How do you cope when your 3 year old has dropped their nap...

[Teapleasevicar0]

DD was a great napper at home, used to sleep 1-3pm and still fall asleep at 7pm for bed. Last few weeks she hasn't napped, I gave up trying after two weeks as I didn't want her to think I wanted her to be out the way. But honestly, I'm struggling. The time she napped was the time I could eat, have a cuppa or do a work out or just catch up with stuff. The days feel so long now.. This morning she was awake at 6am..i left her a bit until 6.40am until she was shouting for me.. Bought her into my bed and just stuck children's Netflix on my phone and we got up at 7.45am. I feel like such a crap parent. I like to keep fit so am having to work out after she goes to sleep at 7pm and don't sit and eat till late. The days just feel significantly longer. I'm a single parent too with no help.. How did you cope?

Could you try putting her into bed for some quiet time instead? She can either play quietly or rest and maybe sleep if she feels like it?

Introduce quiet time as a replacement - could be 30 mins of TV, or her looking at books/puzzles - anything that doesnt require input from you.
Eat with her in to remove that requirement.

Early bedtime. 5pm asleep. Mine dropped naps alot earlier than 3 years and we moved bedtime forward alot.

Cross your fingers and wait for her to go to school.

I got mine a Kindle fire and let them have time on that during the day. Id have lost my mind without it.

Enforced quiet time after lunch. DD stopped naps at 2.5 in the middle of lockdown when I was wfh and nursery was shut, it was a total disaster. She has to go and do something quiet like look at books or play with quiet toys without interaction from me. Sometimes it’s more successful than other times. Deploy CBeebies / story time app / numberblocks app as needed.

I thought about bringing bed time forward to 6pm or 6.30pm but that wouldn't work during the week.. I just feel utterly shattered today. I could just fall asleep on the sofa right now. It'll be 11pm till I can go to sleep 😢

You do get used to it I promise. You've actually had a good run. My daughter stopped completely at 23 months (was patchy for a few months before) at the time my son was 5 months old so it was hard and by 8 months he was down to one 30 min nap a day 😨. I've been living with that for 9 months or so now and it's still hard but you do adapt.

After lunch I put the TV on, get my daughter set up with a blanket on the couch and explain its quiet time, she'll normally chill for about an hour now so I can do a few bits, eat if I can get my son down etc. I do try and put them in bed early too - 6.30ish, it's not always successful but it gives me a bit of extra to myself when it does work.

Quiet time. We used to use the Gro Clock, at first it was just ten mins and then we slowly built it up. It worked well, both DCs would play in their room alone for a bit, and I got my cuppa in peace. But it can take a little work for a week to get it going.

Another vote for making what used to be nap time the new quiet time when she is allowed to watch TV. Better to have special fixed TV time for her when you settle her with a movie or similar so you get a break than to wind up turning the TV on at random times in desperation because you need a rest or to get stuff done. (But don't beat yourself up for that - we've all done it).

Quiet time continued after napping stopped. Although only 1 hour.

Also can you rethink what you do with her around? What do you do for a work out? Can you do it whilst she is awake? Can she 'join in'?

Quiet time.

A film or the iPad for a 1.5hrs while I chill out.

I think I've been feeling guilty for putting the TV on just to get through the day. There's a particular programme she likes, she could sit and watch it all day if I was to let her. I think changing nap to quiet time is a good idea.. Last time I put her in her room to nap she was actually fine and just rolled around, chatting to herself. I put a book in with her too. I have a baby monitor so can see her. I went up after 15 minutes as I felt guilty.

Don't feel guilty about tv.
I begged mine to nap for a while when I was pregnant. She was having none of it.

Can you find ways to combine exercise with childcare? Eg cycling with her in a child seat on the back of your bike, going to a gym that has a crèche, doing a workout in the living room and letting her "join in", finding a buggy fit class. Then you'll free up the time in the evening when you're exercising after she's in bed.

You do get used to it
My first was napping for 1 times 30 mins at 12 months and dropped them mostly from 18 months

Yes, quiet telly. 2.5yo DD only naps now when poorly, but she’ll do quiet TV watching. Maybe too much… when she knows we’re at the end of our tether she goes “Maybe a bit of quiet telly for me is a good idea” 😂

Mine all dropped their naps before they were 2. 12.30-2pm became ‘quiet time’ where they could watch a film or TV programme.

'Quiet time'. Mine dropped naps at nursery (3 days a week) at 2.5 years as they napped them earlier than at home. We carried on with nap routine at home and sometimes she'd nap and sometimes not - usually 2-3 times on her 4 days at home. Once she was out of her cot at age 3 and she had a groclock we made it clear she could either nap, look at books or play quietly in her room but she had to stay there. She gradually dropped to one nap a week until 4 years when she stopped completely but was very used to having 'quiet time' by then and even plans what she wants to do for it!

It was an absolute lifesaver during the lockdowns as meant we'd get two hours when could get on with work. Sometimes she will ask for some help - getting a lid off a box or of a drawing goes well etc which we happily give, but we've made clear it's 'quiet time' for everyone and the adults will be getting on with staring at Mumsnet work, having a nap themselves etc. It's also given a good balance of activities with people in the morning, then time to recharge in the afternoon.

I drive to work as i work in a hospital. I wake up at 6am. Have an hour to myself to shower, make up, get dressed, sort out work bag and pre school bag, tidy up then get her up for 6.45, she's dropped off to childcare by 7.10am and I get to work for 7.45am ready to start for 8am. I work 8 to 5pm x 5 days a week. I think it's just finding the time to keep fit. I've recently lost a lot of weight and it was due to upping my exercise. I really enjoy it and its good for my mental wellbeing also.
I did think about getting up at 5.15am to do a 45 minute workout, but the thought of it made me want to cry.. Especially if it's a disturbed night of multiple night wakings.
I'm going to try quiet TV time instead next week. It's just the weekends as she has pre school Monday to Friday and she's shattered after and goes straight to sleep.

Mine wouldn't sit and be quiet when they stopped their naps so instead I started going out for full days, for example trips to the beach or the park or the shops, without worrying about having to get back in time for naps. I actually felt liberated from the straight-jacket that was The Routine. It was amazing!

• Disclaimer: we didn't go out and be busy every day. We still had a lot of days at home where the kids would play with their toys in the house or garden.

Is she still napping at nursery?

P.s. don't feel guilty for not entertaining her every waking minute. Embrace and enjoy the fact that she's happy to be by herself for a while because otherwise you'll end up with an older child who doesn't know how to be bored and find her own entertainment.

Cross your fingers and wait for her to go to school.

I got mine a Kindle fire and let them have time on that during the day. Id have lost my mind without it.

This worked for me too. Especially the bit about being keen for him to start school!

What exercise are you doing? Mine used to 'join in' in a child safe manner... running with a buggy, or copying an exercise video. Swimming tires them out.

No the kids don't nap at pre school.. She has a full day from 7.10am to 5.20pm!