i all,
this may be a bit longwinded and I do apologise but I have struggled for so long in silence and I just cannot do it anymore. I need help or advice or to be pointed in the right direction.
It’s a very straight forward case of separated parents, however with a twist.
I have looked after my two children, daughter 4 and son 2 for quite some time now. My daughter is my best friend and side kick. To give you a rough idea, out of the past 150 days the mother has seen our children and had them overnight 28 times. I rent my own property alongside my partner who is also heavily involved in my children’s lives, as she has been there for them as a step mum for over the past 2 years.
my partner works full time and I do the stay at home duties whilst working on my own personal business venture from home, we haven’t claimed and do not claim money for the children, we just make do and quite frankly, get through by the skin of our teeth each month.
the mother claims both sets of benefits, has an under the counter paid job and doesn’t have the children very often to worry about her funds dwindling..
now here’s the tricky part - my daughters school term starts this coming Monday, and she is demanding them both home. My daughter is in absolute misery and trauma and can’t for the life of her stop crying. We have just had the best summer holidays and she was looking forward to starting a new school and for me to be taking her. Now she knows she’ll have to spend 5 days a week at her mums, it just isn’t fair on her.
I don’t know what to do. This women hasn’t seen her children but has been out drinking and been with more men than you can count on one hand, she isn’t even aware of what my daughter does or doesn’t like, she shows no interest only when she has to or it will be questioned, I.e birthdays, Christmas.
It’s not as black and white as it seems, whenever I pick my son back up, he is always in a soiled nappy, he is always unwashed and always seems to be in some state of distress.
I am unsure of the people she has in the house but I am very aware that she has had a wanted criminal in the presence of my children and then her most recent partner has been denied access to his children for domestic violence, but now potentially may be around my babies?
me and my partner have had multiple incidents where we have had to ring the police in order to remove her from near our property or due to threats.
the hard part - I am not on my daughters birth certificate nor am I biological, she had, at the time 3 years ago, paid for a fake dna test in order to make me believe I was the father. By the time I had found out, she was already pregnant with my son, and by this point me and my daughter had already created a bond beyond belief, blood or not, I am her dad and she is my daughter. No test could ever make me turn my back on my princess. Bio dad is not interested and said he wants no inclusion when he had first heard she was conceived.
my son I am fully on the birth certificate and I am also bio.
what do I do..