Asking parents to leave their children at party (Age 5/6)

[charlottelouise992]

Hello!

It's my daughters 6th birthday next month and she wants to have a party. I would prefer to do a small party at home to keep costs down. My mum is a cake maker so I thought it would be fun to do cupcake decorating and general party games and singing/dancing for 8-10 children.

Because they all started school in covid times I don't know any of the parents on a personal level and wondered if it's appropriate to ask them to drop off their children and not stay? (There wouldn't be enough room)

All the children would be 5/6 (Year 1)
Me and my partner both have a current DBS because we're on the committee of our daughters previous nursery. Should I mention that or would it be weird? haha.

Thanks,
Charlotte.

Yeah personally I wouldn’t leave my Y1 child with a family I didn’t know. I’m not a particularly anxious parent.

It did look like you were saying that. Why else would you be keen to tell them you're dbs hecked etc...

Um OP you literally said in your post:

Because they all started school in covid times I don't know any of the parents on a personal level and wondered if it's appropriate to ask them to drop off their children and not stay?

So I’m not sure how me interpreting that as you potentially telling people not to stay is worthy of the snarky reply!

@PinkCricket

It did look like you were saying that. Why else would you be keen to tell them you're dbs hecked etc...

Because I'm an over thinker.. I knew that sounded stupid but I know parents might worry like I do. Like others said some would be fine, some wouldn't. I'd go on what my child felt comfortable with.

Also I never implied I was keen to tell them that, I was questioning myself.

It’s definitely trickier for Y1s because they missed the normal round of all-class reception parties where parents typically stay and get to know each other a bit, and children get the opportunity to develop more confidence being at parties etc.

A friend of mine did an at-home party for her Y1 with option to drop off (about 5-6 kids in total) - I think a couple of parents dropped at the door, a couple stayed for a few mins while their DC got settled and one stayed for duration.

In normal times it’s generally more common here to give parents option to stay and offer nibbles and Prosecco! Parents do often stay in this case!

My DS has food allergies and an EpiPen, so until he is at least 7/8 unless the parents are completely comfortable with it, I wouldn't be ok to drop him off

@MayorGoodwaysChicken

Um OP you literally said in your post:

Because they all started school in covid times I don't know any of the parents on a personal level and wondered if it's appropriate to ask them to drop off their children and not stay?

So I’m not sure how me interpreting that as you potentially telling people not to stay is worthy of the snarky reply!

I guess we each take comments differently as your reply insinuated I don't care about other parents feelings.

Yes I said I didn't know whether it was appropriate, hence why I asked on here.. I didn't say I wanted to tell the parents not to stay, goodness me.

@MattyGroves

My DS has food allergies and an EpiPen, so until he is at least 7/8 unless the parents are completely comfortable with it, I wouldn't be ok to drop him off

Yes I think this is best for all involved.

@Rainbowqueeen

No need to mention your DBS. I’d just say drop off: 2pm. Pick up: 4pm on the invitation to make it clear you don’t expect parents to stay.

I agree with this.

TBH once mine started school (5) all parties were drop offs without parents staying.

Normal to drop and pick up at that age.

I wouldn’t have a problem with it OP.
I have hosted lots of kids parties over the years and one thing I would suggest is to make it an hour and half, not 2. Only a friendly offering though, you might think otherwise!

@Puffinhead

I wouldn’t have a problem with it OP. I have hosted lots of kids parties over the years and one thing I would suggest is to make it an hour and half, not 2. Only a friendly offering though, you might think otherwise!

Thanks :) Never done a party before but wanted to do something other than soft play so 1.5 hours probably will be enough.

You’ll have a great time with the cake decorating and party games. I found that not many people had home parties (mostly soft play like you said).

You can’t beat pass the parcel - I did it so that everyone got a turn opening a layer and got a small sweet. Musical statues also good, you can’t the beat the classics! Have fun

NRTFT

Look at it this way, would you be happy to leave your 5/6yo child in a house you had never been in with with complete strangers?

I’d say parents are welcome to drop off or stay.

We had a party for my 4yo recently, I’d only ever met one parent as she works at the nursery my dd goes to. The other parents (dads) were happy to drop at the door but I still invited them in so they could see where their children would be and who with. Two mums stayed to chat for a few mins before leaving after they felt comfortable.

I would want to have a look around and meet the adults who will be at the party before I felt comfortable leaving.

@AliceMcK

NRTFT

Look at it this way, would you be happy to leave your 5/6yo child in a house you had never been in with with complete strangers?

I’d say parents are welcome to drop off or stay.

We had a party for my 4yo recently, I’d only ever met one parent as she works at the nursery my dd goes to. The other parents (dads) were happy to drop at the door but I still invited them in so they could see where their children would be and who with. Two mums stayed to chat for a few mins before leaving after they felt comfortable.

I would want to have a look around and meet the adults who will be at the party before I felt comfortable leaving.

Thanks for your reply, that's a good way to look at it. To be honest I just wanted some other opinions because I'm quite nervous about leaving my little one but I know not all parents are like me haha.

I was thinking of inviting them in and showing them around and speaking about what we will be doing to put the kids/parents at ease.

I've already spoken to most of the parents before and luckily she's only given me names of 6 people she wants to come so it's looking like it will be easier to navigate than I originally thought! Also this is just going to be a school thing so the kids all know each other.

@ParkheadParadise

That's my kind of party. Can't be arsed with staying 😂😂

Right!?!? I love drop and go parties 🥳

My ds is Y1 OP, and I'd happily leave him 😁

I guarantee the majority of parents will absolutely love you.

Put drop off at X pick up at Y.

My friend did this for her daughter’s November birthday in reception (pre Covid). Whole class invited, drop off and pick up times made clear on invite. All but two parents were happy with this, so those two stayed (and hovered round their poor kids who were clearly just wanting to play with their friends!).

However, my friend worked as an HLTA at her child’s school, so I don’t know if this made parents more comfortable about leaving their kids. Most seemed delighted though, I have to say, and sped off to enjoy some free time!

@Rainbowqueeen

No need to mention your DBS. I’d just say drop off: 2pm. Pick up: 4pm on the invitation to make it clear you don’t expect parents to stay.

This ^

If a parent then contacted me and let me know their dc had additional needs, then I'd be very welcoming to them staying.

If I received an invitation for one of my dc (at that age) I'd consider it to be very normal and be glad my dc had made friends with other dc whose parents were happy to host friends and not need friends' parents hanging about.

@hauntedvagina

I wouldn't drop my 9 year old to a house that I hadn't been to and didn't know the adults in charge, never mind a 5 or 6 year old. There will be some that will be fine but I would be staying.

9 seems a bit old to still think like that, to be frank.

We gave everyone an option. Welcome to drop off and leave or stay. We got a mixture, but most dropped and left.