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Original poster

Puberty book which doesn’t teach that you can change sex?

27 replies

Insertfunnyname · 27/06/2021 08:47

My son is 9 and I’d like to buy him a book on puberty. I’ve looked on Amazon but it’s hard to tell which books don’t have a chapter on gender identity. My personal belief is that sex is binary and immutable, I don’t want to expose my son to the idea that’s not true.

Does anyone have a book they can recommend for this age range?

OP posts:
Borka · 27/06/2021 08:54

The Usborne book 'What's happening to me? ' is good and has no reference to gender identity. I bought it for my son when he was about 9 and it's pitched just right for that age. There's a boy's version and a girls version, but each one also has a brief section on the other sex.

Original poster
Insertfunnyname · 27/06/2021 09:41

Thank you. I’d thought usborne pushed the gender identity belief so that’s good to know.

OP posts:
Xiaoxiong · 27/06/2021 09:53

I bought a used copy of usborne's "facts of life" from the mid-90s for this reason. I read it in advance to make sure it was sensible and factual and didn't have anything too old-fashioned in it - the only thing was references to some old-school contraception that isn't used much anymore (sponges/caps etc) but my son is also only 9 so I just said that we had more modern contraception these days and we could talk about that when he's older.

There were also sensible matter of fact references to lesbian and gay relationships without any misinformation or judgement (we have family friends in same sex relationships and marriages anyway so they have positive role models there).

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

9 year olds Books Children's books Families
Fuscialuscia · 27/06/2021 13:03

I’m afraid that you will have your own views on the world and that they won’t always match what your child grows up to believe. Holding off buying certain books because they contain things that you don’t agree with is quite frankly ridiculous and only time will tell if your child grows up completely resenting you for not giving them the freedom to choose and learn without judgement and ignorance.

Original poster
Insertfunnyname · 27/06/2021 16:33

@Fuscialuscia well that's certainly one viewpoint!

I suppose what I mean is that I want a book that deals in biological and medical reality and not political causes. If the child grows up to support a political cause like transgenderism that is a separate issue to them being taught scientific fact first.

OP posts:
Bemystarlord · 27/06/2021 16:40

I second the usborne whats happening to me books, nothing about it in the one we have.

WotgunShedding · 27/06/2021 16:42

I’d avoid buying science text books written from a Creationist perspective or a Flat Earth perspective if I was using it as resource to teach science.

Of course I’d be happy to discuss creationism and flat earth theory with my child but would find it unhelpful to have the material included in a teaching resource if I actually wanted them to grasp a sense of the earth’s formation etc

Clymene · 27/06/2021 16:54

Yea the usborne book is good

worriedandannoyed · 27/06/2021 16:58

When he does sex education at school, even primary school they discuss sexuality and gender now. There's no escaping him being exposed it I'm afraid unless you home school x

Fuscialuscia · 27/06/2021 17:03

Transgenderism isn’t a political issue and from what you are saying in all honesty you would be doing yourself and your child a massive favour by doing some reading around the subject.

Kona84 · 27/06/2021 17:22

Exposing your child to the fact that people can change gender Will not make them want to change gender. Them feeling they are not in the right body for their identity will make them want to change gender.
If you were righting this 20-30 years ago I imagine you would be talking about not wanting to expose your child to homosexuals just in case they decide to be homosexual.
Sexual orientation and gender is not influential in my opinion.

Lonel · 27/06/2021 17:26

Transgenderism isn’t a political issue and from what you are saying in all honesty you would be doing yourself and your child a massive favour by doing some reading around the subject.
Why do you think she hasn't? It's not unreasonable to want a scientifically accurate approach. And transgender ideology is very much a political issue.

Soontobe60 · 27/06/2021 17:29

@Fuscialuscia

I’m afraid that you will have your own views on the world and that they won’t always match what your child grows up to believe. Holding off buying certain books because they contain things that you don’t agree with is quite frankly ridiculous and only time will tell if your child grows up completely resenting you for not giving them the freedom to choose and learn without judgement and ignorance.
All the OP wants to do is ensure her child is told the facts, not some alternative ideology. Most children, luckily, grow up to believe in the truth.
Soontobe60 · 27/06/2021 17:31

@Kona84

Exposing your child to the fact that people can change gender Will not make them want to change gender. Them feeling they are not in the right body for their identity will make them want to change gender. If you were righting this 20-30 years ago I imagine you would be talking about not wanting to expose your child to homosexuals just in case they decide to be homosexual. Sexual orientation and gender is not influential in my opinion.
Teaching your child that some people believe in gender, but others don’t, is probably more relevant. Sexual identity has nothing at all to do with gender.
Deathgrip · 27/06/2021 17:32

@Kona84

Exposing your child to the fact that people can change gender Will not make them want to change gender. Them feeling they are not in the right body for their identity will make them want to change gender. If you were righting this 20-30 years ago I imagine you would be talking about not wanting to expose your child to homosexuals just in case they decide to be homosexual. Sexual orientation and gender is not influential in my opinion.
The OP didn’t say she doesn’t want a book that mentions changing gender. She said she wants a book that doesn’t imply or state that a person can change sex. Because they can’t.

Sex and gender are not the same thing. This should not be controversial but bizarrely it is.

Soontobe60 · 27/06/2021 17:35

@worriedandannoyed

When he does sex education at school, even primary school they discuss sexuality and gender now. There's no escaping him being exposed it I'm afraid unless you home school x
We don’t teach ideological beliefs in primary school. If someone says that people can change gender, we tell them that sex cannot be changed. We focus on the fact that the way someone wears their hair, or the clothes they wear, or the hobbies they have or the jobs they do shouldn’t be determined by their sex.
soapboxqueen · 27/06/2021 17:39

I've stuck with an old book my mother gave me in the 80s and really open dialogue for the same reasons.

My children are taught biological facts and that both boys and girls should be able to dress, express and play however they wish.

If in the future they decide they have a belief in gender ID it will be no different to if they find religion. I won't pretend I have a religion now just on the off chance they find one in the future.

titchy · 27/06/2021 17:39

@Fuscialuscia

Transgenderism isn’t a political issue and from what you are saying in all honesty you would be doing yourself and your child a massive favour by doing some reading around the subject.
Are you suggesting then that OP tells her son that he might start his periods soon if he decides to identify as a girl?

Or that the girls in his class will get fluffy moustaches if they decide they're boys?

An odd stance to take as a parent but each to their own I guess.

IWantT0BreakFree · 27/06/2021 17:40

Transgenderism isn’t a political issue and from what you are saying in all honesty you would be doing yourself and your child a massive favour by doing some reading around the subject.

OP wants to teach her child facts and biological reality. If you have your own children then you are free to rear them on regressive ideologies that support harmful gender stereotypes 👍🏼

Exposing your child to the fact that people can change gender Will not make them want to change gender. Them feeling they are not in the right body for their identity will make them want to change gender.

Gender and gender stereotypes are nothing to do with teaching a child about biological sex and their body. OP wants a book that doesn't push this regressive agenda.

BakedBeansBang · 27/06/2021 17:43

OP, how tedious that the Kool-Aid brigade are hijacking your thread with a severe lack of critical thinking.

In answer to your question, I started a thread on this recently and was advised the Dr Ranj book. I have since bought it and it is great. Does not teach kids that they can change sex.

FourTeaFallOut · 27/06/2021 17:46

@WotgunShedding

I’d avoid buying science text books written from a Creationist perspective or a Flat Earth perspective if I was using it as resource to teach science.

Of course I’d be happy to discuss creationism and flat earth theory with my child but would find it unhelpful to have the material included in a teaching resource if I actually wanted them to grasp a sense of the earth’s formation etc

Yup. All of this.
Blooter · 27/06/2021 17:50

@Fuscialuscia if you think transgenderism isn't a political issue I think perhaps you are the one who needs to do some more reading...

BathwaterBaby · 27/06/2021 18:01

Please ignore trolls! Thanks for the book recommendations, we have this coming up 😬

sosoreagain · 27/06/2021 18:05

Dr Raj - How to grow up and be amazing. No worries guide to boys. It's been recommended to me but I've not yet read it

jezzyj · 27/06/2021 18:34

@Kona84

Exposing your child to the fact that people can change gender Will not make them want to change gender. Them feeling they are not in the right body for their identity will make them want to change gender. If you were righting this 20-30 years ago I imagine you would be talking about not wanting to expose your child to homosexuals just in case they decide to be homosexual. Sexual orientation and gender is not influential in my opinion.

Personally I don't see trangenderism the same as homosexuality.

Homosexuality is natural for humans. All it means is a primary attraction to the same sex. Many people have attraction to their sex, no big deal.

Meanwhile (if the suicide stats by trans activists are anything to go by) changing gender is distressing, and not something to be desired.

A journey of body dis morphia/poor mental health, hormones and possibly surgery wouldn't be something I'd promote lightly. Explain if asked, absolutely, but id want to teach strictly facts only.

My partner once made a passing comment that my preschooler would probably be trans (as she was incorrectly sexed by a child the same age). I was shocked, personally. I know it's a bit different but still. Children are easily influenced, you need to tread carefully with some things