How do I get my 3.5 year old to stop calling me mum?

[whistlers]

Started a couple of days ago and it's constant.

I would like to be called mummy again. Mum sounds dreadful.

@WeAllHaveWings

Just wait until they are teens and they call you "mother" with a condescending eyeroll thrown in for food measure 🙄

I'm lucky if I get that. It's usually "bruh" or "dude" now and an abundance of eye rolls of course.

I would just go with it, he'll probably go back to mummy before long.

@LemonRoses

How did a four year old decide it wasn’t mummy anymore? How would they even know there were alternatives?

A big Hhhhmmmm

Why would they not know? Assuming they go to pre school/nursery, watch TV, have friends and family with older children… Mine knew that there are alternatives because I call my own mum ‘mum’.

Just say it’s Mummy each time, he will go back to it. I don’t like Mum, they can do that when they are older.

My older 2 (7 & 9) both think it’s funny to call me Old Lady at the moment.

This is petty as, is it all you have to worry about in life?

@LemonRoses

How did a four year old decide it wasn’t mummy anymore? How would they even know there were alternatives?

A big Hhhhmmmm

Really? 4yr olds go to school or nursery, childminders, have friends and other family members, read books or have books read to them, watch television, hear conversations. Most children will hear their own parent call their grandparents mum and dad I'd imagine.

My 14yr old still calls me mummy. She also calls me mother, mamaaaaar and The Parental Unit Mark One when she's being hilarious.

It's been a pretty organic process tbh.

@DizzySquirrel90

This is petty as, is it all you have to worry about in life?

Where did the op say it was all she has to worry about? I missed that bit.

PeaAndHam
I refuse to be called bro with dd. Always used sarcastically, ie trying to one up me.

If you're OK with being called Mum at some unspecified time in the future, why is it dreadful?

Children graduate from mummy to mum. It happens. Get over it!

Yes, indeed - it's just a normal stage of development (I know some cultures are different, such as in NI and very posh people). Our DS was 5 when he just switched to Mum & Dad - it never occurred to us to tell him off or that he was somehow wrong. It's not your actual name anyway - it's a signifier of their relationship to you, so I don't see why they shouldn't use what feels most natural to them.

We know a couple who insist on it, and will 'correct' their children with annoyance if they forget. They do have a younger (school-age) child as well, but it just seems so odd and unkind to be cross at a 12yo and force them to say Mummy, not Mum - especially when you know for a fact they would be laughed at rotten by their friends if they said "I'll have to check with Mummy if I can come to play after school".

You both know that they use more age-appropriate language outside the home, and yet still insist on keeping up the little-child language at home. You wouldn't dream of telling off an older child who says the word 'cow' or 'sheep' and insisting that they're 'actually' called a 'moo-cow' or a 'baa-sheep'.

There’s nothing worse than a grown adult using the term mummy 🤣

My mum insisted on being called Mummy throughout my childhood because she considered "mum' to be common. It was the tip of the iceberg of her controlling behaviour that resulted in 2 of her 3 children running away from home the second they turned 16. The day of their 16th birthdays they both packed up and disappeared overnight.

We are all old now and only I see or speak to her. The other two are NC/LC. I always call her mum. My brothers only refer to her by her first name. You reap what you sow and she wasn't ever loving or caring enough to be a ' Mummy'.

Pick your battles OP. As long as he is calling you mum with love and respect it really isn't worth forcing Mummy on him.

My 5 year old started calling me mother when she was 4. Or dude or mate 😂.

My 3 year old started using mum a few months ago. She also sometimes still uses mummy, but mostly mum. My 8 year old on the other hand always uses mummy. I'm not sure you can succeed in changing this, but maybe explain you like being called mummy more, but prepare to accept it might be here to stay.

I hear you OP. Here is some practical advice, which I think is what you came looking for. When mine try mum I correct them, in the same way I'd expect good manners (a please when asking for something etc).

They try things out for size but can easily revert back when they realise it's not appropriate. I realise in some families it would be fine but not all families are the same.

Neither of my two ever called me Mummy and I was delighted. It grates on me. However I left them to decide themselves and Mum/Mam is perfectly fine here

Same here, I grew up in Yorkshire and I never heard anyone say Mummy or even Mammy. It was always Mam. I had my children after I moved South, but when they were learning to talk referred to myself as "Mam". Mam sounds a bit like Mum in the accent my children have acquired so all good.

My parents were very picky about what they were called and it was sooooo stressful

I hated the transition from mummy to mum. It sounded so wrong to me.

DD is now 14 and I get called ‘mother’🤨

They try things out for size but can easily revert back when they realise it's not appropriate

But it's not at all remotely the same. There is nothing inappropriate in using a perfectly normal word that most of their peers will e eventually use.

It's incredibly controlling.

MY 3.5 year old started this a few weeks ago after hearing some older kids shouting Mum, after that she completely switched to calling us Mum and Dad. I just let her get on with it. Now she uses a mixes up Mum/Mummy and Dad/Daddy.

It was a bit strange being called Mum at first, but hardly problematic.

Must be a 3.5 year old phase.

@Slashandcut

Each to their own. I don’t like mum. I won’t answer to it and they’ve never graduated to mum because I didn’t answer to it. Other kids calling their parent mum doesn’t make me wince, I don’t even notice I just don’t like it for me

Some mums dont answer to mum. You ignore your child until they call you mummy? Bizarre behaviour!

@Mummyoflittledragon

PeaAndHam I refuse to be called bro with dd. Always used sarcastically, ie trying to one up me.

Sounds familiar! I did say something at first but now I just look at them with "the mum look". I probably get called much worse privately too so at least I don't hear that.

They were both absolutely great as toddlers as well so all the moods and tantrums have obviously been waiting for the teen years for me. They are great kids in many ways but I really wasn't prepared for quite this many mood swings and eye rolls each day!

Can’t see what is wrong with mum. I think mummy sounds a little silly as the children get older. I think the aversion to mum is maybe because mum sounds more everyday and mummy sounds more upper class. I am really old but when I am feeling unwell I still mutter “Oh! Mum”. I think it is a lovely name to be called.

I suggest you try getting over yourself.

There is nothing inappropriate in using a perfectly normal word that most of their peers will e eventually use.

Sounds utterly bizarre to me - objecting to a mother being referred to as 'Mum'. You wouldn't chastise a child for referring to the family automobile as 'the car', would you?!