"Breastmilk is like chocolate"......

[grey12]

As per DC3's health visitor

Background: DC3 is nearly 1 year old and hasn't really taken to food. I have introduced several foods but she mainly chews a bit and spits it out, coupled with the fact that she is going through her "throw everything on the floor" phase.....

Now, I'm not a stressy FTM.... she's doing well! She's developing well, hitting all the milestones, very social, very happy. We have no concerns about her. She does have her baby rolls DC1 was much slimmer!

But comparing breastmilk to chocolate is crossing a line! I get it that it can be a comfort thing but she's doesn't complain about being offered food, she just doesn't really eat it. And breastmilk is good food for a baby. My understanding is that at this age food is a complement to BF and not the opposite.... I find it upsetting because it isn't the first time a HV has made a bit of a dangerous comment to me. I'm an educated person so I just laugh it off, but other people will take it at face value

She was actually born a little smaller than her sisters (but what can I do about that?!) and with Covid the last time she was properly weighed was at 2 months she wasn't even measured at birth!!!! What am I supposed to write in her baby book? (don't actually have a baby book.... child no3, remember? ) So, HV has put her on a waiting list (!!!!) to be weighed. Why has everything become so challenging with Covid?! What a strange service to cut

I’m not sure about food being a complement to breastmilk as I know that, for example, breastmilk can’t provide all of your baby’s iron needs. However, lots of babies don’t take to food until well into their second year, and if she’s well and happy I wouldn’t worry.

The chocolate comment is a weird one! Did she just mean it’s sweet and therefore tastier than food?

She meant it like DC doesn't want food because I offer her BM. And BM is like chocolate: why would you eat normal food when you could eat chocolate all the time? Which is a terrible comparison!

You're right about the iron I have tried giving her egg yolk but she won't take it..... she will gnaw at some broccoli or brown bread

I think you are overreacting a bit calling it a ‘dangerous’ comment, although it’s hard to say because you haven’t really explained the conversation you had with the HV. I imagine she meant that breastmilk is more appealing to your child than food at the moment. I wouldn’t say food compliments milk at nearly a year old, it is generally the other way around by that age. But if your daughter is happy and healthy it’s unlikely to cause any problems, she’ll learn to enjoy food more eventually.

Mine was never measured, I don’t know why the outrage about that. I don’t think all hospitals do it. And I never understood the weekly trips some mums were doing to the HV for weighing - I just weighed mine at home with me in the bathroom scales every other month or so.

She meant it like DC doesn't want food because I offer her BM. And BM is like chocolate: why would you eat normal food when you could eat chocolate all the time? Which is a terrible comparison!

Oh, well that’s what I thought then - I don’t understand why this is so terrible

I thought you possibly meant you’re HV was implying that breastmilk was unhealthy I mean breastmilk is filling and babies enjoy it - if they are full from milk - any milk, breast, formula or cow, they won’t want as much food. Is she really wrong??

Re iron, I always understood that the iron in breast milk was easily, nay perfectly, absorbed by the child so it didn't matter that there was so little in the milk, they still got enough. Which makes sense if you think about evolution. And fortified formula is much harder to absorb the iron from.

A HV comparing BM to chocolate in some people's perception would mean reducing BF to "special snack" only. My older kids only have chocolate as an occasional treat...... so it IS dangerous to say something that could lead someone to avoid BFing their baby in order to force them to eat normal food. Babies need to be lead in a softer way.

@Janek

Re iron, I always understood that the iron in breast milk was easily, nay perfectly, absorbed by the child so it didn't matter that there was so little in the milk, they still got enough. Which makes sense if you think about evolution. And fortified formula is much harder to absorb the iron from.

I did hear that many cultures use egg yolk or liver as a first food

But that is an interesting take

I'd say it tastes more like ice cream myself! I get where she's coming from but she was wrong to say it. Sweet warm milk is probably always going to be preferable to spinach though!

My dd was like yours, much preferred breastmilk to proper food and I did have to get strict and cut back on feeds, she then started to eat. By 9 months they should be eating distinct meals with the quantity beginning to increase so by a year they are eating properly. It's not something to be overly concerned with, every child has their own development schedule, but your hv is gently saying that you need to persevere more with the eating food side before offering breastmilk eg think of it as pudding.

We keep offering her food but she just doesn't actually eat the greatest majority of it. She'll chew a bit and spit. We still offer! A big variety

The chocolate comparison is weird but Im not sure why food should be complementing breast milk at 1 really, so I can see where she was coming from.

so it IS dangerous to say something that could lead someone to avoid BFing their baby in order to force them to eat normal food.

Some people do choose to stop breastfeeding at this stage - it’s not dangerous to do so.
I think you’re taking this as a personal affront when it isn’t - the HV isn’t trying to prevent you from breastfeeding or criticising breastmilk. It sounds like she made the sensible suggestion that to increase your child’s appetite it might be good to wait until after having a meal to breastfeed, just like you would wait until after a meal to give your child some chocolate. If I drank a pint of full fat milk before sitting down to eat I wouldn’t be as hungry either 🤷‍♀️ I don’t think anyone else would interpret the chocolate thing in the extreme way you have so I wouldn’t worry about the other mums she works with, I’m sure they won’t suddenly shut breast milk shop completely and force feed solids to their babies

I don't see a massive issue with what she said tbh, certainly not dangerous to stop breastfeeding a nearly 1 year old. She's full of milk so isn't eating, seems quite logical

I agree that food should not just be complimenting breast milk at almost one. Mine were on full 3 course meals & snacks by 9 months 🙈 Really, by one, food should be the main source of calories to provide a wide & varied array of vitamins & enjoyment of food. My cousin is an NHS nutritionist & does see problems in babies who over breastfeed in place of food into the toddler years. Anemia & food sensory issues mostly. She was very keen to pass the message on to us first time round that food should gradually come first between 6-12 months. As it happened, mine both dropped milk like a hot potato the minute they tasted food 😂

I wouldn’t be overly concerned at almost one but I would be considering maybe lowering the milk intake as you head into toddlerhood. Milk should be a refreshing drink, comfort, calcium. Not a main food source between 12-18 months. Your DD is clearly filling up on milk, thus not fussed for food. Maybe time to just try tip that balance & get her more interested & going on meals 🤷🏼‍♀️

She meant it like DC doesn't want food because I offer her BM. And BM is like chocolate: why would you eat normal food when you could eat chocolate all the time? Which is a terrible comparison!
Well, it's not a terrible comparison, it's a perfectly reasonable one. It's the reason your dc hasn't "taken to food"

@Krustykrabpizza

I don't see a massive issue with what she said tbh, certainly not dangerous to stop breastfeeding a nearly 1 year old. She's full of milk so isn't eating, seems quite logical

I know it's safe to stop BF but only when the child is eating properly not in this situation

I think what people are gently trying to say is if you are letting your child fill up on nice sweet easy breast milk it’s much harder to get her eating properly?

@GreyhoundG1rl

She meant it like DC doesn't want food because I offer her BM. And BM is like chocolate: why would you eat normal food when you could eat chocolate all the time? Which is a terrible comparison! Well, it's not a terrible comparison, it's a perfectly reasonable one. It's the reason your dc hasn't "taken to food"

My THIRD child. Trust me, kids take to food very well even while BF. That's a BS comment.

I do "self weaning", but even when I did shove a spoon in her mouth, she still spits out

I know there are parents who actively don't offer food to their children until about 1yo. Nothing wrong, but I'm just not one of them. My child has been daily presented with food for months now.

The HV gave a couple of good suggestions which we are trying. But that was a silly comment that a health professional dealing with small babies should very much avoid, imo

She’s not actually that wrong and it was a good comparison to make. Food is not a complement it’s necessary, she was trying to tell you she’s filling herself on sweet milk so doesn’t want normal food. Yout baby is one now, she does need more than breast milk ideally.

Has she hit a nerve. What she said wasn’t dangerous, and I doubt she was trying to hurt you, more explain it in terms she thought you’d understand,

Well she's right. Your baby doesn't want food because she knows you will give her milk when she doesn't eat it. She's a year old now and ideally needs more than just the milk.

I always thought it was food for fun until they are one. Honestly I think that sometimes some health visitors create issues, just so they can tick a box labelled advice given. Breast milk is amazing stuff and isn't comparable to junk food! I completely understand your point about some advice being dangerous especially for ftm mothers who might already be stressed/ depressed/anxious. Kids do things at their own pace, I have 4 and they have all been ready to crawl/ walk/ eat/ toilet train at different ages. Personally I'd give a multivitamin for iron and carry on.

My THIRD child. Trust me, kids take to food very well even while BF. That's a BS comment.

Of course, but not all children are the same - so for your third DC you may need to take on the advice your HV gave and adapt your approach.

Why is it either or though- breastmilk or junk food?

Iron is actually really quite important from 6 months onwards. That's why food before one is just for fun is a complete load of rubbish. Your health visitor was ridiculous comparing it to chocolate, but if it was me I'd be reducing the feeds to encourage her to be hungry for food.