I can't do this

[MonicaGellerBing]

Anyone else feel like they can't cope with the 6 weeks holiday? I've woken up this morning and feel like I can't breathe, another full week ahead to entertain the kids. I have £4 in the bank until Friday so can't take them anywhere. They are 9 and 4 so enjoy different things. I have no friends as fell out with them all a few months ago and the only friend I do have is doing days out with her husband and son as they have time off work.

I can't cope with the 4 year old constantly wanting me to play. I know I sound terrible believe me I feel guilty as hell but I can't do it anymore. She wants me to play teachers and doctors and then just tells me off for doing it wrong. I'm sick of the same housework washing up making beds hoovering it's soul destroying. Neither of them will watch films. The 9 year old spends his whole days on roblox.

Im shit. Sometimes I feel bad for having them and giving them a shit life. How can I do this until September

Oh gosh you don't sound shit at all!! Looking after 2 all by yourself with little in the bank sounds like bloody hard work so hats off to you!! Don't feel bad for not wanting to play with your 4 year old all the time... It's exhausting stuff. Will they go for a walk in the woods or go to the park? Just thinking of free days out to get you all out of the house.

Thanks for replying. They won't go for walks no they find it too boring and I can't blame them! Yeah they don't mind the park but only for an hour then they get bored unless they find someone their own age to play with. I'd love to take them to soft play or the cinema or a farm but just haven't got the money. It's soul destroying

I think you’re going to have to be a bit tougher about getting them out for a walk. It really helps to break up the day. Make tick charts of stuff to look for (10 yellow leaves blah blah that sort of thing) and give them challenges - can you run to xxx in 20 seconds etc. All highly boring for us but helps to regulate their energy levels. I do sympathise - I’ve got chronic disabilities and a Ds aged 9 with autism and about 20p in my bank account! It’s sucks.

In my city there are 3 city farms and all are free to go in, plus 2 adventure playgrounds, also free. Do you have anything like that near you? (Of course I do realise that also requires transport which costs money so it might not help you this week but perhaps helpful to have something low or no cost to plan for next week).

My 5 year old is very keen on junk modelling - he gets in the recycling bag and gets creative with sellotape/pens/paint.

Check for free stuff to do in your area. Lots of places are running activities that don't cost much if anything and you can take a little picnic to keep costs down too.

I'm a pretty useless mum atm on the entertainment front as I'm 37+6wk pregnant and not got great mobility now. Our eldest went on holiday with my parents but the younger 4 are stuck at home with me, play on their tablets, watch TV or play with toys together. Hubby is away until 4 days before my elcs date so the most going out they'll get is walking the dog at the park until he's home. They haven't complained though.

I agree with the getting out and about.

I get the impression you think walking is boring too as you’ve said you can’t blame them. But I think despite how you feel you’ve got to lead from the front so to speak. I live in a big city but there are lots of free parks, yes some may be a good walk away but you have all day to get there. Take a picnic or whatever you would have eaten at home and make a day of walks to parks further away with different play equipment. Lots of charities put on free activity sessions over the holidays, can you access any of these. I have booked mine onto a farm play experience that is free with lunch included for the 3 of us to do a few times over the next few weeks.

Perhaps ask on local Facebook mums groups if anyone wants to meet at the lark? There may be others in the same situation and meeting here may make your children play for longer.

Endless pretend games can be mind numbing so perhaps try and set a schedule for the day with timings a bit like a school day. 8-9 breakfast and tidy up/getting ready, 9-11 park, computer time etc etc. So that they know they can’t sit on the computer all day or that the activity isn’t playing teachers right now it’s art and craft etc to give you a break

Feel exactly the same single mum to dd9 and I feel so guilty. I'm really short of money and am desperate to do things, I have to work three days out of the five and feel so guilty at leaving her with her dad who doesn't do much with her. She's ASD so doesn't get invited to play dates which would help me and her enormously, it's always me entertaining other children at my house. I wrote a similar post at the start of the school holidays about feeling very anxious. Feel like a terrible mum.

Stretch the visit to the park with a picnic, nothing fancy just what you would normally eat. We take sandwiches, crisps and diluted squash, and something to sit on.
Go and watch the ducks and talk about the males, females what they eat etc, you may need to do a little research. It can also be done for trees, wildflowers or anything that interests them
Try and find your local mumbler pages on the Internet as what’s on will be listed on there.

In our area they are putting on free activities for children who are entitled to free school meals - it might be worth looking at you local councils website.

I think the monotony of cooking /cleaning / entertaining can really get you down. Could you try having a plan so you can have something to do each day e.g

Day 1 - walk in local are spotting vehicles / signs
Day 2 - planning a sports day (choosing activities, making signs)
Day 3 - 'sports day' (jumping, running, etc)
Day 4 - trip to park
Day 5 - cooking
Day 6 - water play
Day 7 - walk in local area spotting wildlife
Day 8 - craft day

Etc

Don't give yourself a hard time, a lot of people find the school holidays long and expensive, and many many people hate imaginary play with 4 year olds!
I find picnics a pretty good way to get out for less money - just take lunch to a park and let them hare around the playground.
Also, do you know many people for play dates? Just your mates who have vaguely similar aged kids? I find this the most effective way of killing time for not much money.
Will your kids play games? Sometimes mine go in a team against me (which helps the younger) and we play junior monopoly, connect 4 etc.
Don't feel bad about a bit of TV and screen time.

No advice, just some ideas

*Long, huge bubble bath with goggles and bath toys (sort of like a swim)

*Movie night, with dinner and pudding.

*Gardening - one of them are bound to enjoy it if you do. Even if just weeding and tidying up.

*If within walking distance, go to the library to choose books and for change of scenery. Pack sandwiches, juice bottles and whatever you have at home and stop for a picnic at a play park.

*Bake together. Even if there's a mess!

*Try a YouTube drawing tutorial - there's loads on there.

*Junk modelling - make a marble run or mask.

*Repurpose recycling bits. Tin can > container for colouring pens. Decorate paper to stick on tin.

*Walks (even if to get cheap sweets from corner shop) - cloud watching, talk about the different types of trees, plants, birds you see on your way, walk to a pond/river/green area and let them wander a bit. You need to really try your best to be enthusiastic about it otherwise they won't be. It pays off eventually.

Thanks so much for your replies everyone. You're all right I need to find entertainment in other ways such as picnics and walks. We are starting today with a movie day. We've made the living room dark and we've brought our duvets down and we are watching Luca. It's a good start to the day.

That sounds like a great idea OP! Some other good suggestions on here. Have you thought about a post on your local fb group asking for free/low cost activities for kids of this age? You may even find others in the same boat who are up for meeting up.

Mine are all different ages and go out a walk whether they like it or not. They just accept that's what's happening. Day passes incredibly fast once we are home! I couldn't cope being cooped up inside all day. Two weeks of holiday left now for us... it's flew in. I have money but due to having four DC and a dog who needs walked, it's easier to just get out front door and walk.

Have they friends you can arrange playdates with? Free entertainment!

One summer when 4dc were younger, and I was broke, we found a different play park to visit every day. It really broke up the days, and meant they didn't get bored.

You could also just take them out to sports area to play football or badminton. Loads of ideas. Just be creative.

I find if you show great enthusiasm as a parent it does rub off on them too.

Why did you fall out with all your friends, Op?

@Motnight we were a group of 5 and me and one of the other women fell out and the group just sort of fell apart and we've all gone our separate ways. I still see one of the 5 as she lives a few doors down but that's the one I was talking about in my OP, she's busy with her husband for a few weeks

Hi, I really empathise

RSPB

Woodland Trust

Wildlife Watch

Nature Activities

Sorry posted too soon.
As I was saying, I do understand, having been in your shoes in the past.

Honestly the great outdoors is your friend, there is so much to see, to collect etc.

I was a childminder for 20 odd years until Long Covid got me. We spent so much time outdoors though I do live in a place with great parks, mountains and canals. I appreciate not everyone has these opportunities close by.
I have searched for a few examples of ideas. See previous post

The thing is that you must be enthusiastic too! The world around is amazing, both Nature and human creations, so have a look at your local area and see where you can realistically go. I know when money is tight it's hard to feel positive but as they say, fake it until you make it.

When you get paid use that money for transport, take simple picnics and try to be as childlike as you can about everything you see around you.

You will build up a fine collection of stones and sticks, snail shells and pine cones.

Is there a park close to your children's school? They might meet friends there and you might meet parents/carers to chat too. I made great friends in our park.

Good luck, I bet your movie at home was fab

Thank you @IamEarthymama you made me fill up 🥺

I will definitely get out and about on walks and parks and be more enthusiastic about it. I've been looking online for worksheets I can print off so the kids have things to find look for etc

The movie morning went well thank you and we've had a better day today

I am struggling with the holidays this year and I'm a teacher, this should be the highlight of my year!
I'm finding a good rough routine is to get out fairly early (9ish) for a long walk/park visit etc with a picnic. We take a frisbee or ball to play with too. Come home after lunch and play in the garden/read stories/play other Lego/do craft then by about 4pm whem they are tired they can watch TV or a film while I make dinner.
It is quite relentless though isn't it?!
If you say whereabouts you are people might be able to suggest free activities in your area.

Really glad to hear you have had a better day. It can be so hard to be enthusiastic and creative when you feel like you have had 'enough'. The old adage 'fake it to make it' is useful!

Try and look back on the days that went well if one day does not go as well.

Enjoy the rest of the holiday!

Awww don't feel bad about yourself it is a very hard job doing what you do, my own mum found this incredibly tough. If I recall when I was 9 my mum let me venture away from the house close by with other kids which was where
I spent most of the school holidays and I think if must have saved her! Over the years I spent more time out with my friends than in the house except to do homework bur we were all happy, I only had 1 friend within the 2 streets close to me but that was enough and I was happy
As Larry, is there any kids nearby your 9yo could hang out with close by? I was a very sensible 9yo and often took my sister who was also then 5 yrs younger with me not for most of the day but even if it's just a couple of hours it would give you a break from them. I was a 90s kid and this was the norm back then, I feel though like there aren't as many kids out ans about like there once was but you never know there could be someone close by they can make friends with x x