Living in a flat with baby - what would you do?

[RossIsTheBestFriend]

Silly bicker this morning with MIL. I take baby with me when I take the bins/recycling downstairs and I bought a second compact travel pram that I can carry downstairs while I’m carrying DS for when we’re going out.

MIL says I’m “utterly ridiculous and precious” and baby can be left in the flat alone either sleeping or awake while I take the big pram downstairs or deal with the bins etc. Baby is 10.5m and VERY active - can walk, climbs absolutely everything (climbs cot if not in his sleeping bag, can climb on sofa etc). Flat is 3rd floor.

DH works away from home for a couple of weeks at a time so not a case of being able to deal with bins etc at night when he gets home from work.

Would you leave the baby alone in the flat? 😅 am I being a precious FTM? 😬

You can certainly leave him for a minute to take the rubbish down, if he's asleep.

I live in a third floor flat too alone with my one year old dd.
Trying to take rubbish down with my dd would be a struggle so I do leave her up here alone but in a safe place such as playpen or highchair. I absolutely wouldn't just leave her to wander round alone.
I think it's fine if you're gone under 2 mins like me but there is always a fire risk! I'm uncomfortable doing it but being a single mum means I have to 😩

Its none of your mil’s business. You do what feels right to you.

YANBU. But ultimately your baby = your rules

It's completely up to you. I have always left the children in the house when doing the bins (which is a bit of a trek due to layout of house/ garden) but don't have the fear of being locked out etc. In a flat I'd worry about doors locking behind me, me forgetting keys etc (I'm very forgetful).

Do what you personally feel comfortable with.

Do what your comfortable with op and what works for you.

I would leave only if alder and you have monitor to walk rubbish down stairs. I do this in my own house an Ds is asleep on 2nd floor so it’s the same thing.

I wouldn’t leave him (1 year) in highchair or anywhere else awake though, he can cause chaos in seconds awake.

I leave mine strapped in her seat or asleep in cot when going out to the front of the house to deal with bins.

I think for a lot of people who live in flats that don't have lifts they don't really have a choice but to leave baby in certain circumstances e.g getting buggy downstairs and then bringing baby down after, or the other way around.

I wouldn't leave your baby. What if you get locked out? I don't think you are being precious just because you don't take risks that she claims she'd feel comfortable with.

@NerrSnerr

It's completely up to you. I have always left the children in the house when doing the bins (which is a bit of a trek due to layout of house/ garden) but don't have the fear of being locked out etc. In a flat I'd worry about doors locking behind me, me forgetting keys etc (I'm very forgetful).

Do what you personally feel comfortable with.

@NerrSnerr This is exactly my fear 😬🤣 I’m forgetful too and I figure I’m better locking us both out than locking him in 😅

@mummaelle don't think a high chair is safe! I took a dive out of mine when little and freaked my mother out by having a nose bleed to end all nose bleeds! Could have been a lot more serious.

I agree it’s none of your MIL’s business! We live in a first floor flat and DS was pretty mobile from 6 months so like you I wasn’t happy leaving him free ranging if I had to pop downstairs. I used to always put him in his Jumperoo, he was safe enough in there for a minute or two and couldn’t get out of it on his own.

With you OP, I didn’t leave kids in house when taking bins out. Only started when they were 4? 5? Too far, can’t hear what’s going on. I did start bringing pram or bags (bike in my case) down separately a wee bit earlier as you can leave door open and see what is happening on the stairs. But definitely not with a wee tiny thing!
That said If he is sound asleep I would maybe nip out with bins - I had 2 so that wasn’t an option.

I used to mostly take DC with me, I left them a couple of times (but when they were asleep) but I wasn't comfortable doing that

I used to use a baby carrier for all the outside jobs. Not a flat, small house but the garden still needed doing (hedge cutting, lawn mowing, things that would keep me out for more than a few minutes) Also sometimes loud so I would have no way of hearing the DC indoors if there was a problem. To take the bins out I needed to drag them up/down a culdesac with two sets of steps and could be quite far from my house building (100m?) so I would take the baby/toddlers with me.

Once the DC had proper bedtimes though , did used to take the dog for its evening wee without disturbing the DC, to the patch of grass across the road from my house. I could see the house all the time and the dc were in cots/asleep.

Not saying either is the right solution but can see both sides. You’re the parent though, you get to choose for you

I lived in a flat with dc1. I was the same as you! No way would I leave the flat without her. I actually almost never used the pram as a result, as it was a pita with the stairs. I used a sling a lot. But maybe at 10.5 mo she's getting heavier and it might not be practical for big trips out. We moved when dd was that age, so it became a non issue... although then she hated her pushchair and refused to go in it, so it maybe backfired a bit.

Basically YANBU.

I had to go to the shared laundry in the basement when my first was a baby, and yes I left her sleeping in her cot or pram. Sometimes in warm weather I would let her sleep in her pram on the shared balcony even - I had a lovely neighbour with a pet iguana who spent his days on the balcony and he would watch her (dd loved the iguana who was really tame and loved being stroked!)

I def wouldn’t use a sling to cut the hedge with a hedge cutter! I use my sling a lot, but a baby strapped to you whilst using power tools is just dangerous

I also wouldn’t leave in highchair. My highchair we have Added etc strap to and Houdini Ds can still escape

I live in a flat and I don't leave 11 month old to do the bins or take the pram down. I have a lightweight pram which I can carry along with carrying baby and set up in the hallway downstairs. For the bins I either wait until my husband is home and one of us will nip down or I use the carrier.

I just wouldn't feel comfortable leaving dd locked in the flat alone. I think if you feel the same then you carry on. It shouldn't really matter to anyone else as it doesn't affect them.

I do things differently at my mum's house where I would go into the garden. I'm trying to think about why I am comfortable with that! Haven't really thought about it before.

I use to leave mine up as I had 2 born a year apart so couldn’t take 2 down at the same time plus bags

I wouldn't mind leaving the baby while I take the bins down (if contained/asleep) but I couldn't be arsed to go up and down stairs twice to carry baby/buggy etc! I'd take a carrier or get one I could carry one handed like you have.

However I am forgetful and locking myself out would be a worry. In reality I just waited until someone else was around to take bins down, it's hardly urgent. I have nipped downstairs to help a delivery person once or twice.

I use to carry baby down in the carry cot, then go up for the frame and anything else (like the bins). It was a quiet block. I didn't leave them in the flat to go the bins, they were several minutes walk away. I also never left them the other side of a door that locked automatically as I was paranoid about being the other side of it and it jamming.

I would if they were sleeping, yes!

Baby on my back in a carrier. Hedge choppers (manual) and lawn mower (electric). Can see how that’s any more dangerous than chopping vegetables or vacuuming inside @Caspianberg

Not sure how else I could have done these things really, you just have to do the best you can