Dummies / pacifiers

[RandomCatGenerator]

Hello everyone

I have a 2 week old bottle fed baby. I know he needs non nutritive sucking as well as nutritive so I’m wondering about dummies.

What age did you start giving your child a dummy? Did you have any particular rules for dummy use? Is there anything in terms of pitfalls I should know about in dummy use?

I was a thumb sucker until I was maybe ten years old; my sister sucked her thumb for even longer. Is there anything in terms of starting and maintaining dummy use that would prevent him getting addicted in this way, if that’s even a thing?

Thanks!

@ElspethFlashman amazing. Noted for future!

@Reallyreallyborednow I think same as every decision in parenting - there are always people who judge no matter what you do! It does feel a bit like you can’t make any decision to do with babies that doesn’t have strong feelings on both sides

I have my son one at 2 weeks. He was a sucky, refluxy baby and it helped calm him down enormously. Previous to that he sucked my fingers all the time because he couldn't find his own. He didn't have it on a day time just when he slept.
He turned 3 in the May and in October November time we kept going on about that he was such a big boy now that he should think about giving his dummy to a small baby who needed it. If he thought he could do that he could leave it out for Father Christmas to take away and he would be left a special present as a thank you. Worked like a charm, he happily have up his dummy, got a present, job done. He asked me a month later if he could have his dummy and I reminded him that he had given it away for a small baby to have and got a present in return, he was just like oh ok I remember and that was it.

DD1 had one from about 4 weeks or maybe less. She has an undiagnosed allergy and was in a lot of pain with reflux and it helped her a lot. From 1 year old they were strictly for nap time or bed time. They went she was 2 and half and said she would give them to the dummy fairy if she brought her make up.

DD2 wouldn’t take one.

No dummy here, babies don't need non nutritive sucking

@gogohm

No dummy here, babies don't need non nutritive sucking

Such a short sighted viewpoint. Your child might not have benefitted form having something to suck but millions of other babies do.

@lovemenomore

Never gave our DC a dummy. Personally can't stand seeing a newborn with one shoved in their mouth! Obviously everyone is different but we didn't feel it was what we wanted and dc never knew any different.

I think it looks adorable...baby with a dummy.

I'd rather have had one shoved in my mouth than never have had one and become a thumb sucker until I was 10. Thumb sucking cannot be policed especially at night. I ended up with years of needing braces. A dummy can be taken away, you can't cut their thumb off.

I absolutely didn't want to use dummies. They look awful and I didn't want it to lead to thumb sucking etc.
But it was the only way to stop my baby crying constantly. I can't remember when I started using them but it was after a few months. She never wanted one at night. After a few months she didn't need one and everything has been fine since (she's 18mths).

Chillll just my opinion!

I get the need in premature babies - I wasn't generalising!

@ElspethFlashman

The dummy fairy collects the dummies to give them to the newborn babies.

You go out and hang them on a tree and they're gone in the morning and there's a trinket as a present instead (optional).

We didn't need to do that though. I snipped them with a nail scissors (told them they must have bitten through them) and they literally lost interest after a while.

Mine were 3.5/4 which is frowned upon here but my single goal was just to have them gone by school.

On a similar vein to the dummy fairy, I used the Toys "R" Us ruse. They went bust, but any current toy retailer will do. I and DS, (and a few years later, DD), gathered up all the dummies and put them in a bag. We went to Toys "R" Us and I asked them to choose whatever toy they wanted, (within reason). I asked the salesperson on the till to help me, and he/she pretended to take the dummies as payment. I made a big show of this in front of the DC, and paid "properly" when they weren't looking. I actually got the salesperson to hand the dummies back secretly, in case my trick failed, but it didn't fortunately. Before I had DC I was dead against dummies, but, like a previous PP, my DS had colic, and a dummy saved us both. So I gave one to DD as it had helped her older brother - if the toy shop trick hadn't worked, I now know that both DC would have given them up when they were ready. People critical of dummies rarely consider what the back story may be.

@LindyLou2020 genius 👏

@lovemenomore

Never gave our DC a dummy. Personally can't stand seeing a newborn with one shoved in their mouth! Obviously everyone is different but we didn't feel it was what we wanted and dc never knew any different.

I used to think this too. Until I had a baby that cried for 12 hours a day solid and could only be consoled with a bottle or a dummy.

The best thing about dummies is that it made my DC much easier to settle at night. Just go in, pop the dummy back in and straight off back to sleep. No up for hours on end in our house.

Two kids, no dummies. Number 2 was given one in NICU after (premature) birth but never took to it.
I don't judge people who use them, god knows I do enough other judgeable shit with my kids (4 year old had McDonald's *and" a chocolate cookie yesterday) and there is evidence that they reduce SIDS risk used at night under 6 months.
I just never really needed them, I was their dummy I guess, fed them to sleep etc.
I do think they should be only for sleeping as my sister is a speech therapist and would say she sees anecdotally an impact, that it's just common sense if there is something in your mouth all the time during talking hours you won't be talking much.

@lovemenomore

Chillll just my opinion!

I get the need in premature babies - I wasn't generalising!

The trouble is like so much of parenting the babies you have doesn't actually care about your opinion so your left with two options.

1. Change your opinion and allow your baby to have a dummy.

1. Leave your child to cry or find something else to satisfy their urge to suck just so you can stick to your opinion.

Your fortunate your children didn't need dummies but that's only by sheer luck and trust me your opinion would have changed pretty damn quickly if you had a child who wouldn't settle because they needed to suck on something.

Dummies are better unless you fancy the teenage years to be full of regular orthodontist appointments.

Both our DSs had one from early on, with DS1 on midwifes advice. DS abandoned it at about 12 weeks and was a thumb sucker. DS2 never sucked his thumb and kept on with the dummies, but we gad done exactly the same thing with him, so clearly babies have different preferences!
We see a lot of threads on here about exhausted mums with babies screaming if they’re not almost permanently on the breast. I don’t think you can cope like that - use a dummy. Both my midwife and HV said some babies need to suck to soothe and they don’t need to be feeding almost constantly.

We see a lot of threads on here about exhausted mums with babies screaming if they’re not almost permanently on the breast

I remember years ago a poster on her knees with a screaming baby. 24 hours. The only time the baby was quiet was when on the breast. The mum knew it was mostly comfort, but her husband “thought dummies looked awful”, so she couldn’t/wouldn’t use one.

Months it went on with multiple posts about the baby only settling on the breast. I gave up reading in the end.

If I took the dummy off mine the thumb went in. So i used a dummy to stop thumb sucking as much as anything.

Personally can't stand seeing a newborn with one shoved in their mouth!

Shoved 😂

But you’re ok with a bottle tear or a nipple?

Teat

DC1 didn't have a dummy, basically because I was a bit snobby about it. DC2 (nearly 7 months) has one and it makes him so much easier to get to sleep, means the car is less of a nightmare, and meant that, unlike his brother, he didn't spend the entire night for the first few months of his life on my boobs, so I actually got some sleep. I was quite smug about never giving DS1 a dummy, whereas now I think I was being an idiot about it.

Yeah DS was given one in NICU and I was given a leaflet from the Lullaby Trust saying new research suggests they reduce the risk of SIDS in babies under 6 months and are helpful to improve feeding re suckling.
I will never understand the judgement about dummy use.

We gave DS a dummy from abot 4 weeks but then tried to wean him off at around 4 months but he just turned to jis thumb.

For those struggling to get their DC to stop thumb sucking. We put anti nail biting varnish on DS' thumb when he was around 12 months. It worked pretty well.

Offered current newborn dummy at about a week old, she wasn't keen at 1st but now will have it. She will only have it if waiting for a bottle to cool or sometimes to fall asleep (once asleep spits it out).
Our eldest had them and they were hard work to get rid of, she was 5 before they were completely gone. She had braces but that was due to having shark teeth. Child 2 sucks thumb, now 10 waiting on asd assessment and struggling to break the habit. He has caused a lot of damage to his teeth. Child 3 didn't need dummies or thumbs to sooth. 4/5 (twins) both sucked thumbs, older one has stopped completely at 6yr and the other is slowly stopping it but needs reminding (she also has damage to teeth).

@gogohm

No dummy here, babies don't need non nutritive sucking

Lol. Ya clown.

No dummy here, babies don't need non nutritive sucking

Wow. Cite your sources as you’re going to need to prove it.