Living in a flat with baby - what would you do?

[RossIsTheBestFriend]

Silly bicker this morning with MIL. I take baby with me when I take the bins/recycling downstairs and I bought a second compact travel pram that I can carry downstairs while I’m carrying DS for when we’re going out.

MIL says I’m “utterly ridiculous and precious” and baby can be left in the flat alone either sleeping or awake while I take the big pram downstairs or deal with the bins etc. Baby is 10.5m and VERY active - can walk, climbs absolutely everything (climbs cot if not in his sleeping bag, can climb on sofa etc). Flat is 3rd floor.

DH works away from home for a couple of weeks at a time so not a case of being able to deal with bins etc at night when he gets home from work.

Would you leave the baby alone in the flat? 😅 am I being a precious FTM? 😬

Yes if settled in cot for the night, no if awake . And I would never leave a baby in a high chair, several DC I know have fell out and required hospital visits

I was in that situation and left dc in the cot.

In my opinion it's not only 100x easier but also safer - dc is quite safe in the cot for 2 minutes (where they spend 10-12 hours alone each day). It's more dangerous carry them downstairs under one arm or in a sling while you also carry a heavy bin bag or pram, then they are near the driveway/road depending on where your bins are.

But I wouldn't think it was weird or make a comment if you told me what you did, it's fine. MILs comment was rude.

I lived in a 3rd floor walk up when my first was a baby. The bin thing is ridiculous, I would just wait until your husband/partner gets home and do it then. How much rubbish can you generate in the day? The small foldable stroller is a great idea- anything to avoid doing the stairs twice! But if I had lot of shopping I would sometimes leave it in the lobby, pop DD in her cot with a few toys then go back for the bags.

I would get a sling, my daughter at 14 months spends half her life on my back as i know where she is, she can't get into trouble, and means I cant end up locked out while she is inside.

I live in a flat, I always took my son with me to the bin etc until he was about 5, even when I was leaving him to do it I made sure not to if he was asleep.

I'd use a baby carrier too. The ergo is good.

And if you don’t have a husband/partner coming home, @LakeshoreD ?

I’m sure the ideal answer to a lot of these quandaries is to get someone else to pitch in, but in many situations there’s just one adult available.

@LakeShoreD

I lived in a 3rd floor walk up when my first was a baby. The bin thing is ridiculous, I would just wait until your husband/partner gets home and do it then. How much rubbish can you generate in the day? The small foldable stroller is a great idea- anything to avoid doing the stairs twice! But if I had lot of shopping I would sometimes leave it in the lobby, pop DD in her cot with a few toys then go back for the bags.

@LakeShoreD My DH works away from home for 3 weeks at a time 😊 so waiting until he comes home isn’t really an option! MIL comes to visit once every 10 days or so and we have no other visitors really 😊

@YvesEveEave

I lived in a flat with dc1. I was the same as you! No way would I leave the flat without her. I actually almost never used the pram as a result, as it was a pita with the stairs. I used a sling a lot. But maybe at 10.5 mo she's getting heavier and it might not be practical for big trips out. We moved when dd was that age, so it became a non issue... although then she hated her pushchair and refused to go in it, so it maybe backfired a bit.

Basically YANBU.

@YvesEveEave He loves his pram and settles well in it whereas he doesn’t really nap when in the carrier so for us, investing in the compact pram was worth it 😊 if I’m just popping out to grab a few bits in the local shops or whatever then he goes in the carrier though 😊 We had planned to move while pregnant but then...covid 🙄🤣 a LOT of job uncertainty for DH as job involves international travel so we just had to make the decision to hold off for a while and deal with the flat. Now house prices have skyrocketed 🤣 still planning to move but will be a year or so yet!

@maofteens my daughter is safe in her highchair, she is strapped and doesn't try to climb out or struggle in it.... 😂

I love in a flat, always took baby down with me if I had to go down, probably a bit paranoid tbh but was worried that I would get locked out, or a fire would start and I couldn’t get back in or ……. You get the picture. If I lived in a house I would have been fine with popping out for a second. Can you use a sling?

Ah sorry yes you have a carrier

None of her business. Do what sits best with you.

I have, when visiting relatives, strapped my son into his car seat for situations when I need to do something and needed him to stay put.

But in my own flat I would just nip down with the bins when he was asleep.

If MIL is so concerned she can take the bins out when she visits :D

I live 2 flights of stairs up from our bin room. My children are 4.5 and 2.5 and it's only very recently I will leave them with the tv on and nip the bins down. I did it when eldest was a young baby and immobile but not when she started moving. Ignore your MIL.

When DD was a baby and I was alone in the flat she’d have to come with me. I borrowed a sling from a friend as the lifts were often broken. She was a big baby so very heavy but I couldn’t leave her home alone. Thank goodness she was an early walker as I had her on reigns by 9 months.
You aren’t being precious you are being sensible.

Sorry OP didn’t realise your husband worked away a lot. That adds a level of complication I agree! When my DH used to travel (feels like 1000 years ago now), I used to do the bins once baby was asleep at night and be quick about it. No way would I drag bin bags down the stairs with a baby strapped to me in a sling but I did have a whopper baby and we lived there until she was 2. It was hard enough lifting the lid of the giant communal dumpster as is, I’d genuinely be worried about falling over from the weight distribution with a toddler in a carrier. But you’re no doubt fitter than me! The most important thing is though that you have a system that works for you. It isn’t any of your MILs business how you get chores done.

Apologies if I’m missing something, but could you not just take the rubbish down at night when your baby is asleep?

I'm the same, I just can't leave baby in the flat for a second. What if the key malfunctioned and I couldn't get back or there was a fire or any seriously unlikely event that my neurotic mum mode mind conjures up!

My favourite is when I get down to the car, ready to go and then realise I've forgotten something. Baby back out of the car and up the stairs again to get it...the joys of living in a flat with a baby.

I leave the pram in the car so I am only carrying baby up and down.

You're not being ridiculous, jusr do what's best for your peace of mind. Personally I have only left my baby alone as I took the pram downstairs (living in a flat as well) as quickly as possible, but it always felt quite wrong and I am looking into getting a lightweight one to avoid this in the future. If you're not comfortable leaving your baby alone, that's where the conversation should stop, there's no need to further explain yourself, in my opinion. It is your decision how to deal with it and I find your approach understandable.

@peasoup8

Apologies if I’m missing something, but could you not just take the rubbish down at night when your baby is asleep?

Not missing the point as that's the entire point of the thread 😆- OP doesn't want to leave the baby breifly even if asleep!