How do I get my 3.5 year old to stop calling me mum?

[whistlers]

Started a couple of days ago and it's constant.

I would like to be called mummy again. Mum sounds dreadful.

@whistlers what do you call your mum? All DC graduate from mummy to mum (apart from the upper middle class who stick with mummy and daddy) at different ages. “Mum” is natural to your DD. Would you be upset when she’s in double digits and refuses to call you mummy?

@Wonderbox

And will ‘Mum’ magically sound less dreadful to your ears once your child has reached the age at which you think it’s appropriate to switch?

Yes.

I see where you are coming from OP. Mine is about to turn 5 and definitely no sign of the transition from Mummy to Mum yet. I think you can just reinforce it as much as possible- refer to yourself in the third person, talk about his friends’ mothers as “Mummy” eg on the way to preschool- “look, there’s Oliver with his Mummy”. Read books that have Mummy characters in them. (I have a few that refer to “Mum” and I sometimes change to “Mummy” when I read them to him).
At 3.5 you can maybe also have a bit of a jokey “I’m Mummy not Mum!” conversation with him and ask if everyone is changing names and should you now call him “Fred” or something. Very lighthearted. He should even understand you saying “I really like Mummy better than Mum”.

I hear you OP and I get it's because they are still so little. I don't have kids but we are very close to our neighbours little girl, I remember the first time I heard her say mum and dad when she was around 3, just seemed strange after hearing mummy and daddy - made her seem so grown up

@Bancha

This has to be a windup! You are posting on mumsnet!

this.

My ds2 is profoundly deaf.. He didn't learn to speak till he was way over two years old and when he said "Mumma" it came out as "Bugger"!!!
I have fond memories of a very loud voice in the supermarket shouting that from one side of the store when I was on the other and old ladies glaring at me in the library when he shouted that at me! 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

I just corrected dd when she did this. She still calls us mummy and daddy and she’s now an early teen. I have a big problem with mum as I don’t want to be called the same thing as I call my mother, the person, who very dismissive of me and my need to be protected from my violent brother. Backstory.

People are not bizarre to object to mum. There can be reasons behind it.

I'm just grateful now that it's not me that's being summoned by "Mum". The last time I heard somebody shrieking for Mum was some kid who had tried to adjust the girth strap on a horse while mounted and dropped the strap. I had to wade in and get them buckled up again and she seemed perfectly ok that it wasn't her own mum that was doing it. Maybe she thought all middle aged women were just grateful to be of use. My youngest when learning Spanish called me madre. My oldest called me by my given name for some time. Really it doesn't matter.

Mine call me mum, mumma, mummy, ma, ds more often than not mum, dd more often than not mumma. What I like best is that they still confide me in their mid 20s, still ask advice and their bfs and gfs are more comfortable here than at their own houses because we are less uptight. All that taken into account and they can call me whatever they like.

Argh, I know it's not the end of the world but I feel for you!

I've managed to keep mine saying Mummy (or Mu'ee, from DS2 ) for as long as possible but DS1 will soon transition to Mum. My "cut off" was when they left primary school, they could start calling me Mum.

I was early teens before I changed from Mummy & Daddy to Mum & Dad. There was one girl in our class who, at 15, still called her mum "Mummy" and I have to admit it sounded a bit odd by then!

One of my friends here never tolerated her children calling her Mummy - it was Mum from the off, she thinks Mummy sounds dreadful!

My dh's family all refer to their parent's as mummy and daddy. My dh and his siblings are in their 50's and 60's
I cringe everytime they say it.

I would be encouraging Mum, I really would.

My 14 & 11 year olds still call me mummy. I know when they talk about me to their friends, I’m mum, but I don’t mind either way.

I’ve suggested they gravitate away to mum but both find it hard to do.

I agree with OP, 3 is very young to change but I don’t think there’s much you can do.

I’m the opposite Mummy makes me cringe by a child over the age of about 2. It reminds me of the doctor who episode “are you my mummy?”

I think you let him call you what he wants.

Eldest was still calling me Mummy at 13, which seemed kind of odd to me but it was up to him. Youngest was 7 when she swapped and her older siblings followed suit. Cousins went from Mummy to Mum at 3 or 4.

These days it’s Mum, Madre, Oh Mother Dear, Parental Unit, Momma Doom… teens are a law unto themselves.

Neither of my two ever called me Mummy and I was delighted. It grates on me. However I left them to decide themselves and Mum/Mam is perfectly fine here.

I can't imagine being so concerned and to ignore and correct every time sounds unnecessary.

My friends Mum insisted on Mummy and they all still call their parents Mummy and Daddy at 30 odd. I just chuckle at them shouting this in the local shop.

All the responses making out that OP will expect her son to address her as Mummy when he's 40 are ridiculous. He's 3.

@DukeOfEarlGrey

I know a few adults who still say mummy and it’s really jarring. Once had an ex who surprised me by saying it on a first visit to meet the family and it put me right off him!

This. Or mammy.

Bloody awful coming from an adult.

Middle kid went through a phase of calling me mumma. Didn't last long thankfully. That was awful as well.

I wouldn't like mummy. Kids call you what they want, you can't tell them they can't.

Wait till he’s a sarky teen and calls you by your first name!
Let him call you what he wants. My mother told me at ten not to call her mummy because it was babyish. I remembered that and it stung. When are you going to change the rules again?

I definitely prefer mummy for the next 1.5 years at least

Sorry, but part of being a parent is realising you cannot control every single thing your child does.

My DC has called me by my first name once or twice. My DH found this hilarious and encouraged it so now I'm teaching our DC to call him 'Pa'.

Reminds me of Jack Whitehall still calling his parents Mummy and Daddy! 😄

DH and his sisters call their parents by their first names - no idea why.

@whistlers

I'm absolutely ok with him calling me mum when he's even a little bit older! Just not yet!

He's not even at school yet

“Darling, you have to call me mummy. You can call me “mum” in 18 months time.”

That just sounds weird and it’ll confuse your DS.

How did a four year old decide it wasn’t mummy anymore? How would they even know there were alternatives?

A big Hhhhmmmm

I think it's quite sad that some people would ignore their child if they were addressed as Mum.