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Parenting

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Original poster

When did you first leave your baby?

60 replies

roseswade · 19/07/2021 22:11

Out of interest, when did you first leave your baby for a few hours, even just with your partner?

I have a 4 week old and it hasn’t crossed my mind to leave her for any period of time yet (still in a newborn bubble and not had anywhere to go!)

My neighbour invited myself and a couple of other friends over this week for the evening and it suddenly dawned on me that I wouldn’t be with my DD. I’ve politely declined as I’m not fully up to it (had a c section and still recovering) but I also didn’t like the idea of being separated from my DD.

Just got me thinking at what point people felt comfortable being away from their children? I know everyone is different so interested to hear answers!

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Imcatmum · 19/07/2021 22:20

DH took him for a walk in the pram in his first week. My mum would take him out for walks and shopping to give me a rest anytime she visited, so probably week 2, 6, 10 ish. She absolutely loved those little wanders with him and still talks about it now 8 years later. Then I went back to work after 3 months and I had a nanny mind him Mon to Fri, she't take him off out wherever during the day.

Everyones different and its normal to take a bit of time to get over the anxiety of not being with baby, but as long as you are not withholding baby from their dad cos you think hes too rubbish to be trusted, lol.

Original poster

roseswade · 19/07/2021 22:26

@Imcatmum lol last bit made me chuckle! Dad has been so amazing with her and has actually been doing most of the work as I’ve had a bit of a naff recovery so definitely no worries with him being able to cope.

I just hadn’t really thought about leaving her yet as haven’t had a need to (been very lucky that DH could take extra time off work)

OP posts:

Tibtab · 19/07/2021 22:27

Had to have an iron infusion a week after giving birth, wasn’t allowed to take baby onto ward so DH took her for a walk.
I was breastfeeding but would happily leave her for a few hours with DH when she was young. Now she is 16 months and I have stayed away overnight.

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orangejuicer · 19/07/2021 22:28

3 weeks and it was too soon (for me).

Ragwort · 19/07/2021 22:30

Nine days I think, we'd been in hospital for six days, my mother came to stay on day 8 and DH and I walked up to our village hall the next evening for some sort of low key social event leaving DS with my mum ... it was a three minute walk away, I can remember one woman being horrified that I'd left my baby . I also had a c-section but felt perfectly well.

DisgruntledPelican · 19/07/2021 22:31

Five weeks, I went to have my nails done. I think I probably went to the supermarket with DP around the same time and my parents looked after DS. Less than an hour each time.

He was six months the first time I left him for longer than that.

Nuggetnugget · 19/07/2021 22:31

Properly it was at 5 months testing out a new childminder (not vetting her but more for the baby to get to know her as I had to go back to work at 6 months)

It's too soon for you. You might like your hair done or something soon. You will know when you are ready. I've only recently let mine so an overnight stay (at nearly 8) as I felt I would miss them to much. I did but it's lovely to finally get away.

webuiltthiscityonrockandwheat · 19/07/2021 22:32

Grandparents took DD out at maybe 2/3 weeks while DS was at nursery so I got an hour just to breathe. She's 12 weeks now and my mum takes her for a walk every week while I take DS to a toddler class. I value the time with him and he values time with me away from the baby. I can see it being harder though if it's your first baby. There's no right or wrong answer, it's all down to your comfort level. It's your baby, don't let anyone feel like you should be away from them if you're not comfortable with it

ER20 · 19/07/2021 22:33

At 2 weeks old I had to leave him with his dad to go to hospital for an infected c section wound, then we left him with grandparents for 2 hours when he was 4 weeks old to go for a meal for our first wedding anniversary. Left him at 6 weeks again with grandparents while I went to the dentist.

I wouldn’t have chosen to leave him with grandparents that soon but the meal was a surprise and I wanted to honour it, he slept the whole time we were out.

Obviously I worried and spent the whole time thinking about him but it was actually fine.

Capricornandproud · 19/07/2021 22:34

3 days when I had to go back in and have my c section scar checked. My Mum was home with him and well able, so we nipped into a pub for lunch and made the most of it!

Megan2018 · 19/07/2021 22:40

I had to leave DD with DH from about 4 weeks old for very short periods (around an hour) to look after my horse.
But it wasn’t until 13.5 months that she was left for longer (nursery, when I returned to work).

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 19/07/2021 22:41

1 week with dh, I needed chocolate, you know that primal urge? I went to the shop and ds was napping on dh, so made more sense for me to go.

3 and 4 weeks with both my parents and pils, we were having the worst possible time with sleep, dh had gone back to work and my insomnia kicked in again, so they took ds for about 3 hours each on both sat and sun for those 2 consecutive weekends so we could rest. Those naps stopped us from killing eachother to be honest.

3 months for overnight away from us, I bought dh tickets for a concert before I fell pregnant and I wanted to go still 🤣 ds was express fed with a bottle of formula mixed in, was easy to sort bottles out.

Like pps have said, it's normal to feel awkward about it and it's ok to not leave baby if you're not ready to.

LakeShoreD · 19/07/2021 22:54

Don’t actually remember with DC1. My parents had her overnight whilst we were at a wedding when she was 12 weeks old but I’m sure I did things like go to the hairdresser and leave her with DH before that. With DC2 DH took baby on a lockdown walk when he was about 2 weeks old and I really appreciated the break! Mine were both formula fed so practically speaking it was possible to leave them whenever and I’ve never felt funny about it because they would always be with someone I trust (DH or other close family member).

VienneseWhirligig · 19/07/2021 22:59

A few days with DH, a week or so with my mum? We were house hunting and had been gazumped the day after DS was born, so we had to go to see the estate agent. I moved in with my parents when DS was born, DH and I weren't married at the time and he was packing up our old house. I stayed over with him a couple of times with DS and once alone. Maybe I wasn't that maternal

hellcatspangle · 19/07/2021 23:07

My mum had my dd overnight after a couple of weeks as I wasn't well and needed a solid night's sleep. She went on to have her once a week overnight once she wasn't being exclusively BF.

BillyRaywasapreachersson · 19/07/2021 23:13

11 months when she went to nursery.i didn't leave her on an evening until she was 18m and that was because I had an absolute emergency and couldn't take her. I still hate leaving her for an evening and she is 15!!, but she is excellent company and there is no-one I have more of a laugh with. I appreciate I am a sad sack.

moynomore · 19/07/2021 23:16

I had my hair done at 6 weeks and it felt wild!

moynomore · 19/07/2021 23:16

I had my hair done at 6 weeks and it felt wild!

muffins899 · 19/07/2021 23:32

She’s 15 months and has never been without me or DH!

Suzi888 · 19/07/2021 23:35

Six weeks, overnight with my mum.

muffins899 · 19/07/2021 23:40

(I would love some time off but sadly we don’t have any family nearby and can’t afford childcare)

Danikm151 · 20/07/2021 01:34

3 weeks purely because I had to go get a prescription for him and get the post from my flat -it was the start of lockdown so we went to stay with my mom.
He was safe with my mom but I cried at the chemist and text her like every 20 mins. I was gone 1.5 hours and had mega mom guilt. Probably felt ok leaving him a little longer (2hours) at 6 weeks
Overnight was 4 months to go to the pub with a friend- I lasted 4 hours- I used my key and went back to my mom’s so I could see him- 😂
Properly overnight was around 6 months.

Strokethefurrywall · 20/07/2021 01:46

3 weeks with DS1. Parents were staying (we live o/s) and DH and I went to a fancy dress Halloween party for the evening. I lasted about 3 1/2 hours before my boobs almost exploded.
Went out pretty regularly from when he was tiny really.

DS2 I was far more “animalistic” and don’t recall when I left him for the first time but it would have been when he was about 8 weeks or so.

There is no right or wrong answer, only when you feel the time is right.

notangelinajolie · 20/07/2021 01:56

3 weeks went back to work. We were both fine.

notangelinajolie · 20/07/2021 02:02

3 weeks - went back to work after DC2. Grandparents provided baby care.
And then 4 weeks after DC3 when I ended up in hospital for nearly a month. Next door neighbour cared for her while DH was at work.
We all survived to tell the tale.

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