DS1 has woken a bit this week- got a cold and he seems to wonder if we are still here when it's dark and quiet i think. Sometimes we just creak a floorboard, and he seems satisfied and goes to sleep again!
Hope you all well!
Had a great few days- DH and i took them for a walk yesterday, and to the park today. DS1 seems all the better for it- apart from the exercise, it's been nice doing family stuff.
I've been much calmer and more patient for a bit now- 2 trains of thought have kept it going. I was waiting outside a house during the week, and i could hear a mother screaming at her kids inside (shut up, f**king stop it, etc etc) on the way home, i saw a mother walking back from school with her DD, maybe 4yrs old. She was trying to tell her mother about her day, and her mother told her to 'just shut up'. I got home and thought, i don't mean to sounds as harsh, but i may do anyway sometimes, if someone was listening as an outsider. I NEVER want to sound like those women- they sounded like they hated their kids
2nd, i suddenly thought DH is bigger than me. If he was being impatient and shouting, seeming annoyed that i wasn't performing tasks well enough, or fast enough, i'd feel like he didn't care about me and that i wasn't good enough. So perhaps that's how i make DS1 feel sometimes, when i'm tired and impatient? Not saying i'll never be impatient and grumpy again, but the last few days have been great, and DS1 has seemed so happy and playful, i wonder if it's partly because i am happier and calmer, and more fun.
Anyway- i lost another 3lbs this week, and i noticed tonight that my stretch marks on my hips have faded alot. DH agreed they had, and said that i look better after 2 kids in a short time, than some women with 1 child from years ago. Aw! Made me feel less grim- my b/day in couple of weeks, and looking forward to fitting into some old clothes (perhaps!) We shall see.
Sorry for waffling- feeling happy and v. blessed.