Newborn sleepless nights

[Shmerlock]

Oh my lord, nothing could have prepared me for the exhaustion I would feel with my little one (DD).

She's currently 9 days old and has yet to sleep tonight!! Each night she wakes hourly - usually wanting a feed, but will only feed for 10mins before nodding off on the boob! As soon as I place her back in the crib she starts to flail and whinge, if I ignore this (which if I'm honest I rarely do) then this turns to full blown screams!

I wouldn't mind all this if it weren't for the fact that in comparison she has a very good sleep pattern during the day!!!

Anyone else in the same boat - please feel free to vent below!

Is this standard newborn behaviour!? Any advice is appreciated - so far I've tried white noise, winding her, nappy changes, long cuddles after a feed bug nothing seems to work!!!

You have my sympathies, the newborn stage is exhausting. Are you sure that she's getting enough milk? My DD screamed for the first week and we eventually got so worried about her we took her to A&E , turns out she was starving hungry and we end up FF from then on - of course a couple of weeks later she had awful silent reflux too...its a journey! Just try to sleep when she does and do whatever you can to get by, it all settle down after a couple of months!

Just to say it's not recommended to swaddle and cosleep, both are good options but should not be done together.

It's not meant to be evidence based, but some of my friends did absolutely swear by the results of a cranial osteopath for their babies who had had difficult births.

Dummy!

@MaMaD1990 the midwife was only here yesterday and said she's feeding well and putting weight on, will keep an eye though!! Thanks for the heads up xx

@BertieBotts I've heard a few people mention this, I need to have a look into it

@BakedBeeeen brutal is a very good word to describe it!!!

Could be hungry. Babies like to eat a lot t in the evening and night. If she has drained your milk she will keep trying to feed and not settle. If you have the same problem tomorrow, maybe try a bottle of formula or expressed milk (expressed earlier in the day) If she has that and drops off for a good sleep, you will know what the problem was. Worked for us...

@MotherOfCrocodiles aah right, how would I know if she'd drained my milk? She was still suckling all night, and both breasts were very heavy and leaky! We'll take a bottle of bf milk up with us tonight and see how that goes!

OP my baby is three weeks old and he has been the same. We also spent a week in hospital after his birth.

I find he does the same thing with feeding - drinks for maybe 20 mins then goes to sleep but wakes up and crises when I put him in his crib.

I e found a couple of things help. I give him a bottle at night and he takes more from that so he sleeps a few hours. Last night he slept from 1 or 2 (not sure as DH fed him) until 6 am. I give formula at that time and otherwise breastfeed but you could try expressing and giving a bottle.

I have also found white noise helps him sleep. I've found videos of white noise for babies on YouTube and now I know it works for him I've ordered him a white noise toy.

You could also check on your bf technique to see if you can get her to take more in one sitting but I have found it is partly him just wanting to be picked up. But if they're not hungry then the white noise could help.

I've also found he sometimes settles better in his pram.

He is over three weeks now and seems to be getting better at feeding.

Re draining milk, if I think I might have bone left I just use my hand to see if anything comes out and there usually is milk but giving him one or two bottles of formula a day works for us, though it has been one the last couple of days.

We did a swaddle but with the arms out for DD, she liked that. Sounds like she might get on really well with a dummy if she's sucking her hands - the MAM ones are a good shape for breastfed babies apparently.

We would also put a hot water bottle in the cot for a bit before transferring her in, so she wasn't going from warm person to cold surface.

You could also try putting your hand flat on her chest, palm down, after putting her in the cot and gently rock her a bit to ease the person-to-cot transition.

Also recommend the Love to Dream swaddle - holds the arms up above the head (so baby can still touch face through the bag) - you can let baby fall asleep on you then the swaddle stops the Moro reflex waking them when you put them down. I also hold my hand on my wee ones chest for a minute or so when I lay her down, seems to help so maybe worth a try. Good luck, I hope you get more sleep soon!!

@ElderMillennial thanks for the advice, I think we'll try and bottle of my milk tonight and hope that helps her nod off!! So hard isn't it!! 🙈

@Roseability18 we'll definitely have a look into these swaddles!

If your breast still feel full he probably hasn't drained them actually but may be worth trying a bottle of expressed milk anyway in case he takes more that way.....? Sounds like anything is worth a shot!

White noise and love to dream swaddle!

It’s so hard, but it will settle, eventually. But so difficult when you’re in the trenches and desperate for a bit of sleep at night.

Seriously invest in a swaddle sack like the Tommy tippee one. Seriously.

Your breasts could be engorged and therefore hard for baby to Latch effectively and therefore baby works too hard gets tired, not fed enough, low energy and falls asleep.

Yes it’s normal!

At first those night feeds are essential to establish supply, it releases a hormone vital for milk production. So while it’s pita at the time, those night feeds will get your supply up quickly and then they will start to go longer. Bottles may help, but feeding at night will increase your supply fastest.

I pulled the cot up to the bed, dropped side, so it was nearly co sleeping. I could fish her out easily, and just lift/roll her back in. Also grobags so they don’t notice the temperature change so much when you put them back.

I also used to put mine to sleep by a window in the day. Normal noise levels etc. Helps with any jaundice and also helps establish night/day patterns.

Mine didn’t like traditional swaddling but she liked the arms up love to dream ones. It’s a tough time and I’m afraid. The first year or so is on and off rough for sleep with a lot of babies. You get used to the lack of sleep to a certain extent. I would advise not clock watching at night and just accepting any sleep as a blessing. If you’ve fed them, winded them and made them comfy there’s not much more you can do

I know you say the midwife has checked for a TT but I'd be inclined to see if you can get a lactation specialist to look (midwives are rarely trained on TT and posterior ones are often missed).

TT was missed on DS2 despite me specifically asking several midwives to check and being reassured his tongue movement was good. I very nearly had to give up BF (despite ebf DS1 for 18 months) because DS2 just couldn't latch at all.

It's entirely possible it's just standard newborn behaviour but I think it's worth getting it ruled out if you can. We paid privately for someone to divide DS2's TT, was £150. The Association of Tongue Tie Practitioners website has a list of people and you can search by area.

If all else fails, DD1 slept on top on me until 3 months old... clingy clingy baby

Just to say - midwives and HV's are not properly trained to find tongue ties. DS's only got spotted when we went private as the NHS waiting list was 13 weeks!

Also seconding a cranial osteopath. Worked wonders.

DS had reflux and CMPA, but the tongue tie
snip and osteopath really helped.

I'd definitely get it looked at!

@MotherOfCrocodiles

If your breast still feel full he probably hasn't drained them actually but may be worth trying a bottle of expressed milk anyway in case he takes more that way.....? Sounds like anything is worth a shot!

I know you're being helpful and I don't want to sound horrible, but I wouldn't pump before 6 weeks. I had an awful start to breastfeeding and only got to finally ebf after a lot of work a while ago. I'm now training as a breastfeeding support peer with BfN, and we're all told to discourage pumping before 6 weeks (unless there a medical issue) as it can encourage too much milk and risks the mother getting mastitis and oversupply. Not something I'd have known before!

I know you're being helpful and I don't want to sound horrible, but I wouldn't pump before 6 weeks.

If you don't want to sound "horrible" then maybe just share your opinion / experience without replying to a PP as if they are wrong because their advice advice different from yours