formula (Nutramigen).
He was a completely different baby afterwards.
My nephew had the same thing. It's not that rare.

@Huggybear16 how long did it take for the milk to work? I've switched my baby today to aptamil pepti

@Cafeaulait27 re sleep, I clock watched so once she had been awake for about 45 minutes I clock watched and helped her to go to sleep, bouncing, rocking.. anything lol.

I noticed a difference after the first day or two. He was great by about day 10-14.

And I meant dairy, not daily, although hopefully you got that by context.

@Huggybear16 thanks it did! Have given him second feed of the new milk, I might add the gaviscon into the next feed as I think the thinness of the milk is making his reflux worse. But wanted to avoid gaviscon as he's constipated as it is 😭 literally at breaking point

I used MAM bottles and MAM pacifiers, they were fabulous. Gripe water and lots of bouncing around. I remember it OP, it is bloody hard but one day soon there will be a turning point and things will get easier.

The first 6 weeks are just survival. Lots of great tips here. Big hugs though OP. You’re doing great. Look after yourself.

Like others have said, cows milk protein/soy allergy is a possibility.
My son was like this until I've cut out all of his triggers (and that meant I ate potatoes, chicken and asparagus for 4 months, because of breastfeeding). For a true CMPA you'll need the prescription formula, not over the counter aptamil comfort etc. It's really not that rare and GPs/HVs are terrible at diagnosing it, so if you look up symptoms and feel like it fits your baby, make sure you push for the formula.
Hugs and good luck!

@KL92xxxx

Ours was the same, cried constantly for first 4 weeks pretty much and most of the 4 weeks after. Big improvements every 4 weeks and by 12 weeks I remember feeling a lot more settled and so was he.

Have you heard of Frida Baby Windi’s? I think they sell them at boots now if you’re in the UK, they’re basically a little tiny stick up the bum and it makes alllll the trapped wind and poo come out, the thought of doing it was awful but they don’t hurt and the relief it gave my baby was phenomenal. The reviews speak for themselves.

My baby cried that much I couldn’t believe it was normal but apart from a bit of silent reflux there was actually nothing wrong with him, he was just an incredibly tough newborn. Things will get better. Try a sling if you haven’t already, get food treats for you. Bounce gently on an exercise ball with baby in your arms (or sling). Love to Dream swaddle. Bicycle legs. Tag team everything you can and know that even if you did nothing time will sort everything out. x

Completely agree with this about the time thing. I think I worried myself sick over what it could be and tried this that and the other some of which may have helped or not but it was just time for us.

I often went through a cycle of things until something worked (though sometimes only briefly!):
-feed
-nappy change / and kicking without nappy on nappy mat
-birthing ball (this worked like a dream sometimes to settle little one bouncing on the ball, along with white noise

• have you tried any white noise? You can get apps or things like hair dryer, washing machine

-bath -walk outside / fresh air -holding and rocking (a v particular rocking motion seemed to help my little one!!) making sh sh sh noises -dark room -change of scene to another room

The other thing that is nice to try is baby massage - you can do certain colic routines - my little one didn't really enjoy this either but I quite enjoyed it and it helped our bond

As others have said it could be a cows milk allergy which can then cause the reflux.
The osteopath can still help if you've had a c-section if you wanted to give it a try.

Another thing to check is if he has a tongue tie? Especially if he's getting tired and falling asleep whilst feeding. It can be hard work for them to latch on to the boob or bottle so it exhausts them and also means they take in more air and can cause the reflux and excess wind.

My lo had all three so I know how hard it is when they cry constantly and you don't know how to help them but I'm sure you're doing an amazing job!

From my own experience here with two babies that cried a lot my guess would be CMPI, cows milk protein intolerance. Symptoms of this include constipation, reflux/silent reflux, sore skin, trapped wind and general discomfort. A baby with CMPI will cry because they're constantly uncomfortable. I'd call your gp and ask for nutramigen on prescription. This is a gentle formula that has the proteins really broken down so your baby can digest them better. I've been told as well, although it could be wrong info, by my DC's dietician that carobel can't cause constipation. Hope this helps. I know how it is. My two were like different babies once they were moved onto prescribed formula and properly medicated for their reflux.

@Myusernameisunique do you know if carobel can help with the silent reflux?

Thank you so much guys for your advice and support.

My HV doesn’t think it’s CMPI as he does keep most feeds down, is gaining weight normally and doesn’t have any skin rashes. However I’ve started him on comfort milk since yesterday morning and infacol.

He seems to be much better but it’s only been a day! He still occasionally cries when windy but when we hold him he stops - which is a breakthrough in itself because it used to be that he was inconsolable, no amount of holding would make him stop.

Thank you so much for all the soothing suggestions, we will definitely try them. And thank you for the pep talk and words of encouragement- this is bloody hard and it’s really difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel 3 weeks in with a baby that cries a lot. I had the lowest day of my life yesterday, felt like I was trapped in a never ending nightmare. I was so tired I was nearly falling over. But that evening he was so chilled and I had him on my chest, we ate dinner together as a couple and then watched tv in peace, and I felt really happy. He wasn’t too bad overnight either. So it just shows how moods can go up and down so drastically from moment to moment. It’s hard to know whether how I’m feeling is just normal (as it’s a very challenging time) or if it’s PND.

Fingers crossed this is a turning point with his crying but I don’t want to speak too soon! Will keep you updated x

So glad to hear you had a better night ☺️

Re. The CMPA my lo never lost any weight or was sick but his allergy causes him stomach cramps and silent reflux. Just something to keep in mind if he's unsettled again. I have my fingers crossed the comfort milk does the trick though ☺️

Aww so glad you had abit of a better day

Every day is different and good to take it day by day at the moment - it's still so early and you can just keep an eye on how you're feeling and keep talking to family / friends / us as much as you need to you're doing so well x

@jessicakxx it's a thickener so doesn't help with the acid, just thickens their feed to make it easier to keep down. From my experience ranitidine and omeprazole were the best for the acid part of the reflux.

Hi @Cafeaulait27, I posted a few days ago about my 8 week old with similar issues, just wanted to say you aren't alone! It's awful isn't it, I've really been struggling to cope and have never cried so much in my life. We unfortunately have tried most of our options to help, but are trying a prescription formula that's amino acid based (neocate) tonight to see if it helps. I'm breastfeeding but HV said give one or two bottles a day to see if there is a difference. Also on the advice of our lactation consultant we give him a dummy after every feed. He will only take the MAM start soother x

My little one was exactly the same , I want to say it gets easier but what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another.
Here's what I did that helped a little.

• find a good doctor who understands what you're going through. (I went through 2 before I finally found a good one)
• my little one has silent reflux and she's on tablets & Aptimil reflux milk MAM bottle teet 2 with 2 holes added in to make it easier for her to drink
• try MAM dummies and keep persisting with it
• get him used to the pram so you can go around the block for a walk. It will do you both the world of good
• take time for yourself and ask for help from family , friends and the HV we've all reached a point where we need a hour to ourselves and there nothing wrong with that! Don't feel guilty.

ALL BABIES CRY SO DONT WORRY WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. Last but not least

YOURE DOING A AMAZING JOB SO HE PROUD OF YOURSELF. It's hard but you'll get through it.

Mine did this and it was a dairy allergy. It was horrendous, I feel for you OP

Also she was quite podgy and no skin rashes .