Being eaten out of house and home!!

[StormcloakNord]

DD7 has a friend that comes round almost every day during the week in the hols. DD can't (or won't) go to hers because she lives in a flat and has an older brother who is (according to DD) very mean and ruins their fun.

Whilst I don't mind this, as they're very good at keeping themselves entertained in DD's room, it's costing me a fortune in food!

Every half hour or so they're downstairs asking for snacks, eating fruit, drinking juice etc. DD7 doesn't usually eat anything as she's used to 3 square meals a day but this other little girl that comes round is always always hungry and asking for food.

One part of me is getting irritated because they keep eating the fruit I'm buying which isn't exactly cheap, but I'm torn because what if for some reason she isn't getting enough food at home and she genuinely is hungry when she comes round?!

I hate the summer holidays 😩

Sorry didn't realise there had been so many replies!

The older brother is at a guess around 10/11 maybe? So not old enough to babysit. I don't think he's abusive I just think he's an annoying older brother. I've seen him with mum at the school gates and he's very big and shouty so I can imagine for kids as little as DD and friend it can be annoying/verging on scary. I've met the mum a couple of times and she seems nice and normal, not that you can judge someone from a few exchanges at the school gate etc.

It is mainly "healthy" snacks I give out. Crisps are only on occasion the first thing is something from the fruit bowl then a pot of yogurt or jelly if she's still hungry after that.

General consensus seems to be to ask her what she's had to eat today and if she hasn't had anything substantial I can easily offer her toast/eggs or a bowl of cereal or something.

Well, I would cut this habit short, because if your DD isn't used to eat in-between meals, she will soon get the habit of having snacks even when not physically hungry.

So, apart from an apple cut into squares at 10am, don't do it. At 4 in the afternoon, you can offer a banana and that's it.

Snacking is an habit that one shouldn't encourage, not matter if healthy or not. I know it is culture (I am Monegasque, from Monaco) , but grazing and eating all day long is wrong.

It is ok to have an empty stomach in between meal, even more than ok, it is normal.

Well of course if fine to have empty stomach between meals, but that’s the point isn’t it, at the moment nobody knows if the child IS getting three decent meals a day.

Is all well saying no snacks if you know your child has eaten well, but maybe this child hasn’t?

What time does she come around each day? Could she stay for one meal a day with you ie lunch?

@Cormoran I’ve never met a monagasque, I don’t want to derail the thread but would you do an AMA?

OP I'm going to go against the grain and say I think your gut is right.

This child is clearly hungry and needs food. For whatever reason she's not getting what she needs at home, whether due to a sinister reason or just being underfed due to lack of knowledge.

You potentially have a chance to make a real difference to this girls summer / life and if you can afford to do so, I would feed her!

That post up thread from a pp about being that hungry child really stood out to me. You have the chance to make that kind of a difference to someone's life.

In terms of cost etc I think you've had some great suggestions. I would also suggest seeing if she joins you for breakfast / lunch and eats a decent meal or two does that stop the snack requests. That would give a good indication of whether she eats enough at home.

There are of course boundaries you can put in place about what is offered and how often and you should stick to those when you've decided what they are. Kids (and adults!) need boundaries.

Also agree with another pp that it is worth finding out what she would eat at home and if there is anything else going on there that might warrant a report to ss. Hopefully not but it is a possibility.

I am a softie though but I'd rather be a softie to be honest! I think it makes the world a better place.

Children can only eat what's made available and allowed. Your house, your rules.
My DD had a friend who asked for sweets when she came round because she had them every morning and afternoon at home. I didn't rush out and buy sweets to accommodate her.
If you are concerned that the friend is genuinely hungry, you could offer cereal or toast mid morning,. Limit them to one portion of fruit (while the friend is there) or make up a snack box with cucumber & cherry tomatoes, carrot sticks.
Agree with the suggestion of making up a jug of squash, then water when it's gone.

Is this not standard though?! From my experience, it's more common to have the kids that harass for snacks than don't?! You just say no if not appropriate and give them a snack if not bothered?! Everyone's always quite fascinated how my eldest can look so pleased to see a snack, and devour it so quickly, it's like he's never seen food before sometimes! Luckily for me they all seem to have found it amusing and understand he's fed a lot at home, not that he acts like it, because judging by this thread I'd be reported by now by most of you 🙈

Obviously OP, if you are worried then you shouldn't ignore that but just from another perspective - asking for snacks isn't that uncommon around here! Lots of children do! Not all would, but lots do.

@Twilightstarbright this made me laugh. No, I don't think so