16 month old - how do you get anything done?

[AmITheProblem87]

Hi guys,

I have a DD who is now 16 months old and I’m just wondering how everyone gets anything done around the house?

I’ve noticed that my toddler just seems to whinge, moan and cry any time I try to do something (sometimes just to make a cup of tea!) but as soon as I’m sat back on the sofa she stops. It’s so, so draining and maybe I’m just really naive thinking parenting was going to be much easier than I’m finding it 🙈🙈🙈 I play with my DD and shower her in attention and affection but sometimes I really need to do stuff around the house but the mega meltdowns every time is just becoming unbearable to the point where I just won’t do stuff :(

Is this a phase? Or am I doing something without really seeing it?

Oh and just to mention my house is open plus and really not the biggest so where I am in the front room/kitchen DD can easily see me.

Thanks

Placemarking because I’m a few months ahead and still have no idea!

Intensive housework gets done after bedtime. Hoovering is entertaining. I give the kitchen a cursory wipe down when mine is still in the highchair after meals. I save the deep cleans for the days when I have the house to myself, sadly.

I don’t think you do if they are like that. Ds is 17 months. He’s full on from the second he wakes up until bedtime. With an occasional afternoon nap.

6am-8/9pm he’s like tigger. All over the place.

Screams until he’s sick or holds his breath if I dare leave him safely in cot or behind baby gate for 30seconds. Climbs everything. Opens everything. Throws everything.

Tried to pee earlier, he came in toilet with me as screamed being outside door, proceeded to pull half a toilet roll apart like some demon andrex puppy, waving toilet brush around like a lightsaber. Escaped bathroom, climbed on dining table and oranges hurled from fruit bowl all within seconds

DD1 was a champion at this. I’d give her a cloth or something and she’d ‘copy’ whatever I was doing. I knew she understood me, so when she whinged I’d say ‘oh dear, you can help Mummy or you can go and play with your blocks/crayons/kitchens’ in a really cheery, happy voice and stop for a kiss/cuddle every couple of minutes. She was starting to give up her nap at this point, and it was in the middle of lockdown 1 so once we got online learning up and running (I’m a primary teacher) so she needed to get more independent quickly, poor girl.

Putting Bing on loop helped too.

Oh god I’ve a very needy 7 month old and I was thinking it might get better soon that I could get more done - but now I’m not so sure hahah 🙈🙈

I think it sounds like a temperament thing. I can get housework done fairly easily with DD around (20m) - she ‘helps’ or plays while I work. I often have to do it in little bursts - so I’ll hang a wash out and then we play a bit, or go out, and then I’ll do something else. But I am able to keep on top of it when I’m home with her. I am certain it’s because of her nature rather than anything wonderful I do. One thing I do find that helps (from about 18m) is explaining what is happening, and telling her what we will do next if she’s starting to get aggy. Even if your DD doesn’t seem to understand it now it’s a good habit to be in for when she does.

At that age nap time was the only time I could get some jobs done

I agree with PP - in my (quite limited!) experience it’s very child dependent. At that age, my oldest DN would happily just sit and play or watch while my SIL cracked on. Still will now. Her younger DC would just try and throw themselves off the furniture or the stairs and scream to be in her arms. My DC is more like yours and demands my attention on what they are doing and gets very angry if I try and do something else 😬 so yes, for both of us now it’s naps, nighttime and weekends!

I would really recommend one of these chairs

direct.asda.com/george/baby/baby-feeding/highchairs-booster-seats/chicco-booster-seat-chairy-bunny/050068902,default,pd.html?cmpid=ppc--ad-------_-dskwid-s92700066759943558_dm&gclid=Cj0KCQjwnoqLBhD4ARIsAL5JedJH0WLT-ZzbwOcfGl58oGUXRz571LfQ2V7h8Um2mkCJCAzdD60GPnQaAou8EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Much smaller than a highchair so can be moved from place to place as you do the housework. I pop DD in it with some crayons (hint: if they draw on the tray it wipes off!), or some other toys, and chat to her and show her things as I go. For example if I’m cooking I’ll give her a spatula, or if I’m cleaning give her a duster to hold etc.

But yeah, it’s a test of patience overall!

Mine was like that. I was just about able to leave him for long enough to get something done quickly at about 2.5. Otherwise... TV 🤷

When mine is having one of those days I put him in the sling and we sing and dance as we do whatever job it is.

I also get him to help, things like putting the washing in the machine or sweeping. Takes waaay longer but gets the job done and entertains them in the process.

I’m amazed (read: highly jealous) by all these 16 month olds who will tolerate being strapped into things 🙈

I have honestly never understood the parents who say 'Oh I just get him to help'. If I'd got on with jobs and left mine to 'help' he'd have been posting things out of the cat flap, emptying the freezer, trying to climb in the bin... He's like a whirlwind of destruction.

@AliceW89 - same. We have highchair, added extra harness as he could get out. Now he just opens the harness clip himself, and would just climb out if I’m not right next to him. Stair gates, ha, he just climbs over those like they don’t exist.

@whatswithtodaytoday it requires a lot of active supervision for my little one. I literally have to crouch down next to him whilst he puts each bit of washing in the machine one by one for example. Definitely can't just get on at a normal speed whilst he entertains himself with a cloth. It takes 15 minutes sometimes to empty the machine and put another load on, but he likes the posting and pulling and at least that way it gets done.

Play pen! They can still see you and they're not going to hurt themselves if left unattended whilst you pop to the toilet.

@squee123 that’s mega impressive! I’m not sure my DS has ever done one activity solidly for 15 minutes in his life 🙈 (and he’s older!!)

All of the above.

It’s getting better in some ways as he’s able to I’d errand more every day (18mo) but we have a cleaner and I have a husband who does way more than his fair share while I’m asleep with toddler.

He escapes his high chair in seconds even at meal time and wants to be up in my arms or snaking round my ankles even if I’m making a brew.

I do it in very short bursts so they don't really have time to get bored. Putting cbeebies on works as a distraction for a bit too. Cleaning bathroom etc happens during nap time. I do a general tidy up one they are in bed.

I have also had to just accept lower standards than I would like!

@OnlyYellowRoses - mine would be out the playpen by climbing over the top before I even left the room.

Mine does like helping put washing in machine, but then halfway starts pulling it all back out.

I recently bought my 18-month old a toy washing up sink from B&M. It even has a working tap so when you fill the basin with water they can turn the tap on and wash their own little toy plates and cups. It was £12 I think but it's been a game changer. She'll stand on a chair next to me when I wash the pots and copy on her own set.

I've got a 21 month old and we are still going through this!

I asked myself the same today! 15 month old who has learnt to 'help' - switches washing machine off mid-cycle, pits my phone in the bin, likes to climb into the cats food and paint with it.
I don't know there is an answer. I tend to do everything when he's in bed, with a glass of wine... (the baby doesn't have the wine, I do). Play pens can help if he doesn't decide to scream, but it's so bulky and such a faff, I tend to do without- house is small! I'm just telling myself, 1 more year, get through this, and he will be so much more independent - and if I'm wrong, at least I have hope to get me through the next 12 months!

@clartymare

I've got a 21 month old and we are still going through this!

Oh no.... 🤦

Posted too soon! I've come to accept that in order to get one job done, he will just create utter carnage elsewhere (ie I'll put the washing on and he will pull out all the tupperware and pans from the cupboards) and that's the sacrifice at the moment

I got mine to 'help', but like @squee123, it was generally high-supervision on my part – 'helping' was (and still is) defined as 'not slowing me down so much I'm going backwards'. It helped a bit to know her favourites: she liked the dustpan and brush, so she frequently 'swept the floor' whilst I did another chore in the same room. Many things were also done in bits – a load of washing might get folded and put away over 3 or 4 sessions.