making a rod for your own back ? what have you done to hear this classic quote

[robinredbreast]

picking up baby when she crys -rfyob[ rod for your own back]
bf on demand rfyob
letting baby sleep in our bed when she was very small and bf in the night rfyob

rod for your own back, such a horrible saying isnt it?wonder where it orginated from

Lying on DS's bed with him until he fell asleep.

Putting him in bed with us during early hours of morning when he had woken up.

oh yeah i get that one too mishymoo having a snuggle in the morning seroius rfyob lol

Feeding dd to sleep

Carrying her in a sling whilst she slept

Oh yes pretty much everything I did with DD - according to exMIL.

Wierdly enough, ex (33) and his sister (29) are both selfish, spoilt, ignorant, and insensitive with commitment issues and drug problems - despite her obviously wonderful and totally non-rod making way of bringing them up.

Oh god this is the worst thing anyone can say to a new mum. My own mother said this phrase to me linked to just about everything I did in the first 6 weeks with DS. I will never ever utter it to anyone ever, makes you so anxious

Main ones she disapproved of were bf (on demand !!), co-sleeping, refusal to buy (or let her buy) babywalker.

Everything i do ...apparantly

Going in to cuddle DS1 when he cried. Aged SIX WEEKS.
Actually from MIL to DH (and she is lovely really).

bf-ing on demand, co-sleeping, babywearing

obviously, babies need to learn to stand on their own two feet (in a babywalker, natch )

hmm i think the saying is true

totally agree joliegirl its such a horrible saying isnt it?
wonder where the saying comes from?

what other horrid saying are there?

another one i hate is spare the rod, spoil the child! although at least you dont hear that one v often

or children should be seen and not heard! phew thanks goodness you dont really hear that one either

DS1 was born 4 weeks early and two weeks after he ended up in hospital on a drip. He was drousy and had sickness, diarrhea, mottled skin. They did all sorts of horrible tests and I was holding him and rocking him to sleep when a nurse came in and asked me if I always held him while he went to sleep, then told me i was making a rod for my own back.

it would be nice if children were not heard but seen

was thinking the same thing sea, lol

OMG Lazarou - hope you reported her, although i expect you had other things on your mind

Well, she was slightly older and a bit old school in her thinking, and the other nurses did tell me about her before they went off shift.

My HV told me I was making a rfmob when I (foolishly) told her I was feeding on demand. I didn't go on to tell her that I picked dd up whenever she cried, carried her around with me, co-slept and fed to sleep too. I think she might have had a total breakdown. Thank the Lord I was surrounded by sensible family who were completely non-judgmental - though I know MIL didn't approve she kept it to herself.

lazarou - and there was me thinking nurses were meant to keep personal opinions to themselves.

My mum and MIL keep saying I'll get RFYOB when I cuddle / hold ds (9 mo)for "too long" and by co sleeping if he's not having a good night.

I just told everybody including HV that I was learning to "love my rods". DD now just turned one a very content little girl and I don't regret picking her up when she cried, feeding her to sleep for months, bfing on demand (still do that at one year old, a rod I particularly like), using a sling etc...

IMO its MILs that are so concerned about the rods - why, they don't have to live with them.

i wish i really did have a rod for my back - it might sort out my knackered back from carrying ds in a shoulder sling!!

ditto tUD - I could do with better posture!

Has there anyone who has co-slept NEVER had that said to them . I heard it so often especially from one of my sils who used to preface it with a sigh and a shake of the head and say "Well, as I've said before...."

IS there anyone.. obviously

cutting fruit into pieces - RFYOB
peeling fruit - RFYOB
agreeing to go and fetch something DD wants from upstairs because she is busy with a craft thing - RFYOB
always taking water when we go out - RFYOB (like, it would be better to end up buying some fizzy drink because there is nothing else?)

I made a rod for spine support purposes.