2 yr old late bedtime & nursery naps

[itscomplicatedlife]

Out LG is almost 2, this last couple of months we've really struggled getting her to bed at a reasonable time, at the wknd she's in bed by 8pm but only naps 30 mins, but in the wk the nursery we're letting her nap 1.5 hours which was meaning she's been going to sleep at 8.30-9pm. She is at nursery 5 days pwk, she arrives at 8am stays until 5pm, she's usually up at 6.30 bang on most mornings. It's just exhausting as we get abs no time to get a thing done in the evenings, she's also very clingy and needs one of us at her side most of the time. We are also managing a 30 min walk in the evening and park visit for 30 mins 7-8pm as we started trying to wind bedtime down at 7.30 with abs no luck still goes to sleep around 8.30-9, the park just gives us something else to do. I asked the nursery to reduce her nap to 30 mins but wasn't greatly received as advised she really needs an hour at her age, perhaps they're right I don't know, just personally feel like a 8.30 to 9 bedtime is so late! I went to bed at 8 most months until I was about 10 and had abs no issue! If we take her up to the cot also before she drops off she screams the house down 🤦‍♀️

I can’t believe some of the responses you’ve had! And I can’t believe that the nursery are refusing to limit her nap!! My DD’s nursery is amazing and they change the length of her nap depending on how long she slept the night before. They’ve never been anything but supportive and accommodating.

If DD sleeps too long in the day she is up for hours (two hours minimum, up to three) in the night, so gets much less sleep overall. I have spoken to the HV about this and I’ve been assured that all children are different and need different amounts of sleep. The NHS website says 11-14 hours’ sleep including naps is normal for 1-3 year olds. So if your DD sleeps 11 hours overnight (7.30-6.30) and 30 minutes in the day she is within the normal range.

I wouldn’t be asking the nursery anything, I would be telling them. And if they didn’t do what I’d said I’d be finding another provision.

@Purple21 5 days a wk she goes, abs mountains of energy!

I have a terrible sleeper too, and when the room she was in couldn't accommodate a shorter nap, I asked them to move her to the bigger room when her peers were sleeping. She played for a bit and then had a short nap with the older kids. Nursery tried to resist at first, because she needed a nap for 90 mins in their eyes, but it was actually taking away from her overall sleep time. When she had a 45 min nap, she slept 12 hrs through at night time, instead of less than 12 all day in total.

@TheBestSpoon the staff member we see regularly shot me a slightly disapproving look and had to confirm she'd understood with an 'is that ok' it was one of those conversations. I said I don't really think a 2 year old
Should be getting in to the habit of an almost 9pm bedtime, i personally think that's late, but perhaps I'm in the minority.

@Bancha It's a tricky one, the chat about it has never been hugely well received always met with a slight air of hostility which isn't great on their part. I have seen a few times upon collection other parents asking about the nap times and they've also asked for theirs to be shortened and had heard one mum stating as her daughter wasn't going to bed until gone 9 at nihht, i just think it's too long, to me she's gonna be up until 9 sleeping that long I think I would make it past 10 at night myself with a nearly 2 hour nap esp when it's from 12.30-2 ish.

@itscomplicatedlife That's really odd - I'm very surprised. Maybe worth raising it more formally? Do they have a way to contact them other than via chats at the end of the day? DS goes to sleep at 9 if he's had a nap, but he'll then sleep through to 7am or later - it would definitely be too late for an earlier riser. In any event, if you don't want her to have a late bedtime, nursery should be listening to you! It's not like she'll be the only one having a shorter nap or even no nap at that age.

@TripleSeptic I think there is a very fine balance, I've noticed the same with our LG if she doesn't go to bed tired she will wake up hence the nightmare we had on mat leave for mths because she refused to nap in the day, she went to bed overtired and had the same effect. On a wknd we all get up around 6.30, she nods off around 12.30, Ive gently woken her and she always wakes happily, if she was tired all hell would break loose, she goes without any signs of tiredness until 7.30 and is in bed by 8 and hardly wakes at all. You just know what works for you and your child. My mat leave was unreal what I would have done to have 20-30+ mins to myself to even get a pee in leave and Chuck some washing in, she lived in a flamingo sling from 4 mo - 10 mo, I couldn't even get a shower in the day, I had to wait until after 8, but from when she was born to 3 mo totally fine, awake as you'd expect, napped 2-4 hours in the day over a couple of times of the day and woke up 3-4 times at nihht but hit 3 months and it all just changed

@TheBestSpoon yes I think I should raise it with the Manager more formally and see how that goes, I had mentioned this to her once also with regard to my main concern the late bedtime but it's stated to creep to the 1.5 hours again, always tell if it's 1.5 hours as she doesn't even get remotely tired until around 8.15-8.30 🤦‍♀️

It is very hard, having an energetic child. But that should have nothing to do with sleep. Each parent does what they feel is the best. All I know is that a sleeping child is a healthy one and sleep is crucial for the brain development. No matter how much energy a baby has, human physiology cannot be fooled. If the child refuses to sleep, I would not force them. If the child sleeps, I would not wake them. Simples.

My almost 2yo boy is up at 7am, sleeps 1:30 - 4pm (sometimes less) and I never wake him, even if it means he is not back in bed before 8:30pm.

If a child wakes at night it means it went to bed overtired. I don't have a magic solution about how to make a baby sleep, but I sure as hell have never woken a sleeping baby (and never will). I love my sleep and get super cranky if anything wakes me up :-D

What is she like if she doesn't get the nap? What time would she go to sleep then?

If a child wakes at night it means it went to bed overtired.

@ZooKeeper19
That might be true for your children, but it’s not true for all children. It’s certainly not true for my DD.

@Bancha

If a child wakes at night it means it went to bed overtired.

@ZooKeeper19
That might be true for your children, but it’s not true for all children. It’s certainly not true for my DD.

Yeah not true for mine either

My LG is 2.5, she doesn't nap at nursery and falls asleep every evening 7pm on the dot.
She does still have a nap at weekends 1. 5-2 hours and still goes to sleep at 7pm. I would maybe request the nursery to not put her down for a nap during the day.

@MondeoFan No idea she always has had at least 30 mins x

@MondeoFan That's this last fe months, when in may leave if she didn't nap she'd be in a terrible mood all day undertandable I tried everything to try to encourage her to sleep back then. I think she could make it without one without too much issue so it appears she doesn't really need it I think only sleeps longer as the others do but doesn't appear to me to need it

If nursery said they will wake her after an hour then why not compromise and agree to that?

An 8.30pm bedtime might not be ideal for you but waking a sleeping child and having them grumpy and tired while trying not to disturb all the other children isn't ideal for the nursery either.

A lot of nurseries class sleep time as a basic human right (which it is…) so won’t wake a sleeping child, however it then often goes the other way but 8.30-9 doesn’t seem to unmanageable, particularly as she’s in nursery 5 full days anyway, maybe just enjoy the extra awake time you’re getting with her until she drops the day nap.