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Original poster

Baby hates car - experience / tips

27 replies

R1cciteddy · 31/10/2021 20:09

Hi! I had a colicky baby who hated everything. She's now a happy baby at 12 weeks, hurrah!

However, she still hates the car and cries hysterically. I have to stop and cuddle her to calm her and she'll be covered in sweat and will be very upset

I avoid car journeys where possible. My parents are a two hour drive away and I'd love to be able to drive there but it's just not possible unless someone is in the back with her

Hopefully it's just a phase

Any experience or ideas? I attach her favourite toy to her car seat but after 10 mins or so she's bored of it and the crying starts. I make sure she's fed etc... but I guess she could be tired (she fights sleep and won't sleep in the car or pram!)

She doesn't mind the car seat, it's just being in the car. Even if my partner drives and I'm in the back she'll most likely scream

Thanks in advance!

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AliceW89 · 31/10/2021 20:27

Poor you. It’s so hard when they are like that in the car. DS was exactly the same. Honestly, while she is still so tiny, my main advice would be limit long car journeys where you can could you get to your parents on the train? In between lockdowns I used the train a fair bit - sadly with the car the only fixer was time. When DS was firmly on two naps (about 7 or so months) he’d happily sleep in the car. Then, at about 13 months he’d tolerate going in awake with CBeebies playing on my phone.

Moonshine11 · 31/10/2021 20:37

Mine also went through a stage.
I used to have to sing nursery rhymes then resulted in playing them through the car as I got sick 😂

stalkersaga · 31/10/2021 20:39

They will grow out of it. Just do whatever helps until then.

I used to sing nursery rhymes very loudly. Mostly to drown out the crying. Or crank up Classic FM on the grounds that it might soothe one of us. Baby simply grew out of it well before 1.

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SkankingMopoke · 31/10/2021 21:04

I put the baby in the front and turned off the air bags. Not ideal, but needs must: not only was it awful for them screaming in the back, but it's incredibly distracting and therefore unsafe for you as the driver too. They were happier when they could see me, and it also meant I could pop lost dummies back in (when safe to do so). It wasn't a complete fix, but it helped until they eventually outgrew it.

Original poster

R1cciteddy · 01/11/2021 13:14

Thanks everyone will just have to stick it out and see how it goes. Luckily for me I can walk to a lot of places... but she doesn't love the pushchair either. Thank god for the sling! Just hope it irons out soon as I'd love to take frequent drives to grandma and granddad!

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Lavender2021 · 01/11/2021 13:37

My daughter hated her infant car seat and was much happier when we brought a new seat. I went from a cybex cloud z to a Axkid ONE and the difference was amazing! At 12 week's your opinions for a different seat are limited due to her size.

Original poster

R1cciteddy · 11/11/2021 21:45

Just thought I'd bump this to see if anyone has any other ideas

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samwitwicky · 11/11/2021 21:48

What do you dress her in when in the car seat and is the seat quite cosy / enclosed?

My DS hated his first car seat and would scream and get sweaty.

We changed his car seat so he had more room / air around him, and dressed him in less clothes.

First time in new car seat he did a 2 hour motorway journey, no issues whatsoever

jusdepamplemousse · 11/11/2021 21:48

All three of mine were exactly like this and all vastly, vastly improved once out of infant car seat thing and into a bigger fixed in the car seat. Think being higher up / more room helps. A dummy also helps.

Bryna · 11/11/2021 21:55

My middle one was like this and as she grew older (and she was able to talk) we found her to suffer from travel sickness, (which with hindsight is probably what all the crying was about!)
In contrast the eldest loved the car and would fall asleep within minutes setting off.
The only thing that worked for us was timing longer journeys with naptimes, where possible, if she was asleep when she went into the car seat, there was no problem!

If she was older (and knowing that my DD's problem was travel sickness) I might be tempted to try sea bands

Mrsmch123 · 11/11/2021 23:08

My little guy has silent reflux, hated the car seat like yours. Did the whole sweaty, screaming almost sick affair. I limited the car journeys because it just wasn't worth it. Then when he got to 4 months he just stopped screaming🤷🏻‍♀️He even cracks a smile every now and then. Still not super keen when the car stops but not hysterical now. I know it's not helpful just now but hopefully means there is light at the end of the tunnel. I do pull the hood of the car seat so he can see out.
It's horrible when they are like that😢

ChicCroissant · 11/11/2021 23:52

TBH, my DD was like this until she was forward facing and tall enough to see out of the window! I used to sit in the back with her on journeys, the crying can be hard to cope with so you have my sympathy there.

needabreak5 · 12/11/2021 00:10

DC2 was like this. It's really distracting and so I limited driving in the early months. My only solution was to forward face at the earliest possible which solved it straight away.

mellicauli · 12/11/2021 00:19

Could you travel at night?

squirrelnutkins1 · 12/11/2021 00:23

I used to put white noise on quite loud

Sarahbb1234 · 12/11/2021 01:15

My baby girl also hates the car when she was very young. The song “The happy song by Imogen heap” saved me, on repeat... !!! Also made sure we only went int the car during awake windows because she wouldn’t know how to fall aslee in the car without being rocked to sleep. As they get older and are awake for longer it gets better....

DriftingBlue · 12/11/2021 04:55

If you get 10 minutes before the screaming starts, that is actually really good. With time, that may improve. With Dd it was instantaneous and it was so intense I worried about her breathing. Since we lived somewhere that absolutely nothing could be reached without a car, my world got very small.

Some things that helped if we had to go in the car.

Get rid of the baby bucket if you are using one. As soon as we switched to a convertible seat things improved. Things were still awful, but there was something about the infant seat that just did not work for her.
Have someone sit in back
Keep talking. Make sure she can hear your voice. So just keep talking about something.

Snorkello · 12/11/2021 05:08

Mine was the same until big enough for a forward facing seat. Even now he will cry unless given lots of snacks and drinks. Hoping it will get better as he gets older, but we don’t do long journeys for this reason!

Time any long journey with a nap. Or get family to visit you.

If yours is anything like mine, it’s just a matter of getting better as they grow. Sucks, though!

Etherealhedgehog · 12/11/2021 05:43

Ours was like this. She eventually just grew out of it. This was all during pandemic times so we didn't have any journeys longer than an hour to do but what we did to survive was - someone traveled in the back with her, we didn't bother stopping to comfort her - we knew she'd just start up again when we started driving again so this was just prolonging the misery - better to get there faster, ideally with someone in the back to reassure her. Presumably you have one of those mirrors so she can see you? We were lucky in that she would eventually scream herself to sleep. Baby sensory videos (we loved Hey Bear) on a phone would distract her. We now have a case so we can suspend the iPad over the headrest just out of her reach and have cartoons playing on long journeys - might be worth trying something like that if you have a tablet, so you can travel without one of you in the back

Etherealhedgehog · 12/11/2021 05:44

Also, yep, we always time long journeys so she's due a nap at the start

ChateauMargaux · 12/11/2021 07:16

White noise, darkness and we had a lie flat car seat with a safety cover to reduce the light. I would put her to sleep in the dark in her own room with the noise on, in her carry cot and then transport her to the car when she was asleep and then pray that she didn't wake before we arrived at our destination.

Original poster

R1cciteddy · 12/11/2021 10:32

I'm so happy, she fell asleep in the car today and barely cried. And she'd just had her jabs 😀 I have a feeling she just doesn't like being away from me and just needs to get used to it... I'll start doing short trips I think to get her used to it

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Etherealhedgehog · 12/11/2021 11:12

@R1cciteddy that's great! If you don't have a mirror for her to see you, definitely get one. DD is much better in the car now but got quite upset on holiday because we forgot to bring ours for the hire car - I think it does make a big difference

Original poster

R1cciteddy · 12/11/2021 12:52

@Etherealhedgehog great thanks... we have one but I think I need to change how it's angled. Will give it a go, thanks 😊

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Gingham17 · 04/08/2024 00:13

@R1cciteddy hello! Did this improve? My DD is 4 months old and screams in the car seat most of the time. We have a staycation coming up next month which is 2.5hrs away and I’m dreading the drive! X

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