Asking parents to leave their children at party (Age 5/6)

[charlottelouise992]

Hello!

It's my daughters 6th birthday next month and she wants to have a party. I would prefer to do a small party at home to keep costs down. My mum is a cake maker so I thought it would be fun to do cupcake decorating and general party games and singing/dancing for 8-10 children.

Because they all started school in covid times I don't know any of the parents on a personal level and wondered if it's appropriate to ask them to drop off their children and not stay? (There wouldn't be enough room)

All the children would be 5/6 (Year 1)
Me and my partner both have a current DBS because we're on the committee of our daughters previous nursery. Should I mention that or would it be weird? haha.

Thanks,
Charlotte.

No need to mention your DBS. I’d just say drop off: 2pm. Pick up: 4pm on the invitation to make it clear you don’t expect parents to stay.

@Rainbowqueeen

No need to mention your DBS. I’d just say drop off: 2pm. Pick up: 4pm on the invitation to make it clear you don’t expect parents to stay.

Thankyou! That makes sense. I thought the mention of the DBS was a bit ridiculous but this is where my overthinking brain takes me haha.

@Rainbowqueeen

No need to mention your DBS. I’d just say drop off: 2pm. Pick up: 4pm on the invitation to make it clear you don’t expect parents to stay.

This

I would expect that a couple may ask to stay. My DD would have been happy to be left, but my DS wanted me to stay until at least Year 4.

That's my kind of party. Can't be arsed with staying 😂😂

We did this party last year - I also bought kids aprons and fabric pens and they decorated their own apron. They all went home with cupcakes and aprons instead of party bags.

Just say drop off and pick up on the invite, but expect one or two parents might want to stay if their DC are more nervous.

I wouldn't drop my 9 year old to a house that I hadn't been to and didn't know the adults in charge, never mind a 5 or 6 year old. There will be some that will be fine but I would be staying.

@HelloDulling

I would expect that a couple may ask to stay. My DD would have been happy to be left, but my DS wanted me to stay until at least Year 4.

Thanks, this is helpful. If it's only a couple (which I assume it probably would be) it would be fine for them to stay.

@ParkheadParadise

That's my kind of party. Can't be arsed with staying 😂😂

This is the attitude I'm hoping most of the parents have! haha.

@LastToBePicked

We did this party last year - I also bought kids aprons and fabric pens and they decorated their own apron. They all went home with cupcakes and aprons instead of party bags.

Just say drop off and pick up on the invite, but expect one or two parents might want to stay if their DC are more nervous.

Thanks for the reply. I think you're right. I'm definitely okay with a couple staying but we live in a terraced house with limited space so hopefully it's just a couple.

I did optional drop off for my 5yo and most stayed at least some of the time. Which was fine as it was summer. In your situation and no space then I think be clear its a drop off party like the text above. They can decline. But possibly at that age its better to have less kids and space for adults. Especially if they don't know you.

@hauntedvagina

I wouldn't drop my 9 year old to a house that I hadn't been to and didn't know the adults in charge, never mind a 5 or 6 year old. There will be some that will be fine but I would be staying.

Thanks for the reply. This is exactly why I asked this question here because I'm quite nervous when it comes to my little one because of my anxiety. I'd definitely be okay with letting parents stay if they or their little ones felt uneasy because i wouldn't want their children to feel left out.

If people are too anxious to leave their child then I'd rather they didn't bother coming. If it's the child that's anxious or has special needs then fine.

Don't forget these kids have also not been used to parties because of lockdown. some may not want to be left...

Personally I think drop off only from y2, but you can offer the opportunity...

When dd1 was young, 20+ years ago I would send her to the party on her own. I don't remember ever being asked to stay or know exactly where the party was.
With Dd2 (5) the parents around here ask you to come with her to play after school😂😂😂

Make it clear you only want the children at the party and leave it to other parents to decide if they are comfortable with that or not.
I wouldn't leave our kids that young with parents I didn't know very well.

I think at that age its pretty normal to drop and leave. My son is in year 2 and thats how all of his birthday parties are going atm. Would probably have been the case last year but....covid.

Thanks for the replies, it has been useful hearing different perspectives.
We have a month until her birthday so I guess I'll have to get asking parents in the playground if they would be happy to just do drop off. I think the kids themselves will be fine - they are all so chatty and out-going.

"hauntedvagina

I wouldn't drop my 9 year old to a house that I hadn't been to and didn't know the adults in charge, never mind a 5 or 6 year old. There will be some that will be fine but I would be staying."

Very curious but assume your 9 year old does go places alone and isn't constantly supervised like on way to school etc. Isn't your child able to make judgement on their safety? I'm very curious considering yes you light not know the parents but a child in the same class? How do you get to age 9 and 4/5 years at school without parents paths having crossed at least once or twice? A 9 year old doesn't invite random kids to a party from school do they? Well at least my 8 year old doesn't.

To answer the OP I think it is totally fine to say no parents to stay. Of course a few might want to if the kids aren't happy but we've had drop off parties since age 4. No issues

Would be unusual not to have about half stay here tbh. Many children locally aren't used to being away from home and I stayed at all infant school parties as my children wanted me to!

I would leave my daughter and have done ( y1) but still not comfortable about leaving my son y3. So guess it depends on the parents and children invited. A couple might ask to stay,

I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my five year old for a couple of hours if I didn’t know you. If I did it would be different but I don’t think it’s unusually anxious not to want to leave a five year old with strangers. I also think many kids of that age wouldn’t be comfortable either. Personally I think at that age you should organise a party that gives people the option.

Also, if you actually specified that no parents were to stay I would feel extremely uncomfortable because in my mind, any parent with good judgement would know that won’t work for all families at this age. And if I had cause to question the judgement of the parents then i would be even less comfortable leaving my child unattended. I wouldn’t warm to any parent that instructed me to leave my five year old with them unattended.

@MayorGoodwaysChicken

Also, if you actually specified that no parents were to stay I would feel extremely uncomfortable because in my mind, any parent with good judgement would know that won’t work for all families at this age. And if I had cause to question the judgement of the parents then i would be even less comfortable leaving my child unattended. I wouldn’t warm to any parent that instructed me to leave my five year old with them unattended.

I wouldn't tell parents they couldn't stay, I'm not an idiot.. I think you're reading a little too much into the question