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Parenting

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Original poster

Dummies / pacifiers

57 replies

RandomCatGenerator · 01/09/2021 09:38

Hello everyone

I have a 2 week old bottle fed baby. I know he needs non nutritive sucking as well as nutritive so I’m wondering about dummies.

What age did you start giving your child a dummy? Did you have any particular rules for dummy use? Is there anything in terms of pitfalls I should know about in dummy use?

I was a thumb sucker until I was maybe ten years old; my sister sucked her thumb for even longer. Is there anything in terms of starting and maintaining dummy use that would prevent him getting addicted in this way, if that’s even a thing?

Thanks!

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Ihatenicknames · 01/09/2021 09:44

We used a dummy with both DC. Introduced at a very early age and limited to when they were in their cot or car seat. No issues with speech development and given up without issues by the time they were both two. Good luck.

InDubiousBattle · 01/09/2021 09:48

We gave both of our dc dummies from very early on, 2 weeks of so (it took dd a while to learn how to take one though). I'm a big fan! No rules when they were very tiny, just for sleep when they got a bit bigger. They both have them up with no real fuss at 3.

Abouttimemum · 01/09/2021 09:53

DS was given a dummy by the nurses in neonatal so he had one from birth. By 3 months we only gave it to him for sleep or in the car and by 6 months just for sleep. He’d usually spit it out once in a deep sleep anyway. We’d take it off him as soon as he woke.

He’s 2.5 now and about 6 months ago started chewing through the teat so we took them off him altogether and there’s been no issues.

I’d just avoid giving them to him when awake.

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mrsed1987 · 01/09/2021 09:54

My son was about 4 days old. Once he got to about a year he just had it for sleeping. He has just got rid of it completely at 2.5. He has no speech issues but his top teeth are pushed out. So is recommend getting rid sooner than I have!

m0therofdragons · 01/09/2021 09:56

Dummies were given to dtds in special care (much to the midwife’s horror). One rejected them and sucked here fingers (still does age 10 for sleeping). Dtd2 loved her dummy but happy gave it up to the dummy fairy at 3.

MrsG30 · 01/09/2021 09:56

Child 1 had a dummy once we swapped to bottle feeding around 6 weeks.

Child 2 is is ebf and I lasted about a week before giving a dummy.

lovemenomore · 01/09/2021 09:58

Never gave our DC a dummy. Personally can't stand seeing a newborn with one shoved in their mouth! Obviously everyone is different but we didn't feel it was what we wanted and dc never knew any different.

m0therofdragons · 01/09/2021 09:58

Re teeth - minimise dummy use to sleep times but:

Dd1 sucked nothing - really bad teeth that need braces (getting them this week)
Dd2 - sucks fingers. Great teeth slightly out but only noticeable when compared to her identical twin
Dd3 - had a dummy. Perfect teeth.

m0therofdragons · 01/09/2021 10:00

@lovemenomore maybe you’d be me judgey if you realised doctors advise them for some premature babies to strengthen their suck?

FuckingFlumps · 01/09/2021 10:06

@lovemenomore

I love comments like this, so bloody judgemental and ill informed.

No one shoves a dummy in a babies mouth, if a baby doesn't want to suck on a dummy they won't. Additionally for many early prem babies a dummy is given to improve their sucking reflex by believe it or not medical professionals. Add to this the fact they help reduce the rates of SIDs dummies are a winner in my opinion.

We gave DS one at 4 weeks old. He would still have it now at 20months if he hadn't started biting through the tests. He gave it up no problem but it was a lifesaver when he had it.

Nannylp · 01/09/2021 10:06

I gave my DS a dummy when he was 4 weeks old, it was a real game changer for us, he was so much more settled with it. I was just careful to keep an eye out for hunger signs so that I kept my milk supply up for him.
For reasons I can't really remember I removed the dummy at 6 months when I did sleep training, I wish I had kept it now as he immediately found his thumb and now at 2 years is a dedicated thumb sucker! I worry so much about his teeth.
I think it very much depends on the baby to be honest as I have friends whose DC were not even slightly interested in dummies or thumbs!

Wagglerock · 01/09/2021 11:18

4 weeks with DS, only because we were resisting it but he was a sucky baby and loved it. Went to naps and nighttime only at about 8mo and then ditched it at 2.

DD has never taken to one.

BaringasMare · 01/09/2021 11:33

Mine wouldn’t ever take a dummy. I’m just embracing the thumb sucking 🙈

Bunny2021 · 01/09/2021 11:42

@lovemenomore - ours was given one in NICU by the consultant. Sometimes this decision is taken out of your hands.

OP - we give our 5wo a dummy every now and again. Sometimes he just needs something to distract him - he gets really worked up with trapped wind and for us it’s putting the pin back in the grenade and allows him to calm down.

tigerbreadandtea · 01/09/2021 11:48

Gave baby one from about a month because she had horrendous colic and it was the only way to calm her down.

OrangeTortoise · 01/09/2021 12:31

DC1 had a dummy from 4-5 weeks and gave it up spontaneously at 16 months
DC2 refused a dummy and sucked her thumb - we had a difficult time trying to get her to give it up
DC3 was a very 'sucky' baby and absolutely loved his dummy but eventually gave them up at 4 yo (after a visit from the dummy fairy)

ElspethFlashman · 01/09/2021 12:44

I'm someone who sucked their thumb until 12, and my thumb is a bit flat as a result so I always swore I wouldn't let my kids suck their thumbs.

Dummies are great, they absolutely solve a lot of problems. We started early. Pinned it onto the front of the sleep bag and when they could find it themselves it was brilliant.

There's a period when they're turning 3 and you suddenly feel this pressure to drop it, but you just snip them or give them to the fairy and you get there in the end.

Whereas if they end up sucking their thumb its a nightmare to end!

Neither of mine have ever Sucked their thumb so I'm really grateful for dummies.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 01/09/2021 12:57

I used a dummy and im convinved its why he self settled for most naps from 5 months onwards.

If I were to have another id use one again.

SNKB14 · 01/09/2021 13:01

I used to give my DS a dummy just to settle to sleep and would take it out of his mouth once he was asleep, so he wouldn’t rely on it. He didn’t need the dummy past 6-8 months.
Currently 33 weeks with DS2 and plan to do the same with him

billiebeeme · 01/09/2021 13:28

Absolutely love a dummy! Well not me my kids did 😂

I started giving eldest it in hospital they actually asked if I had one coz she just wanted to suck all day. She wasn't that interested sometimes first few weeks but got addicted as they all do which is the draw back as they get older.
My sil refused to give her kids one but jeez when the baby is screaming place down I can't help but think give that child a dummy!

I did get it off my eldest at 2 1/2 very easily which I was stunned at as she LOVED it and wld have had it in all the time if I hadn't taken it off her. At around 2 I started taking it off her during the day and only giving of she was unwell or upset and at bed time only.

Youngest is nearly 2 and she's so much more whingey so god knows how long I'll let her have it. She has it quite a bit during the day and now asks for it 🙈 going to potty train just after her 2nd birthday so we will start tackling the dummy after that but I think she'll be harder and therefore maybe closer to 3 by time we ditch it.

Original poster

RandomCatGenerator · 01/09/2021 14:59

Lots of very very helpful advice here - thank you so much everyone.

OP posts:

Original poster

RandomCatGenerator · 01/09/2021 17:26

@Bunny2021 I have a similar issue with DS, he gets horrendous wind and it’s hard to distract him. Wondering if this could help.

OP posts:

Original poster

RandomCatGenerator · 01/09/2021 17:27

Tell me more about the dummy fairy?!

OP posts:

ElspethFlashman · 01/09/2021 17:33

The dummy fairy collects the dummies to give them to the newborn babies.

You go out and hang them on a tree and they're gone in the morning and there's a trinket as a present instead (optional).

We didn't need to do that though. I snipped them with a nail scissors (told them they must have bitten through them) and they literally lost interest after a while.

Mine were 3.5/4 which is frowned upon here but my single goal was just to have them gone by school.

Reallyreallyborednow · 01/09/2021 17:35

Never gave our DC a dummy. Personally can't stand seeing a newborn with one shoved in their mouth!

Better than an older child, even an adult who can’t or won’t give up a thumb .

Never got the dummy judgement, and some peoples preference for thumb sucking.

Dummies will have far fewer effects on teeth/physically, because you can control their use, and remove them completely at a reasonable age.

I was far more bothered about giving up the dummy when one fell over shortly after and I realised there was no dummy to soothe them rapidly!

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