Worried about babies breathing

[LF21]

Hi everyone,
I’m new to Mumsnet & I’m new to being a mum. My baby is 11 days old and today me and my partner went out for a walk and then for something to eat after. When we was at the pub (sat outside as it was a warm day) I went to check on my sleeping baby in his pram and he was very limp. Usually the slightest touch will make him flinch or disturb his sleep. I had an absolute meltdown of panic convinced he wasn’t breathing. I picked him up and he still didn’t so much as twitch and he was so floppy. I passed him to my other half who was then as panicked as I was, so I ended up shouting for help in the middle of the pub garden. Thankfully some kind woman came, took our baby, put him over her shoulder and reassured us he was moving and breathing. I now feel extremely embarrassed for causing such a panic and haven’t been able to stop crying since. I feel like I was so useless and now I’m terrified of going out in public again with him. I guess I just wanted some reassurance from someone that I’m maybe not alone? If anyone else has ever made such a scene before and felt as awful as I do now?

No, you’re not a crazy first time mum. It’s normal to react when you think for a split second that your baby might be breathing. But as time goes on, you’ll start to learn what’s normal and what’s not for your baby and the reactions like that will get less frequent. How old is your baby?

Oh bless you …it really is scary being responsible for this little human being . You did exactly the right thing ,my daughter had a similar panic when her baby was tiny and ran into my bedroom convinced she wasn’t breathing.
In fact I had grandchild staying a few nights ago and she slept all night and I spent the night constantly checking on her because monitor wasn’t working.She is nearly two but I still had to reassure myself that she was ok .
Enjoy being a Mum💐

I tend to look at their chest to see if it's moving up and down or put my finger under their nose to feel for breathing, my third baby breathes much more silently than the other two did!

They can be so very still and floppy when sleeping, I think that's where "sleeping like a baby" comes from.

As long as you are using a proper flat carrycot (not having them scrunched up in a car seat for long periods) and no suffocation hazards around they are very unlikely to stop breathing. It's natural to worry and check though!

Just wanted to say you're definitely not alone! My DD did exactly this when she was a few days old and she had jaundice too so we called 111, an emergency ambulance was sent out and all it was was that she was super tired! After that she would go limp when she was in a deep sleep or too tired, now that she's 3 months it only happens when she's very deep asleep.

Being a first time mum is tough, especially in those first few days. Please don't feel embarrassed!

@veryfuckingfun

Do we ever stop checking on them? I check my much older kids at night. Please don't be embarrassed you did the right thing, be kinder to yourself x

Same! I still go in and check both my children are tucked in breathing before I go to bed.

They are 5 and 3!

OP I remember both of mine doing similar, they go totally floppy when they fall into a super deep sleep. You're not silly it's every parents worst nightmare for something terrible to happen to their child. Just chalk it up to experience.

@LF21 Heyy Don't be embarrassed, you have done what any mum would do.

When my daughter was 3 weeks old, she did something exactly the same, she fell asleep whilst breastfeeding so I moved her to her cot, but normally moving her to the cot she would flinch and wake up, but this time she just lay still, I touched her hand and lifted it from the cot to see if she tenses but she was floppy, I mean like a rag doll and her breathing was very slow. Called 111 and they sent out an ambulance, it took 20mins for the ambulance to come, in the mean time I'm trying to wake her up, so is my mum but she just would ot wake up and was still floppy Luckily as soon as the ambulance guys came in and started testing her she woke up and was her normal self. No medical reason for her being like that!

With parenting I've learnt your best to be safe then sorry, if something doesn't feel right raise it up!

I’m a 3rd hear child student nurse and recently completed a placement in NICU and even the term babies ready to go home stop breathing from time to time. Just keep an eye on them and always make sure their chin isn’t touching their chest. Stimulate then by picking them up, Patting their back etc. And don’t ever feel embarrassed, you recognised something wasn’t quite right and that in itself is an amazing mama ❤️

I have also done this in the middle of the night. Couldn't feel him breathing, he felt cold to the touch, ripped open his swaddle and he was all limp. I felt sick to my stomach, nearly in tears grabbed him to try and get him out of the cot and he woke up and yelled at me

You are not alone. And I can totally understand your feelings.

Don't feel embarrassed! You have only had the baby 11 days, you don't get to practice before they arrive, they don't even come with instructions and they are so small and can do nothing themselves. I have had a baby before but the newborn stage is so short I forgot and felt almost as clueless with my new baby - they are just so tiny!

That lady was probably more than happy you asked for help and she could reassure you. I guess the baby was just in a deep sleep hence the floppiness? I'm not very sure on new babies even after two though! I still panic when my 4 month old is sleeping soundly when I don't expect her to be asleep. It does pass though; I don't remember having this anxiety once my older daughter became a toddler.