If people believe that new parenting techniques like naughty steps, no smacking, treat them as you would an adult (or there abouts) how come more of todays children are growing up to be so out of control, violent, rude, disrespectful etc etc???

[QueenofVenus]

It seems to me that the older generations child rearing techniques were more sensible, i think society will always have its little outlaws, but in comparison, older generations kids had more about them then ours!????

The parents I see around me seem to fall (very roughly) into two categories:

the ones that use a calm authoritarian manner, based on a thought-out consistent parenting pattern and self control; this may or may not include the naughty step

the ones that smack and scream at their children in public

Anyone care to guess which ones have the best behaved kids? Self control and consideration for others is something you need to model, not just enforce.

If the naughty step was really the reason for modern woes, and smacking the only answer, would anyone care to explain why Sweden, which banned smacking 20 years ago, has much lower youth crime rates than England, where smacking is still common? I spend my summers in Sweden and have not noticed that Swedish children are markedly out of control or disrespectful. But then I'm such an unobservant person I can walk right through our local council estate without even noticing that the teenagers kicking a ball around with their little brothers are intimidating

yes of course it makes sense (in answer to op) people are much more competetive these days

good posts cory and madamez.

smacking and screaming at your kids is not parenting, IMO. Your primary job as a parent is to help your kids mature emotionally - screaming at them freezes them, developmentally, in toddler world. Thus they grow up relating to other people like a toddler would.

IME the teenagers that I see who are out of control have parents who have never used any form of discipline in a calm and consistent manner.

For whatever reason they simply refuse to correct their child's poor behaviour and will block anyone else who tries to curb their child's excesses. they refuse to accept that their child is ever in the wrong, and blocks any attempt that the school might use to discipline them.

They then wonder what has gone wrong when the police are involved.

Sometimes they do this because they are themselves dysfuctional, sometimes they don't know any better and sometimes they cannot tell their child off for fear of hurting the kids feelings, or making the child upset. What they fail to realise that children who are out of control are seldom truly happy

I agree with the OP in general, but not about the naughty step; if it's used properly - a la Jo Frost - it works very well. She doesn't take any sh*t and doesn't need to smack either. She gets the 'difficult' children & sorts them, they are happier in the long run with boundaries.

Parents should act in the child's best interest & not 'give in' all the time, worry about saying 'No', and about being liked/friends rather than parents.

cory what an excellent and clear headed post.
teenagers today are given a very hard timeI agree and very little credit.

My teenaged boys are fab. People are too quick to jump on teenagers/young people these days, like they are responsible for all of the World's ills.

In Asda the other week a fishwife woman brought the entire store to a standstill screaming at her young son at the top of her sweary voice about how he was making a show of her. She was completely out of control.
Now, the poor woman might have had a day of it and finally lost control but was so over the top

cory - you've forgotten the other category of parents. The ones who mean to use a well-thought out consistent mode of parenting, and succeed much of the time, but also, due to being human, occassionally lose the plot and forget that they are meant to be perfect. And IME that is the category that most parents fall into. And surprise surprise.... their kids normally turn out OK too.

teenagers are teenagers, and we were all one once!
we meet some right gobby ones on the bus now and then and they always stop swearing or tell their friends to as ds is there (3.9)
and have came across extremely polite courteous ones too!!
and there is little for them to do even in cities, that doesnt cost much
ohh and all those raging 'ormones, trying to fit in and find your place
ohhhh i wouldnt be a teenager again for all the dope in morroco!

in part some of the things that go wrong must be down to lack of parental time in the home ..just covering the costs of providing shelter and food
and that is not the parents fault

if you treat someone with respect and consideration you should be shown the same
its the old do as you would be done by ..i think
i dont want to rule with fear
well a tad here and there
am here to help, show, play, teach, and learn myself too!
and
i hate plastic parents too!