Worried about babies breathing

[LF21]

Hi everyone,
I’m new to Mumsnet & I’m new to being a mum. My baby is 11 days old and today me and my partner went out for a walk and then for something to eat after. When we was at the pub (sat outside as it was a warm day) I went to check on my sleeping baby in his pram and he was very limp. Usually the slightest touch will make him flinch or disturb his sleep. I had an absolute meltdown of panic convinced he wasn’t breathing. I picked him up and he still didn’t so much as twitch and he was so floppy. I passed him to my other half who was then as panicked as I was, so I ended up shouting for help in the middle of the pub garden. Thankfully some kind woman came, took our baby, put him over her shoulder and reassured us he was moving and breathing. I now feel extremely embarrassed for causing such a panic and haven’t been able to stop crying since. I feel like I was so useless and now I’m terrified of going out in public again with him. I guess I just wanted some reassurance from someone that I’m maybe not alone? If anyone else has ever made such a scene before and felt as awful as I do now?

You are not alone. They do that weird stopping breathing thing and it is so scary. I remember being really panicked one night when I thought DS wasn't breathing, then he kind of shuddered and was fine.

It will soon pass, though. Please don't let it stop you from getting out. It's worth feeling a bit embarrassed if it means you get reassurance.

How frightening for you. Don’t be embarrassed or too scared to go out again. You did the right thing asking for help. My little boy is 12 weeks and I’m constantly checking his breathing. Better to be safe than sorry xx

I did this in the middle of night, absolutely convinced and woke up my OH in a panic. I had felt my baby with my hand but hasn't been able to feel the rise and fall of his chest. For some reason! My baby was absolutely fine.

The early days are tough!

Yep my LO done this. I have woken her in night before as I thought she wasn't breathing 😳😬🙄needless to say she was pissed off at me for waking her x

My DD is almost 9 months old and I still check her breathing

Please don't feel embarrassed! I check all the time and DS is now one! I have also woken up DH numerous times in a panic at night

Do we ever stop checking on them? I check my much older kids at night. Please don't be embarrassed you did the right thing, be kinder to yourself x

You were right to check and right to seek help as you were concerned. I'm sure the lady was relieved she was able to reassure you.

Having a new baby is an anxious time for most new parents and a steep learning curve. It does get easier with time and experience.

Oh I still have to check my LO at nearly 7 months old.

If there napping my mum suggested look at their neck if you can't see the breathing you can see the top part of their chest rise and their main artery in neck too. Go by colour of lo too.

@veryfuckingfun

Do we ever stop checking on them? I check my much older kids at night. Please don't be embarrassed you did the right thing, be kinder to yourself x

Very true. DS is 3 and I still have a monitor and check he's moving before I go to sleep!

I frequently reach out in the night to check my 13 month olds breathing and temperature and I pop in on my four year old a if I get up to check his breathing
My eldest scared me once when I reached out to him half asleep and he felt really hot (raging fever) and then again when he was two when he was hitting me awake because he could hardly breath with croup. Think I’ll still be checking when he’s a teenager!

It’s normal and terrifying. I still have it with my primary school child. Go in to check and worry he’s not breathing if i don’t hear a breath straight away. It’s good that you checked and then called for help. Better that way round.

Please don't worry about making a scene. You were right to do so; you thought your baby needed help, and the lady will be glaf to have helped you. I'm so glad all was okay. Be kind to yourself. You sound like a great mum xxx

@DollyPartBaked

I did this in the middle of night, absolutely convinced and woke up my OH in a panic. I had felt my baby with my hand but hasn't been able to feel the rise and fall of his chest. For some reason! My baby was absolutely fine.

The early days are tough!

Did this too.

Don’t be embarrassed.
My three year old went a bit floppy in the car on me yesterday falling asleep on the way home from nursery - very unusual for him. I start talking to him quite loudly and got no response. I thought he’d overheated or something because it was quite warm and pulled over to check on him. Wouldn’t wake up immediately - I start panicking and say ‘wake up!’ and he quite angrily starts grumbling ‘no, I want to sleep!’ and starts pushing me away. He was fine. Just grouchy, tired and clearly comfy in his floppiness. Clearly he’d had a long day… There seems to be no real end to this I’m afraid! But you’re definitely not alone!

Don't be embarrassed, it's better to check that your baby is ok! DD is nearly 2 and I still panic if she hasn't grunted in her sleep or heard her fidget for a while. Always better to be safe than sorry

Don't be embarrassed. It's so scary in those early days, we slept with a light on low for months so I could check on them easily. My baby is now nearly 2 and I still go in and check before I go to bed every night. It's a normal part of being a mum.

Ah, try not to worry and try to move on. Tomorrow is a new day. You didn't do anything wrong at all and did what any mum would do.

I always check both of mine for breathing in the night and mine are almost 4 and 21months. Looks like it's pretty normal for us all, but perfectly understandable for you, your baby is so new and tiny. Congratulations on your new baby.

My teenager had such a ridiculously long lay in the other morning that I actually went to check he was breathing...!

Hope you're ok after your shock

Ah OP that sounds scary.

I agree with the others - I still check my DD’s and they are 7 and 11. It’s normal I think.

Are you still worried about whether there was something wrong or were you reassured all was ok?

It’s scary being a new parent. We are just expected to know what to do - it’s all so new and we second guess ourselves constantly. I promise it gets easier.

OP I have worried about this lots of times. Don't be embarrassed. You did the right thing in speaking up and the main thing is he's ok.

I bought a owlet monitor and that has helped me not constantly check baby is breathing (now 3 months) but I am particularly anxious as my first baby was stillborn.

I'm another that sleeps with a low light on so i can check my baby is breathing.

When my DD first goes to sleep she is quite loud (grunts, squeaks etc) and I find it difficult to sleep through. So youd think I'd be grateful when she drifts into her quiet deeper sleep but oh no - I'm still kept awake staring intently at her to check she is still alive. I think it must be part of being a new mum!

In a few years itll just be a funny story you tell I'm sure. Dont worry xxx

Agree with PP's - don't be embarrassed.

DD is 2 now and sometimes, if I've not heard her stir at all during the evening, I crank the monitor up to full and stick my ear to it until I can drown out the background static and hear her breathe. It was much worse when she was young, she would be so quiet sometimes and just as I would reach my hand out about to feel her, she'd give this big gasp.

They like to keep us on our toes!

I ran to my next door neighbours with my 7 day old baby screaming ‘she isn’t breathing’. she was fine.. so embarrassed after the fact atleast you called for help!

Thank you so much everybody for all your kind and reassuring messages! Now I’ve read through them all and had time to calm down I feel a lot better and not like some crazy paranoid first time mum that over reacted like I did earlier! 😳 I’m glad we’re all in the same boat and by the sounds of it my worries have only just begun! Thanks again everyone! xx