Declining the health visiting service

[Sleeplessem]

I’m 29 weeks pregnant with my second and I’m thinking about opting out or declining the HV service past the 6 week weight check. I’m happy to have the 1 year and 2 year development reviews, it’s just the weight clinics. Does anyone know if you can actually do this? My reason for not wanting to go, isn’t bashing health visitors as a whole (I know there are good and bad in every profession, although I do think in health care you can’t have ‘bad eggs’) but it is based on the abysmal advice and service I had with my first.
I think of my local area there are just one or 2 HVs that provide advice in line with NHS guidelines, the rest of what we’ve been told is utter nonsense and ultimately caused a lot of stress unnecessarily so I’d rather avoid if possible.

Reasons below:
My actually HV is ok, but incredibly lazy. Refused to help support breastfeeding and said I was only allowed 3 chances to get it right and then I had to move to formula (made no sense at the time either). She’s also given advice that directly contradicts the nhs, ie around water to babies under 6 months and snacks under 12 months.

My daughter was a low birth weight but classed as constitutionally small, birth notes explain this, but at every weight check we we berated about her size, until 6 months she tracked consistently between 2nd and 9th centile and then after 6 months between 9/25th. She’s stayed in this place til 2, it’s clearly where she is meant to be. We’ve been told she’s too small still but they refused to write referrals to a paediatrician for further investigation rather insisted she needed to be force fed. I was told social services would be called if I carried on breast feeding (under a year she was having solids too), that she’s too pale and that’s a sign her diet is lacking, (it’s not her blood work is fine which they had a recent print out for, they are also saying this as she mixed race as she doesn’t have a sickly complexion but she is fair). There are more comments such as these but these are the ones off the top of my head. Basically weight clinics were nightmare, always saw a different HV and this sort of issue was constantly brought up with an undertone of accusations of neglect and each of the issues they raised they refused to refer. We paid private so get her seen by a paediatrician who we now see 6 monthly on the nhs as hes aware of the issues the HVs raised , was disgusted and wanted his notes on her medical records, he also monitors her growth. We paid for a paediatric dietitian who evaluated her eating and said she’s fine and developmentally normal, both of these consultants were aghast at the comments made and how there was no clinical basis. It was attributed to not understanding child growth and poor breastfeeding training. We bought a proper calibrated baby scale during lockdown when weigh in clinics stopped so I will monitor dc2s weight gain. I’ve a great relationship with the infant feeding team and know they’ll support in the case of breastfeeding issues and likewise my daughters paed is fantastic so would pay private to go to him and he’d refer back to nhs.
In summary my reasons for not wanting the HV weight checks is just to avoid the headache. But equally I don’t want them calling social services as that would be a headache too.

Anyone else opted half out like I’m considering? Again I’m happy for the checks up to 6 weeks and then the 1 year and 2 year development check, but in the interim it’s been a complete 0 value add. Tbh even the development checks we do with the paed but I’m happy to do them with the Hv too xxx

I never went to a weighing clinic and didn’t opt out of anything, just didn’t go. Are you sure you have to opt out?

I’ve had 2 children in different health boards and didn’t for either btw

I just didn’t go. Took the dc for jabs, checks at 2 years, and if they needed the dr but nothing else, after I was given very bad advice about something feeding related with my eldest.
Just don’t go. They won’t even notice.

Well it is an appointment based service so I’m guessing you could just not make one and thus not turn up. I did forget once with my first and she called me and reminded me to get her booked on ASAP. I wasn’t sure if it would trigger anything?

I think you should make a formal complaint. Apart from that, just don't go.

My DS is 2. We haven't seen the HV past 6 weeks. The weigh in clinics were held at the library before covid and that was optional. You didn't have to go but was recommended to keep an eye on their weight.

The year check we had at 10 months via zoom. They haven't even bothered to contact me about the 2 year one yet 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I never went to any weigh clinics with mine.

I ended up complaining to the infant feeding lead for my trust, basically I was so distressed about their advice to force feed and scared social services would be called about breastfeeding and my daughter not gaining what they deemed to be enough weight (tracking the centile line but not moving up) she was horrified and escalated it. I couldn’t remember the specific HVs name who said it. She also told me she does breastfeeding and introducing solids training and not one of them show up and countless people are coming to them in tears over awful advice around breastfeeding.

I seen them for the 10 day check and in my area they do a pre birth appointment, I guess they don’t in other areas, I saw them for both as I didn’t want to flag up as a “concern” but after the 10 day check I just never went to the clinic and didn’t hear from them again until she 2 and I declined the check

Ah you see I was told by them it’s ‘cause for concern’ if you don’t go and social services can get triggered.

I also don’t really want them snooping around my house this time like they did before

Yes some areas are funny, my area they call ss if you won’t see them at the 10 day check

I don't remember it being compulsory to go but I did go (something to do, and usually went if I'd got a question about something). I think if you're happy weighing at home then just doing the 6 week check and the development ones (which you can just get off the internet anyway and you'll get far more info from your childcare provider anyway, as you know, if you'll use one) would be fine?

I was going to say I'll probably take this baby too but what you've posted reminded me that nobody (midwife or HV) actually pointed out that my DD was technically SGA and should really have been a bit more closely monitored, I didn't find out she ticked that box til my 12 week appointment with baby number two!

I didn’t even realize you were supposed to go.

I’ve never had an appointment / invitation to see HV apart from the 12 & 24 mth checks. She has never been weighed / seen by anyone.

Which was handy as the HV treated me like I was a 16 yo who accidentally got pregnant (am 40+, married for 2 decades & educated to post grad level…)

I haven't seen or heard from
My HV since LO was 6 weeks old. She's 16m now. No weigh in clinics or anything offered. Presume covid was the excuse.

Though other than check where the Abby slept, she did t go any where in y house.

Only came on day 3, then rang on week 6z

I wouldn't stress about them tbh

There are no weighing clinics round here anymore.

Plus I had a Covid baby so have seen mine once. I don’t think you need to worry.

With DC2 I didn't hear or see from the HV between the 10 day check and 2.5 year check, via phone. They still haven't seen DC. Obviously took them for jabs at a year. Its all very odd.

If you’re experience would have been anything like mine @8dpwoah you’re lucky they didn’t monitor more. It seems midwives and HVs (and actually quite a few other medical professionals I’ve learned) don’t really understand small babies and they get extremely fixated on weight, the higher the weight and the higher the centile the better. Bit high centile doesn’t equate to healthy automatically 🤷‍♀️

I went to one weighing clinic and I don’t actually remember them recording that you went, other than in DD’s red book. So I’m not sure how they’d know if I never went, or if I went all the time.
We didn’t bother with the 1 or 2 year checks - they sent us the form of things to check they could do, DD could, so we never booked the appointment. They didn’t follow it up.
After the HV told me that me feeling suicidal with PND was “just a phase” and to call back in a few days once it passed, I’ve not wanted anything to do with them really.

I had an hv visit once, it was horrendous and I told her not to come back. I didn't engage with the 6 week/1 year checks etc as a result.

I did get a phone call from the health visitor team when she was about 3 and I said why I had had nothing to do with them, they were quite nice and just said if I needed them to give them a call.

DC1 I had one visit at 6 weeks old where she sat in the living room mostly told me how busy and overworked she was, never heard from her again, got a questionnaire in the post at 9 months (for a 1 year check?) and I called and told them we were moving so to take us off their list. Never went to a weigh clinic. Went abroad, came back, was never assigned another.

DC2 all virtual cos covid. I had a phone call at a couple of weeks old, got an invite to a video call for the 6 week check that I didn’t join as it came through with about 2 hours notice. Baby is now 7 months and I haven’t heard from her again. No idea if weight clinics have even reopened as not interested anyway.

I’d interact once, be all friendly, say everything is great and chance are you’ll never hear from them again.

So many of my friends have got themselves in a tizzy over breastfeeding as a direct result of comments made by HVs. I have no idea how they can claim to be promoting it when all they do is make mothers think they’re doing it wrong.

In my area weight clinic is on a drop in basis, so I just never dropped in. Doesn't seem to have triggered anything. They turn up at your house for the first few, so you would have to actively decline if you weren't happy to do the initial checks, but after the 10 day check you have to actively seek then out if you have concerns.

With the continuing cutbacks in service provision, you are highly unlikely to see your HV after your 6 week check unless you opt to attend her clinic or you are on an enhanced service caseload and need additional support.

Oh yes I agree about the BF.
Mine was 23, couldn't turn up on time, answered every question with "I don't know, I'm not an expert". She couldn't define precisely what her role was and told me it was her job to make sure my baby was immunised and breastfeeding was important and best.

She instructed me to attend weighing clinics (filthy places in those days) and I couldn't establish if they were compulsory. She was also incapable of recording information correctly. When I was desperate for BF help She told me to phone the NCT and suggested meanwhile I wrap myself in a blanket and sit before the fire to let my nipples heal.

I still don't understand what she was playing at but my personal complaint led to me establishing that there is an obligation to offer the service to all mothers but no obligation to accept it. However, according to AIMS the HV service is now much more proactive about referring people who don't wish to engage to SS and use it increasingly as a threat.

It is essential this shambolic excuse for a service is made much more transparent.

The saddest thing is that my hv now teaches public health to trainees - God help the next generation.

It is an optional service that I never used.

See how it goes but if you don't wish to partake of it then don't feel you have to.