Feel like i'm grieving. Not bfing

[Lullaby88]

My 9week old was exclusively bf until 8 weeks. He wasn't picking up weight. However to me he seemed content aftrr feeds, was producing wet nappies. He hsd regained his birth weight plus more at 2 weeks but then his weight gain slowed down. I had support from lac consultant she saw how he latched and said it sll looked well. I was feeding 2hrly and he did begin taking an hour for each feed and getting cranky. Altho nappies consistent. At 9 weeks he still hasnt csught up. So i v been told to formula feed but can offer breast at night exclusvly and in the day before each 3hrly bottle feed. I stsrtrd today giving him bottles. I feel so sad doing it like iv lost a part of me. Seeing my husband bottle feed my son is painful. I wanted th bond and closeness and didnt want othrr ppl feedin him. My mum fed him too and i feel i wont hav th feeding bond anymore as anyone csn feed him now. Anyone experienced anything similar? My son seems really content aftrr FF so i know its the right thing to do. But feel rubbish inside. Lac consltnt said she will refrr him for tongue tie but th wait is 6 weeks. If its tongue tie she will help me to excl bf again. I think id struggle doing that tho all over again.

I feel really down as im not able to spend time with my baby and my toddler. Theyrr growing up before me. Im just exhausted with feeding and all. Can anyone suggest what theyd do? Even if it is bottles. How hard is it to build up the supply again?

Hi OP, it's great that the TT has been diagnosed and snipped!

IF you want to continue breastfeeding, then many of us have already given the same advice. Feed, feed, feed. Skin-to-skin, even if it's just lying down for a feed with your top off at nap time and bed time.

I'm sorry I can't recall - has a health professional raised concerns about his weight? Or is it that you don't feel he's gaining 'enough'?

It's true that FF babies can look chubbier than BF babies, but this by no means signifies that they're healthier or happier.

I definitely would NOT be giving formula first, then topping up with breastmilk, then pumping, if my ultimate goal was to happily breastfeed. Cut out the ff, breastfeed FIRST, then if you want to pump you could (tho I never found it v easy to get v much via a pump.)

The only way to boost your supply is to increase the demand from your baby. HTH.

Agree with @HBGKC, focus on putting to the breast as much as possible. Fingers crossed the TT revision does the trick now!

Thank you very much xx

@Lullaby88 hang in there, my baby is 8 weeks and had her tongue tie snipped privately at 3 weeks old it took a while but the latch is so much better. In our case she kept on and off, biting my nipples, crying at the breast. She was putting on weight but that was because she constantly. It took loads of skin to skin and cuddles in bed and the latch is almost perfect.
Regarding your toddler please don't feel guilty for using the tv to entertain him sometimes, he will be fine. You've got great advice from pp, best of luck.

Breastfeed first. Put the TV on and just feed, feed, feed while your toddler watches TV. It won’t always be like this. Once you reestablish EBF things will be so much easier. Baby needs at least two weeks to relearn how to use their tongue. You’ve subjected baby to the procedure so I would make a go of breastfeeding.

Hi OP, couldn’t just read and run as I’m in a similar position with my DS2 now. He’s 14 weeks and been diagnosed with a posterior tongue tie. His is getting snipped this Friday. We had similar issues re weight gain. DS2 is a content baby so it took a while to realise what the issue was as he ‘appeared’ to feed well. He dropped 2 percentiles and I had input from our local infant feeding team who diagnosed the tongue tie and put us on the waiting list for the procedure. I completely agree that fed is best by all means, but I feel sad for you that they were so quick to push to formula feeding if you genuinely wanted to breastfeed.
I haven’t read through all of the comments so forgive me if this has already been suggested, but have you considered using a supplementary nursing system (SNS)? You put either formula or expressed breast milk into a bottle and it runs down a fine tube which you attach to your breast next to the nipple. Baby then latches to feed and gains the extra milk without putting in the extra work. Babies with tongue tie have to work harder because of the latch issues, so get tired more quickly and are potentially missing out on extra milk, hence the weight loss. Fiddly to begin with but it’s a fab piece of kit. I used the medela SNS for a week and DS2 gained double the amount of weight as he did the previous week. DS2 also refused bottles so left me with little choice 😅 but there we have it! You can get them on Amazon for about £30.
Definitely recommend you speak to your lactation consultant about it. The SNS saved my breastfeeding journey.
Wish you all the best going forward, whatever feeding option you decide to take x

Could keep bfing but its going to be a process. My baby is getting frustrated on breast and crying. Its stressing us both out. Id hav to build up a bit of a supply and if that doesnt increase then il combi feed him . Dont want to be unrealistic and then feel let down.

Could try Sns but i just feel im doing so much already i need to get some head space.