When did you first leave your baby?

[roseswade]

Out of interest, when did you first leave your baby for a few hours, even just with your partner?

I have a 4 week old and it hasn’t crossed my mind to leave her for any period of time yet (still in a newborn bubble and not had anywhere to go!)

My neighbour invited myself and a couple of other friends over this week for the evening and it suddenly dawned on me that I wouldn’t be with my DD. I’ve politely declined as I’m not fully up to it (had a c section and still recovering) but I also didn’t like the idea of being separated from my DD.

Just got me thinking at what point people felt comfortable being away from their children? I know everyone is different so interested to hear answers!

When my DD was 3 weeks old. Had to go back to the hospital as I got an infection in my episiotomy stitches at week 1 so went for a check up. Left her with my neighbour who I trust with my life (I used to babysit her kids all the time). DD was FF’d so was easier.

I think I left DD for a few hours during the day when she was around 2 or 3 months old? She's now 10nmonths, and I've never been without her overnight, don't feel ready for that yet!

When our first was 4 weeks we left her with my mum and dad so that we could go to the cinema. Parents house right by the cinema so literally for 2hrs just to see the film and come out. When she was around 8 weeks I left her with her dad for a few hours to go for dinner with my best friend. Then when she was 16 weeks we both left her with my parents to go to a gig. She was breast fed but luckily would always take a bottle of expressed milk. Second one we left less because it is harder to get a sitter for two kids. First left her (with her sister) at my parents when she was about 16 weeks so that we could do some Christmas shopping.

I’m 8.5m in and have never left him yet 🙈🤣 I’ve popped to the shop while DH kept an eye on him...but the shop is directly across the road from our house and takes me around 2 minutes 🤣
We’ve told our families from the start that we’re happy for them to spent time with him provided they’re being sensible regarding covid - and unfortunately they’ve all (bar my sister) prioritised not following lockdown rules and going out and socialising 😔 so he’s not had much chance to get to know grandparents etc yet despite them living 5 minutes away. I can’t imagine me leaving him with my parents of DHs parents until he’s much much older - he just doesn’t know them at all!

2 days, we needed some bits from the supermarket and I wanted to go just to get out of the house so left DS with DH.

We went to the cinema and left him with PIL for a few hours when he was 10 days old.

About 3 weeks old, left DD with MIL while DP and I went to the cinema during the day, she lives near the cinema so probably 2.5 hours max. I slept throughout the film!

Went back to work at 6 months which was the longest time away from her since she was born, DP had 3 months off as we did shared parental leave, I really missed her then. He used to send me photos throughout the day.

6 weeks. My mum took him for afternoon and night as I wasn't very well. Turned into pnd but I didn't know that at the time just knew I needed sleep. He was bottle fed already by that point so no worries on the feeding side. She then did similar for my other children, also pnd but I knew about it those times.

DH taken them both for walks by himself from a week old or would look after them when I went to the shop. Both of them were looked after by PIL at 7 weeks for a few hours and then had their first overnight stay at 10mo (DC1) and 7mo (DC2).

I was far more upset by leaving DC1 as a baby, who was by the far the trickier of the two so you'd think I'd be dying to hand him over!

Quite early on as had doctors appointments. My husband is an equal partner and is fully capable of parenting, possibly better than me, so have no qualms at all! Interested to hear that people a reluctant to leave overnight, especially when older - surely they’re just asleep then?!!

Four months, for four hours to sit an exam. Separated at six weeks, so left with my parents.

Interested to hear that people a reluctant to leave overnight, especially when older - surely they’re just asleep then?!!
DS slept through at two and a half. As a baby he'd have wanted breastfeeding at night.

Ours is 17 months and we haven’t left him with anyone yet.

5 days old. I had a preplanned works night out and DD was 2 weeks late. I was exhausted and hated every minute of it.

About 3 months whilst I went and got my hair done for 1.5hrs.

He has just turned 2 and my mum had him last month for 1-2 hours whilst I went and got him some birthday presents.

He's never slept over anywhere.

Think it was around 6/7 weeks when I left him to go to a friends for an evening.
Then when 5 months I went away for a weekend for a hen do.
I missed him loads for both but I felt so much better for being away from him for a while.
I didn’t really feel ready either time and could of happily declined both plans but sometimes you have to take a leap and accept that worst case, you can just come home!

3 months was with DP.

Interested to hear that people a reluctant to leave overnight, especially when older - surely they’re just asleep then?!!

My two can get up anytime from 5.30am onwards - it's less that I don't want to leave them and more that I feel bloody sorry for my poor MIL having to get up and deal with them at that time of day.

@Miliao

Quite early on as had doctors appointments. My husband is an equal partner and is fully capable of parenting, possibly better than me, so have no qualms at all! Interested to hear that people a reluctant to leave overnight, especially when older - surely they’re just asleep then?!!

Completely agree with this - what could possibly happen whilst they're asleep?!! Interested to hear reasons from people as this has always baffled me and I don't mean it in judgemental way but once there asleep I'm not sure what they'd be missing?

A few months, with my mum.

@fertilitybs
They can wake up again and want their parent. DS coslept and breastfed at night. They may have separation anxiety, even if they are used to the grandparent or carer in the daytime, they often wake up and are upset when their parent isn't there.

Oh yes, kowari, you can't leave a little baby overnight. If it was an emergency, eg mother taken ill and had to go to hospital, it can't be avoided but that's a different matter.

@Maggiesfarm I disagree - why can't you leave a little baby overnight? I did, he was with his grandparents and aunt, he was safe and loved. It was no different from him waking up from a nap at nursery and seeing his keyworker. He was at nursery from 3 months, no separation anxiety. My parents took him on holiday for a few days at 6 months as well. All babies are different so bit of a blanket statement to say you can't leave any tiny babies.

1 week i went to get my hair done. Left overnight at 8 weeks with my mum as we went out for a night out.

[quote VienneseWhirligig]@Maggiesfarm I disagree - why can't you leave a little baby overnight? I did, he was with his grandparents and aunt, he was safe and loved. It was no different from him waking up from a nap at nursery and seeing his keyworker. He was at nursery from 3 months, no separation anxiety. My parents took him on holiday for a few days at 6 months as well. All babies are different so bit of a blanket statement to say you can't leave any tiny babies.[/quote]
Fair enough, whatever works for you and your baby.

2 weeks to the day (yesterday!) as left her with DH so I could take DS to the beach. I dont feel ready to leave her with anyone else or for anyone else just yet.