2 yr old late bedtime & nursery naps

[itscomplicatedlife]

Out LG is almost 2, this last couple of months we've really struggled getting her to bed at a reasonable time, at the wknd she's in bed by 8pm but only naps 30 mins, but in the wk the nursery we're letting her nap 1.5 hours which was meaning she's been going to sleep at 8.30-9pm. She is at nursery 5 days pwk, she arrives at 8am stays until 5pm, she's usually up at 6.30 bang on most mornings. It's just exhausting as we get abs no time to get a thing done in the evenings, she's also very clingy and needs one of us at her side most of the time. We are also managing a 30 min walk in the evening and park visit for 30 mins 7-8pm as we started trying to wind bedtime down at 7.30 with abs no luck still goes to sleep around 8.30-9, the park just gives us something else to do. I asked the nursery to reduce her nap to 30 mins but wasn't greatly received as advised she really needs an hour at her age, perhaps they're right I don't know, just personally feel like a 8.30 to 9 bedtime is so late! I went to bed at 8 most months until I was about 10 and had abs no issue! If we take her up to the cot also before she drops off she screams the house down 🤦‍♀️

Worth noting she's extremely high energy, she has no siblings or friends nearby to wear her out so the evenings are really tiring for us as it's a long day for us all. Does anyone know if the nurseries drop the nap some point after age 2? At wknds she manages perfectly happily all day with a nap from 12-12.30 and is in bed by about 8-8.15 latest. They let them nap 12.30-2!

So we are a similar situation but DD naps too little at nursery so it impacts her sleep. She needs 2.5 hours (she will be 2 in aug) and gets about 1hr tops 5 days a week at nursery.

She falls asleep on us by 6pm and is in bed by then otherwise is a screaming mess …. And up between 5-6am….

But it’s not forever, we’ve a 6 year old and we know it doesn’t last forever.
You just have to ride it out now, no advice as it can’t be fixed other than, give it 6-12 months and they drop naps completely! Light at the end of the tunnel

Also nurseries tend to let them nap to at least 2.5 years and then they stop when they hit preschool room. My DS dropped them at nursery at about 2.9

@Sunshinedaisymeadowsxx Thanks so much for the reply, I think you're right abs just got to ride this one out! She sleeps through which tbh was a nightmare but now we've got this late bedtime due to the nurseries 1.5 hour nap policy, tricky one. I sound totally selfish but I abs need a bit more than 9-10 to get some stuff done, by now I just can't be bothered but like you say she'll drop it at some point in the next year and I have to remember the old adage of it too shall pass!! I think she moves up a stage in to a room with 2-3 year olds which may wear her out a bit more and I guess they may not nap as much but god knows! Just feel so bloody knackered!! Esp when I see some people with more subdued kids her age who play on their own more easily and go to bed around 7.30-8pm! How did I end up with the bloody energiser bunny she's going to finish me off!! X x

We had the same issue with our daughter recently
(turns 2 next week). She needs to be awake by 2pm latest and have no more than an hour's nap to be asleep by 8pm. We asked nursery to do the same and they were fine about it and she's still in the baby room (only two rooms - small nursery).

I would be really put out if the nursery refused. She's your child after all. They're not the ones having to put her to bed!

Sorry, I have no advice - I think if it were me I'd seriously consider finding a more accomodating setting but I know that's easier said than done.

That's not great from nursery. I would expect them to accommodate this tbh.

Ds would be up until 9.30/10pm on nursery days when he'd had a 45 minute nap, and fast asleep by 7.30 every other day. Our nursery made some reluctant noises but at every drop off I would remind them that he would be up all night if he had a nap, so they did stop them. Occasionally now he falls asleep into his tea at 5pm and they make a little bit of a point about it!

Nursery need to do as you say.
I would tell them again.

I work in a nursery, we have a handful of children who have limits to their nap times or have a certain time that they need to be woken up. We always do our best to stick to it where possible!

My two both gave up on naps at about 22months (despite my best efforts). If they napped in the car they then wouldn’t sleep until 10pm! They are all different and nursery should accommodate their individual needs.

We have had this with DD from about 22 months, she doesn't nap on days at home now (although if we go out out she sleeps in the car...but is generally very tired from being out out so not too bad). I asked nursery to limit her to an hour when she's there which they have done, I don't think it's especially unusual! Could you say to them no more than 45 mins as a compromise and see how that goes?

If you want her naps limited then nursery need to listen!

@Ihaveoflate Yes agree, I think as it's a small setting also, just the two rooms also they probably find it hard not having them all sleeping at the same time. Just not managing to get anything done and feel likes it's an incredibly long day for us and her also, just hope when she moves to next room it'll help in some way x x

Hey all, thanks for the replies, I think I will just have to keep dropping in to the nursery about her late bedtime and hope that they will try to wake her but I suspect it may fall on deaf ears, quite frustrating but prob not a lot can do about it. She easily naps for 30 mins at a wknd and I know that's been enough for her as if it wasn't she'd wake up in a foul mood which at that point id know to let her sleep for longer but again if she has just the 30 Mins she's asleep at a reasonable time around 8pm so she's def sleeping too long with rthem in the wk 🤦‍♀️ thanks all I'll keep on reminding too 💗 x

8.30/9pm isn't that late. Yo be honest if your trying tk wind down for bedtime, I've no idea why you would be at the park that late at night.
Shes 2 now, she can be told to go and play until you get things done, or watch TV etc. To say you can't get anything done at night with a 2 year old is pretty ridiculous. There are 2 of you for a start.
30 mins is not a long enough nap for a child that's awake for more than 14 hours a day. You might aswell not bother.
Her usual bedtime is 8pm, really an extra 30 minds to an hour isn't making much of a difference.

A 2yo that sleeps 9 hours at night and only 30mins day is preciously little. She needs 12 hours of sleep in 24 hrs minimum. Children's brains develop during sleep, sleep is crucial to prevent health issues, she heals and stores learned behaviours and all that.

I'd say for a baby to be up at 6:30am and then only sleep for 30mins and be awake till 8pm even is way too long.

It is a long day, I won't dispute that, but I agree that a 2yo can be asked to play by herself while mummy does things and plus two parents means one can babysit, one can clean/cook/do things. I would not compromise child's sleep for a chilled evening.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

You haven't got a child like ours clearly. Our girl has never until this last month napped longer than 30 mins since she turned 3 months old. Sounds surprising but it's very true, my maternity leave was exhausting! She woke multiple times in the nt quite often and only stopped doing that a few months ago, she could also be up from 6 most mornings ans still only go to be from 7.30, shes only ever napped at nursery for 30 mins but recently got in a habit of napping for 1.5 hours which means she is not even remotely tired even by about 8pm! We have to take her to the park to try and tire her out as if not she just races around the house doing the same thing she could do at the park. When I say she has a lot of energy, her energy is very unusual! She only napped at nursery for 30 mins after about 5 months and even then she was hit and miss. The nursery manager whose been there a long time told us that she has never seen a child with so much energy! She has hardly slept much since she turned about 3 months old.

@ZooKeeper19 I'm starting to realise we don't have your average child, Bethany has always been up from between 6/6.30 most mornings which started from about 3 months old. She would wake around 6 having woke multiple times in the night, at signs of tiredness in the day I would try and either pit her in the cot to sleep or help rock to sleep but she wouldn't go to sleep, the crying was horrendous because she needed to sleep but refused to. She spent most of each day in an awful mood and the only way I could get her to sleep was taking her out in the car and pretty much 30 mins in she'd be up wide awake. When she started nursery at 12 mo she was up around same time in at 8 until 5 and only rarely napped 30 mins, it took months before she would nap and 30 mins was the max she would take which caused an issue for the nursery as she'd wake the others. It's only more recently she's napped the 30 mins regularly but the last 2-3 months gone to 1.5 hours but now isn't even slightest tired until about 8.15, today she had an hour nap and is only just showing signs of tiredness.

Re playing alone; this I encouraged many months ago but she likes to interact, she will rarely sit and play alone, I don't know if that's normal or not but that's how she is, she's a 100% Velcro child which makes it incredibly hard to get things done, my partner also is out the house from 6 until 6.30 sometimes later depending on his day so I don't get a hand usually until around 7, it's busy.

I'm a childminder and I've got 3 kids, I've seen it all and been through it all. 8.30/9pm isn't a late bedtime. I had and still have a ds who won't go to bed before 10 or later and gets up at the crack of dawn.
Your dd clearly needs the longer nap at nursery so 30 to an hour longer at night isn't that big of a deal.

I've had parents that ask me to cut 1 year olds naps short during the day but I refuse. Its cruel and means the child is crabbit and annoyed the rest of the day. That's not OK so mummy and daddy can have an easier night. My job is to care for the children, that means meeting their needs, and if a child needs to sleep, I Iet them.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion the nursery find it surprising how late she goes to bed but aren't surprised that our little girl does this due to the amount of energy she has. A few women I work with have 2-3 year olds who all are in bed by 7.30-8 and nap from 1-2 hours in the day. They're not all the same and they do vary but I've always known I've had a high energy one when my friends said how I must be enjoying the blissful day time naps with her on the sofa!! Oh how wrong they were, totally the opposite lol!! Just glad I found my people on a Velcro baby group as felt like no one believed me!

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion My child is 2 not 1, I don't condone sleeping shorter than an hour under the age of 1 either but I don't think I said anything in respect of 1 year olds..she's a very unusual high energy child, she happily tries to play in the park with much older children it doesn't bother her, she has a lot of mental and physical energy to burn and has never wanted to nap until just this last couple of months not sure why, perhaps it's started to catch up with her

I would just roll with it for now. My DS was going to bed at 2030 for awhile and it started creeping earlier.
How many days is she at nursery?

the nursery find it surprising how late she goes to bed but aren't surprised that our little girl does this due to the amount of energy she has.

So do they find it surprising or not? I don't. Like I said I've seen it all and it's probably just something you will have to put up with. Dont ask the nursery to wake a child that wants to sleep, who will then wake the children who need to sleep so you have an extra 30 mins to yourself at night.

[quote itscomplicatedlife]@Iminaglasscaseofemotion My child is 2 not 1, I don't condone sleeping shorter than an hour under the age of 1 either but I don't think I said anything in respect of 1 year olds..she's a very unusual high energy child, she happily tries to play in the park with much older children it doesn't bother her, she has a lot of mental and physical energy to burn and has never wanted to nap until just this last couple of months not sure why, perhaps it's started to catch up with her [/quote]
You didn't say it but I'm pointing put that it doesn't matter what age they are, if they need to sleep, they need to sleep.

I'm surprised nursery won't accommodate this - we had to cut DS down to an hour at about the same age and nursery were happy to help. He didn't get crabby if you do that, and it meant bedtime was much smoother and less stressful for everyone.

I also wouldn't worry about the total amount of sleep if she seems well rested when awake. DS hadn't got the memo about how much sleep he was "supposed" to have either. He averaged 11 hours in 24 in total at that age and was perfectly happy, healthy and full of beans. They're all different!