Give me your honest - warts and all - experience of

[Bridie20]

… the postpartum phase please.

Specifically the first 2-4 weeks? I’m trying to find info on what it’ll be like to show my partner but it’s really hard to find much that is comprehensive online.

I don’t mind about ‘scaremongering’ - I am very aware it can be horrendous for some and okay for others. Just want your honest experiences please if you are happy to share?

Thank you!

Varies for everyone, but for me. I had 2 vaginal births and breastfed both too. Firstly there's the poo fear after. The feelings that you might die if you do a poo (you don't). Lots of blood, so like having a mega heavy period for quite a while afterwards which makes you feel a bit yuk as you can't use tampons so it's all just massive sanitary towels or disposable knickers. I had an episiotomy with my first and a year with my second. Fortunately I didn't get much discomfort when generally sitting down, but I couldn't walk any great distance for a number of weeks because I would feel sore (good excuse to stay rooted to the sofa).

Breastfeeding was tough to start with both. Painful (very!) nipples, not much sleep, lots of worry about supply and baby weight loss etc.... LOTS of times when I wanted to give up, I'm glad I didn't but those first 6 weeks were the hardest bit BF wise. Was the thing I was most anxious about both times.

Mood wise, I had the usual baby blues about 4 days after each where I cried lots for no apparent reason. Was lucky otherwise though and had no PPD and felt generally very happy and loved up with my baby.

Felt insecure with dh, needed to hear that I was doing well and he loved me a lot. Learnt from the first time around that it's best just to
Communicate this and not stay silent on it. Second time around, if I needed a hug I'd ask for one and it was much better!

Hope that helps! Good luck!

Both times, they were hands down the best month of my life (including some pretty amazing around the world holidays).

If i could do postpartum on a loop for life, i would.

I had two very easy to recover from elective sections, and reseller then the baby blues, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of happiness and energy.

I didn't find it overwhelming looking after a baby and both times I slept better than I had done in pregnancy. My pregnancies were awful though and so having the baby gave me my life back.

Yes, I had lochia (it was period like for a few days and then finished within 10 days) but most of the time that just meant a thin pantyliner. I only bought I've pack of proper pads and i the half of them away as it tailed off so quickly.

And my boobs didn't really leak, even though I bf my second (which was fortunately easy).

It did get hard, but that was more the older baby and toddler stage. Newborns, I could cuddle them forever.

I had an episiotomy both times but they healed quickly and it wasn't too painful just uncomfortable for a couple of weeks. The bleeding was a lot at first but manageable. The breast milk leakage was quite extreme especially the first time. I didn't leak for a few days then soaked my top when out without any breast pads!

My nipples were mostly pain free. My first baby had a trouble latching- possibly due to a more traumatic birth and my lack of breastfeeding experience but we worked it out after a few days with support from midwives. My second baby latched in properly before the placenta was delivered. My first baby fed extremely regularly and cluster fed all evening and most of the night. My first baby didn't sleep well or in her own bed at all. It was exhausting and awful for me - we reluctantly resorted to co-sleeping taking all safety precautions. My second baby slept well from birth in her own crib.

You might get a baby like my second but if you get a non-sleeping constant feeder it is only a short time - the blink of an eye when they are big kids and you look back.

Physically it’ll depend totally on how your birth went - mine was long and hard with an induction and a failed epidural but the delivery itself was pretty textbook and I only had a minor tear and a couple of stitches. It stung like a bitch for the first week, fully healed after two. Peeing was awful. I’d go in the shower or sit in a warm bath. I wish I’d bought a squeezy bottle to take into hospital to pour over while on the toilet. Trying to flush the area with a kidney bowl wasn’t the most dignified I’ve ever felt. I also didn’t expect to feel so bashed and bruised down below but it was bearable. PP bleeding lasted about 3.5 weeks for me. After that I felt physically completely back to normal and was running again at 4 weeks (though I wouldn’t recommend it, think official advice is 12 weeks now). Like others say I didn’t feel the rush of love immediately, it took me til Probably 10 weeks to feel bonded. Just be very gentle with yourselves, be kind to each other and lower your expectations of everything entirely. You’ve got this x

Getting a pee started can sometimes be a struggle,

Sneezing can pull on your stitches (was not prepared for that!),

Fybogel is your best friend if going number 2 is a challenge,

House work is not a priority,

Get a shower, it'll honestly make you feel better if you feel at least slightly human,

The crying. Be prepared for that. I would cry at anything. Baby sleeping …cry that he looked cute and was being a good boy. Baby not sleeping unless being held, cry at that too 😂

Your body can feel quite battered. It can take a long time to able to poo and you might get stressed about that.

But you do heal and get back to normal.

I honestly do think the post partum phase is incredible. Unfortunately I was too tired/confused/in pain to enjoy if for the most part. It helps if you have a supportive, loving partner. Take photo's, enjoy the highs when you have them, but don't beat yourself up if you don't...it's survival mode and you do what you have to do for yourself and for your newborn. Interestingly I've found that each baby/delivery was a very different experience, I was much more laid back after baby number 3 and just went with the flow without putting too many expectations on myself, my body or my baby and that really helped...a lot!

Physically it was a breeze, felt fairly normal as soon as my epidural wore off tbh.

Mentally I was a total basket case. Breastfeeding didn’t work out and it destroyed our first 3-4 weeks until I admitted defeat. If I’d just gone with formula I’d have had a fairly easy time of it I think.

Plus side: episiotomy healed really well and quickly. Not carrying round a weight and I could bend in the middle! Also room to eat without indigestion. I remember being really.l happy about this.
Down sides:. After my catheter was taken.off and I went for my first wee a maybe grapefruit side clot fell out. Then bleeding mostly during breastfeeding, thought it stopped for about a week but then a bit more after a week, which may or may not have been a period dispite breastfeeding, they never stopped for me. massively emotional and impulsive, really not myself for a few weeks. Everything sounds like a baby's cry.

I lost a fair bit of blood during an otherwise uncomplicated birth so was pretty tired from that…ended up staying in hospital overnight and go no sleep there. Took DS home the next day and tried to breastfeed…I’d said there was something not quite right in hospital as I didn’t think he was getting any colostrum or milk, the midwives just said carry on. Had a horrific few days where DS would not sleep for longer than ten mins at a time and spent the rest of the time crying. Both me and partner though “what have we done?” I got less than four hours sleep in 4 days. I felt broken from exhaustion. Kept telling midwives that I was sure baby wasn’t getting any milk, they said he was. I said I would feed him some formula to calm him, they said don’t do that under any circumstance! As a first time mum with no other support (lockdown) I believed them! Got to the fourth day of being home and I thought “f* it I’m going to try formula”. Since that moment, he was the most calm and lovey little boy imaginable. I had always had the rushes of love, despite feeling so sleep deprived but once he was fed and happy we bonded on a whole new level. I spent the time after that feeling euphoric and just gazed at him and enjoyed every moment with him.

For me personally, going to the toilet was not painful but I was amazed at the amount of maternity pads I needed and how quickly they needed changing in those first couple of weeks!