Arrangements at night

[RoseA89]

Hi everyone,

I was wondering what arrangements you all have between yourself and DP/DH at night with a baby. My DS is almost 3 months old. He sleeps for very long stretches at night. However, since DP went back to work, he told me that he would not be getting up at night to do the feeding. I said I’d do it to let him get a good sleep for his work. However, I’m finding it quite difficult at the moment. I have to do the cleaning up (DP doesn’t do it at all), most of the cooking, looking after baby while DP is working (works 9-6 and often works later on) and then give DS his last bottle before bed as well as during the night. Is it just that I’m finding it hard or should this be split a bit more? I’m going back to work in December, so I don’t know what will happen then!

Thanks x

[quote RoseA89]@Bluejayway91 no he doesn’t, I change him and feed him during the night! I try to do the cleaning when baby naps and I make dinner for him finishing work and coming downstairs. He will take his turn with cooking though.
I did ask him what will happen when I go back to work. His response was that the baby will be sleeping though the night by then so I’ll be able to sleep.[/quote]
So you’ll be able to sleep at nights and then just fit all the housework into your work and parenting? Asshole.

I don't think you have a great arrangement. My partner is working full time and takes the baby for at least three up to six hours every night between 10 and 8am and feeds expressed milk during his 'shift'. He also does most of the cooking and all of the food shopping and meal planning and pays half for the cleaner. My baby does totally random night feed times so if I did all the nights every night I'd have no longer than an hour of unbroken sleep sometimes.

Started off bf so doing all the feeding. Hubby would work 9-5/6ish from home due to covid. So every morning after the last feed of the early hours around 5a.m.-6a.m. I'd hand baby over to hubby who is currently sleeping downstairs on the sofa bed so he gets uninterrupted sleep. He would take care of baby till 8.55sh and I'd just sleep through that time. Now my baby is bottles fed but the routine is the same except hubby will help feeding after he finishes work and also does the 6 a.m. feed. I make all the feeds using boiling hot water and cool.boiled water to top it up so its really fast. I take pre made for the 3 a.m.ish feed upstairs. But you could take a flask with boiling hot water and one with cool boiled water and make up your feed like that. Hope this helps.

As for cooking my husband helps or we just have freezer meals if we are really struggling. Fast meals like jacket potato etc if we have time we make meals. Anyone who asks to help we always say yes to food He helps clean up etc. But he doesn't make feeds or wash bottles as I'm quite fussy about it tbh. If house is a bit messy I leave it for the following day and rest instead. I don't pressure my hubby to do it and he doesn't pressure me we get things done but priorities are rest.

I bet every penny I have that once you are back at work he still wont lift a finger.

HA to the sleeping through the night comment he made. My DC1 slept through the night from 8 weeks. When he turned a year old his sleep turned to pot- it was horrendous and he still doesn't consistently sleep through many months later. Plus it's worse then they're a toddler as they get really upset and it's hard to know what they want.

You need to nip this in the bud, now. My DH has always shared night feeds with me, even when I'm on mat leave. In the early days we took each night in shifts with him doing the first half of each night, then after about 4 months we would do alternate nights with each other.

Two week old. You’re cute 😉

My DH and I split the night. We have also slept in separate beds pre baby. He would set his alarm for 2am. We would then swap beds so I got in spare room and had 4/5hours uninterrupted sleep. DH had uninterrupted sleep from whatever time he went to bed (usually 9pm) until 2am. He wouldn’t stay away if baby was sleeping but if he woke he would be ‘on duty’ in those hours. On Friday nights I did all night but DH got up Saturday mornings and I slept in. Saturday night DH did all night I got up Sunday and DH slept in. I did majority of household chores