Baby will only eat crisps

[reallybloodytired]

Really not what I thought would happen when weaning. Six weeks in and he won’t eat anything (he is seven months.)

I have tried purées and non purées, pouches, just putting food in front of him, giving him the spoon (he throws it on the floor!) - he just won’t eat.

But he will eat melty puffs.

Can anyone give me some pointers - I’m really worried.

I'm confused about your furniture logistics - does he have a high chair? I wouldn't have him on your lap for meals. Messy, for one thing!

Where possible you should be eating together. We work in the dining room but stop for lunch together, have breakfast in there together and dinner together. Your DP is presumably still having three meals a day, most of the time you should be able to have them together.

We had high chairs in the dining room and one in the kitchen as well. For a time we also had one of those boosters that can be strapped onto a chair or used on the floor. So he can definitely sit to eat.

Plate up some of what you're having, plonk it in front of him, chat and eat normally, don't gawp at him the whole time. Show how you enjoy things like crunching lettice or squishing peas. Eating is a sociable thing, having someone anxious standing over him the whole time is a bit off putting. Don't worry about how much he's eating or if he's eating anything at all, so long as he's still having milk it's fine until he's one.

Personally I'm not a fan of the processed stuff like crisps and pouches etc, though I can see why they are handy!

Do you have a table in the kitchen? If so have you tried one of those chairs that clips onto the edge of your table? Maybe he'd like that better than the high chair, and then you could sit at the table too and eat a bit of toast or something.

Otherwise, foam mats for the back patio...?

But you've also bee told that mushing it up, and smearing it around and playing with it is all correct right now. At this stage, it isnt about eating. It's about learning. Let him play with the food. It's normal.

He'll eat when he is hungry. It will happen. Keep offering him variety and involve him in the family meal time. Dont worry if nothing gets swallowed or goes in right now. It doesnt matter.

People suggesting foods to try are just trying to help, because you mentioned puches and purees. So they're suggesting solids that might be worth a go. If you're already doing that, then that's great. Let him play with the food throughout the meal. Dont stress

OP, I am wondering if you need to seek out some support for yourself? You do seem to be in a difficult place emotionally and like things are really getting to you. How is your sleep? Is baby's dad in the picture and doing his bit? Do you have friends or family to support and chat to you? I am wondering if your mental health is suffering and you perhaps need to tag in your GP or HV for some support.

Really and truly, stop "feeding" your baby at all. Make yourself some toast with avo or something, and just sit down to eat it with baby on lap or on the floor nearby. Don't push him to eat it, don't offer it to him, don't hold it to his mouth. Just eat it yourself. He will do what he wants and needs to do, including eat it when he is ready.

Follow SR_Nutrition on Instagram she is the weaning queen. If you stick with what she says you will have a child who will eat anything!

@reallybloodytired

I didnt call you dramatic for posting or asking for advice. I said you were being dramatic when you said that people were telling you not to post. Absolutely no one did that. No one has said anything bad about you posting or asking for advice. Everyone has give very helpful advice, as well as telling you we've been there, we understand.

You're the one repeating that you're being told to stop asking or being told you're an idiot. Absolutely no one has said that. Stop making up slights, calm down, take a breath and consider the advice you've actually been given.

Sorry you're not feeling very supported by these messages OP, I think people are saying it all worked out for them in the long run and there's no magic wand. You're not doing a bad job. If you're feeling bad about yourself you might want to look for some help.

Specifically on problems you mentioned - floor wise we have splash mats under high chairs, you can use a shower curtain or bit of tablecloth, much easier to clean than a carpet.

Re crying in the high chair, you might try putting him in there to do painting or bash a saucepan or whatever, so he doesn't only associate it with food. DC used to like being in a high chair in the kitchen so they could see me cooking at get a better view of things.

My advice fwiw:
Take a step back right now.
Milk is nourishing him so park that worry.

Think about it as you eating and him being around that. So if he's happy on your lap and you can eat your lunch then that is him at a stage in weaning. The same way that sitting with an adult looking at a book is a stage in learning to read.
Similarly if he sits in his high chair with a favourite toy for a minute before he decides he's had enough then that's a positive. Maybe another chair or a plastic cover on the floor might be the way forward there (and try the high chair later when he's forgotten about hating it?)

Rome wasn't built in a day. Good luck, I do remember the frustration and worry.

OP, do you suffer with anxiety generally? You sound so overwrought about this! I don't think anyone is trying to make you feel bad, but actually, the more fo a state you get in about things, the more baby will pick up, they just do, and you really want to avoid making mealtimes stressful for him. Take a breath, congratulate yourself on your beautiful baby, and listen. This is so normal.

The mess is inevitable. Put down a shower curtain / newspaper / whatever. Or only offer solids that can be cleared up straight after. Sit him on the floor if he won't go in the high chair. Eating every meal in your lap is too intense. If you have to replace one carpet when you've finished having babies, so be it. Toddlers are not nice to carpet either.

It may be your friends are telling you their babies are weaning well but they have different standards. I have 3. One refused all solids til over 10 months. One would only eat purees but started at 7 months ish - wasn't interested before. Youngest does really well with finger food now at 1, but that's only been the last few months. From maybe 6-8 he mostly poked things and threw them on the floor. That IS weaning. It's a learning curve.

And I know you don't want to hear it, but the melty puffs are junk. He probably likes the texture on his gums so try stuff that replicates that. Few small bits of whatever you're having minus the salt. Exaggerate your own enjoyment, leave his unmentioned in reach, take it away later. Be loudly pleased if it goes near his mouth.

Firstly, the only reason he will eat only crisps is because you have given them to him. That’s not a criticism, but crisps like melty puffs (have never actually encountered those but assume they’re something like whatsits?) contain additives which are essentially addictive and make the child want more of them.

Get rid of the crisps. Get rid of all the processed foods, pouches, jars etc, and just give him bits and pieces or whatever you’re having.

Cubes of cheese, breadsticks, pieces of apple cut up grapes are all foods he can pick up if he wants to. Don’t stress about it. If he doesn’t eat the food remove it without comment after you’ve eaten.

If he grabs something off your plate and eats it put a bit of that on his plate.

Remember he’s never actually eaten before. He’s still learning what this eating thing is all about. And once he finds things he likes then he will move forward from there.

There is of course going to be food he doesn’t like, we all have that even as adults, but the more you let him see and taste, the more likely it is he’ll find something he likes, and then go forward from there.

Oh love

Thinking about it, he is only a matter of weeks post weaning age. There really is no rush. If he's getting plenty of nutrition he'll be fine.

Once he starts walking he'll use up a lot more energy and get more of an appetite. And probably seeing other kids at nursery eat will help too.

It's early early days. Take it easy.

All this stage of development all that is important is that he gets the idea that some people like to eat food and sometimes it can taste nice.
I had one baby who I desperately tried to wean on homecooked purées from 4 months (that was the advice back then) and she was a real struggle - not interested, always fussy (though at 20, is now quite the foodie!).
The other baby, by which time advice had changed to 6 months, was literally grabbing handfuls of anything off my own plate by 5.5 months - I couldn't stop her! They're all different.

I would press reset and stop giving food altogether.

I weaned DD very very slowly. Didn't start until 6m and then it was one little meal a day at whatever time in the day we had time and she was relaxed.

They only NEED milk until they're 1 so you could stop for a month and start again. I went against the advice to start with bitter flavours and started with sweet veg instead as I wanted DD to enjoy eating as a first step and I personally would never eat pureed cabbage but would eat pureed butternut squash for example.

By the time she was 1 she was still only really having two meals a day. There's just no rush to get them onto food. Far better to take a step back and try again with a different approach once any negative associations (for you or the baby) with trying to eat have had a chance to dissipate.

DD didn't discover that melty puffs etc. existed until she was at least 1. I'd recommend not introducing anything like this until they're eating proper food consistently.

A lot of the replies are really supportive and I am grateful for that. I’m not prone to anxiety as a rule but I am a bit worried (and it isn’t social media, I’ve sat with other babies while they eat) and the fact he cries in his high chair is a worry because it seems to suggest he’s already got negative associations with food.

I do realise it’s annoying when people post about the same thing but as I’ve said there just isn’t very much support out there and the things I’ve read all just offer recipes and suggestions. I can understand him not liking some things but he just won’t eat anything which is a worry.

As I’ve said please stop saying to not give him crisps - I’ve included this to explain he will eat one thing. He’s had three in his life (the puffs, not packets) it isn’t as if I’m giving him a grab bag of walkers

We had this issue with our eldest son. We bought one of those high chairs that strap onto a chair but used it mostly on the floor (ours was Fisher Price, which was absolutely brilliant and lasted us through three sons!). We would let him watch a baby einstein dvd and would put some food on the tray. He didn't like everything, but he did eat most of what we gave him. I would sit near him and have my own food.

My baby is 7 months and I’m not even thinking about weaning yet 🤷‍♀️

She was slightly prem and I don’t think she’s ready, it’s just not necessary at this age as they’re getting enough from milk.

I'll share my experience in case it helps. My baby from the get go reall struggled with feeding, we struggled to breast feed and we struggled with bottles for the first few months. When we started weaning he would eat melty puffs but other finger foods were a struggle, we started with purees and he would have a mouthful or two and that was it. We did this for 3 or 4 weeks. Then we went to my mums for dinner and she fed him some of her roast dinner with a fork and he gobbled it up.

What I took from this was he didn't like smooth food of one taste and perhaps our spoons were an issue. I bought vital baby spoons which are fab and started feeding him our food, we completely missed the puree stage. I don't believe babies take to finger foods like people pretend and it takes time so we started slowly with them and over time he's got the hang of it. So I personally would try different spoons and a food with lots of taste like a spag bol and see how it goes!

This is something every parent needs to face. All through your child's life, you're going to sit with other kids and see them doing things that your kid can't do yet. And believe me, ither parents will see things in your child that their kid can't do yet.

That is the horrible side of being a parent. Thinking that your child isnt doing what other kids are doing. Every single parent thinks that. We all have that worry.

As your child ages, you start to see that your kid will get there, they will overtake their peers on other things, they will find their own way. So when you're sitting watching those other babies eat, try to let it go. It doesnt matter. In 5 years, those goods might only eat chicken nuggets whilst yours eats whatever is in offer. You've no idea what will come.

It doesnt matter what the other babies are doing. Not one bit.

All that matters is your son. And letting him find his own way. At the moment, he doesnt need to eat. It is for fun, for exploration, for mess. Let him muck around. If he isnt eating in 3 or 4 months time, then that's when you start looking for a bit of help but even then, I wouldnt be worrying about it. He's getting nutrition so it isnt a worry.

Crying in the high chair could be about the food or it could be about the high chair. You've had other suggestions about booster seats or clip on chairs or messy mats on the floor and plonk him down. Try them.

@reallybloodytired

And again, not one person is annoyed that you have posted about this a few times. No one is annoyed. No one thinks you're wrong or silly or anytbing like that.

The comments about that were telling you to stop worrying, not telling you to stop posting. You're posting a lot because you're so worried about it, and that is what we're trying to help with.

There isnt anything to be worried about. I promise. Your baby is doing exactly what he is meant to be doing right now. We're asking you to try and stop worrying. No one is telling you to stop posting.

mustry, that does sound similar. I tried so hard to breast feed but I got pushed onto formula. Even with formula his reflux was dreadful and he was still only having 90ml at a time right up until he was about four and a half months. Even now he doesn’t have very big feeds. He just can’t handle them.

I don't believe babies take to finger foods like people pretend

How funny. It's the only way both my children ever ate before they learnt to use cutlery, all food was put on their tray and they fed themselves. I have video evidence, particularly of my PFB when I had more time and energy to film him. Every bit of food that ended up in him, he picked up himself.

Anyway.... the crying in the high chair isn't necessarily about food. @reallybloodytired - is he comfy and supported in the high chair? Does he cry if you use the high chair as an entertainment rather than for food? Can you organise a different kind of chair like a bumbo with a tray, or can you find somewhere to use one of the table clamp type chairs? Or even a booster seat that you clip to a dining chair?

Porridge was a good first food for my fussy eater. All they would eat for the first few weeks, started mixing fruit in around same time started introducing veg, 2 now and eats very well.
Make it with the formula or breastmilk.

Thanks, unfortunately we don’t have a table to eat at just at the moment which does make life harder. I’ve got hardly any money (unpaid bit of maternity!) but will see if there’s anything cheap on Facebook marketplace.

I’ve tried with porridge, I thought he’d love it (I do!)

I did finger food for all my kids. First was some kind of poster child for weaning from 6 months. Second didn't eat until he was 10 months or so, just threw it on the floor or very occasionally put it in his mouth, gagged a bit, threw on the floor.
Both of them eat a great variety of food now at 12 and 13.
Don't resort to giving them stuff you'd rather they didn't have in the hope they eat it.... Just give them what you are happy for them to eat and they will do so when ready.
I never fed my kids 'baby food' or any of those 'snacks' marketed at babies and toddlers and all three eat a great range now.