Should we move out of London?

[Sheerdetermination]

I have the chance to move to the North West (Altrincham area) with work. This would mean moving within 30 mins of my family but away from many of our friends. I want to do what’s best from my DC who is 1, but not sure what that is. I’m also nervous about getting out of the London property market in case we one day want to come back. DP would prefer to stay but would go with the flow and is a SAHD so is not tied by work. Would you do it? Have you done it, and would you recommend it? I’d appreciate the perspective of others as it’s hard to see the wood for the trees.

There are so many factors and they are so personal that it's absolutely impossible to say.

I personally would not. I love London and we have plenty of space, green, and community here. I love the vibrancy of the city and it offers me far more career opportunities than anywhere else in the country ever could. It would be nice for my kids to see their cousins more but we manage regular visits. Also my DC are older and my oldest is settled in school, and the schools here are great.

For other people it'd be a no-brainer to go. You'll have to weigh it up individually, considering a range of possible futures.

I personally wouldn’t. London is great for little kids - there are so many free activities on in my local area. And they’re all accessible on foot or by public transport - I would hate to have to drive everywhere personally.

It’s also excellent for older children - they will never be bored living in London!

If you are worried c leaving London because you can’t afford to come back, then you don’t want to go do don’t.

The chances are you’ll have better job ops, and it’s much easier to parent teens in a city, both of which help to make up for the property prices abs commute time.

Left last year, best thing we ever did (but we weren’t on the property ladder). I guess lockdown pushed us, as none of the museums or places of interest were open anyway. So it seemed pointless being in a smaller home with no garden with no real benefits.

We now live on the rural outskirts of a town, I feel healthier (clean air/low traffic) and just so much less stressed. My toddler loves country walks and we’ve made some lovely new friends. I guess, as other posters have said - it’s such an individual decision. We like our new slower paced existence.

If you are in Altrincham you're a few tram stops away from Manchester so there will be absolutely no shortage of stuff to do with your DC and they will be able to do things for themselves when older. You also have access to excellent schools. I lived in London in my 20s, in a very well paid job, and loved it. I live in Manchester as a parent and absolutely wouldn't go back to London. I have so many more options here and can afford so much more. Only you know the implications for you, professionally and personally. If you're not sure can you rent out your London home for a few years to see whether you want to live in Altrincham on a more permanent basis? Personally I'd go for it

Tough one. I'm a Londoner & live near my family. personally I find that invaluable when dc are young but we both work.

The OP is talking about Altrincham, it's not a deserted wasteland with nothing to do! 😄

I wouldn't necessarily stay for friends though, I have lost my NCT group, neighbours & lots of dc schools friends. We are actually thinking of moving to the outskirts because that's where our older friends (from our youth) have settled & I actually miss them.

Both are good choices - as pp said, Altrincham isn’t exactly a desolate village!

It depends on your relationship with your family.

I lived in London for 9 years, had both dc there. Fantastic job, good network of friends, nice (but small!) house.

Tbh I thought we were very settled in London. But I noticed how I was feeling pangs of jealousy when our next door neighbour's family would visit, when friends who had family in London would talk about seeing their family etc.

We left London and moved home to Aus, near my family. I live around the corner from my cousin who has DC the same age as mine and it's so great having that shared connection for dc.

My only regret is we didn't do it sooner.

So for me it would be a vote to move closer to your family.

It’s so useful to hear all your thoughts and experiences - thank you!

@BootsScootsandToots, I’ve felt that pang - not least when next door’s little boy had a birthday party and it was attended by his family. Did you move back to Australia?

@Igmum - what are the extra options you have in Manchester?

I would stay.

I moved back home for family once I had kids. I wasn’t quite in London itself but close enough that our social life was there. & we paid London prices for our house etc. We did rent, never in a month of Sundays could we afford to buy there. Back home in Yorkshire, I earn the same (actually a bit more but not loads) & own a large 4 bed 🤷🏼‍♀️

But family was the reason. I’m close to them & my children having a relationship with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc was really important to me. And I’m not going to lie, the childcare both during the week & for the occasional date night is invaluable!

Friends is a hard one. Mine were fairly transient, no real best friends or strong group. That would have made it harder. I now have a strong network of friends in Yorkshire, our kids are friends & I’d struggle to leave them!

People in London seem to think there is nothing to do with kids or as adults in the rest of the country. It makes me chuckle. There are baby & children's activities/classes coming out my ears where I live. Anything you want from baby sensory, music classes, baby massage, baby yoga, messy play, art classes, sing & sign, baby swim lessons, outdoor education classes, gymnastic centres, tumble tots.. I could go on. Splash parks. Parks. Museums. Country Parks. Farms. Zoos. Billions of softplays. Trampoline Parks. Major nearby cities with all the shops & restaurants you could want.

But of course, it’s grim up north 😉

We live in Altrincham and spent ten years pre children in london. No way I would choose to raise kids in London over raising them here!
Fab community, leafy streets, great shopping, foodie market, close to large green spaces etc, fabulous schools,

Love loving here!

Depends
What part of London you are in? Isit gang Central with lots of shootings and you live in a flat?

Or do you live in hmm chelsea / Kensington or another area like this in a big house?

If its the top one then I'd move. If it was the latter I'd stay

People in London seem to think there is nothing to do with kids or as adults in the rest of the country.

As a born & raised Londoner I don't think my teenage years were very different to teens in other cities, large towns.

We moved from london to near Altrincham (Bowdon) 5 years ago, just before our DC were due to start school.
Don’t regret it one bit - lots going on for the kids and for us too, and there are a lot of people in the area who have made similar moves so found it quite easy to make friends. Great schools too. We lived in Richmond and find it to be quite similar

By the way Altrincham/Bowdon property prices not dissimilar to London although you will get more space, so don’t worry about jumping off the property ladder! But we did rent for two years before buying just to make sure we didn’t make a rush decision.

@garannenee

People in London seem to think there is nothing to do with kids or as adults in the rest of the country.

As a born & raised Londoner I don't think my teenage years were very different to teens in other cities, large towns.

I'm sure Manchester is lovely, but it's not London, and for my adult self, I want London and everything it offers.

@BuffySummersReportingforSanity what's that got to do with my post?

Rent your place out in London and that way you have options. If your child is only one then you have a few years grace before you have to decide about a school.
My one worry is your DH as a SAHD being isolated in a new area away from friends.
Definitely don't sell your London property unless you are absolutely certain.

I would second what @Coffeeonmytoffee says. That would be a good safeguard. Moving within spitting distance if another major city and family seems like a great idea to me. You may also find that your current circle of friends is decimated in a few years. Our DS has just started high school where we are now, and there are only 2 sets of friends left in our previous 'nappy valley' in London. The only secondary school options where we used to live were exorbitant/private, dodgy state, or highly selective grammar with long train commute. So midway through primary, everyone started leaving. I know it seems a million miles away when your kid is only 1, but it's worth looking ahead when you are thinking of doing something long-term like move cities.

Well if I was a SAHD I wouldn't agree to leave as London will have better opportunities for getting back on the career ladder. Living near the working parents family over friends is unfair on the stay at home parent

London is fab, I loved my ten years there, but its not the be all and end all. I moved to a small city in Ireland to be near family when my son was little, then moved to the other side of the world, on a bit of a whim really! That was the best move I ever made (although I do miss my folks). I've had no regrets, I love the thought that I have lived different lives in very different places. But its really up to you, some people don't like moving, so do. Good luck whatever you decide.

@Snowdrop30 I have to say I've been quite annoyed by everyone leaving. Not at them but the situation. My youngest starts nursery this wk & I can't really be bothered with the meet ups. It's like why invest time in relationships that don't last.

We are debating about moving before high school to an area thats less transient.
It's weird I live in pretty much the same part of London I grew up in & my friends from school are still my friends today & my parents friends still lived on my road for a long time but even my mum is moaning about her friends leaving. Lots are either moving to be closer to their gc because London prices are too high for their dc or need to move to out to give their dc a deposit.

How long term is your DH planning to be a SAHD? And what are his return to work plans?

It would be tough on him to leave his friends/network and exchanging that for your family, unless he really loves them, would feel like a poor deal

Having said that, Manchester is great and you would have a lot of the benefits of being in a big city without the London price tag.

How well do you get on with your family?

We did it last year and we are so pleased we did. We are now half an hour from family which makes a huge difference though so was one of the major pull factors for us. We had lived in London for 10 years. I felt we wouldn't really be able to afford a bigger house with an extra bedroom or in a nicer area in London. I did love our area for lots of reasons but I honestly feel in awe of the area we now live in and how lucky my daughter is to live here. We have huge green spaces on our doorstep and even the local park looks like Kew Gardens half the time 😂. The schools and nursery are better and there are more of them. People are friendlier. The pace of life is a bit calmer. Our new house is bigger and in a properly nice area on a lovely street for less money than we sold our old (lovely) house for in London which was in a cool area but not on a particularly lovely street. I do miss London a bit and I miss my mates and my old life but I'm also excited for the life we will have here and for the childhood my children will have.

Altrincham is a really cool area from what I understand (and expensive because of it!) with lots of young families and things to do so I'm sure you would love it.

I would say make the leap and see how it goes. Yes it would be difficult to move back to London if you desperately wanted to but it wouldn't be impossible and your child is the right age to move without the constraints of schools to worry about imminently. You might find you love it- you would never have known without trying it.

Not sure what sort of 'options' you are thinking of OP but for me professionally I really don't have to be in London (senior academic). I own a nice house in a leafy area with fabulous shops, coffee places, restaurants and public transport. When I was on maternity leave (in the times before Covid) I attended baby and toddler groups every day - from Aquababies and Gym babies to the simple turn up and play ones. My area has excellent schools, both state and private. We are theatre buffs (again a relic of the Before Times but things are starting up again) and could probably be out most nights at the theatre if we had the energy. Altrincham has some pretty nice indie shops and restaurants plus a popular market and an ice rink.

We are also a short drive away from countryside, some nice National Trust properties and general wide open spaces.

If you feel the pull of the Metropolis there's an excellent train service to London with great food and drink in First Class.

Set against this I know what my many friends in London went through with kids - housing is far more expensive, so they end up in much less desirable properties, workmen are harder to get when they do need things done and schools seem to be crazily competitive with everyone struggling for access to the decent ones. I realise that, in some professions, you really don't have an option and need to stay in London for your career. I am so glad I am not in one of those and don't have to compromise personal and family security so that I can be in London.

But these things are all personal - if you would rather stay in London don't let me put you off, it is entirely your decision - good luck!