When to tell dc how babies are made?!

[Orangeinmybluelightcup]

As in, what age?! I've got Dd age 6 and ds age 4. I'm wondering whether to tell Dd. To be honest I wish I had before when opportunities came up but I missed them, and now it feels more staged. Should I get a book? Wait for it to kind of come up? Or what?!

She should know by now. Get a book and make an opportunity to talk

Can you suggest a book?

What are we talking about here? Stork like story vs baby in belly or under the sheets specifics?!

When they ask

Not storks, I am thinking more biology / anatomy.

Let's Talk

We did this one with ds around 6/7. Was surprisingly easy when they are that young to start talking about it as something normal,

Just watch where it is when his friends are around, some parents are not so keen for them to educate their friends 🤣

When they ask, if you want to bring about the conversation, point out a baby and see if she takes the bait.
Or ask her where she thinks babies come from and see if she already knows or even wants to know.

At age 6, I think the biological information of egg + sperm is probably enough (although an inquisitive child may ask more questions!).
Usborne do a good book about the body.
DS is 9yo and they have just had the lesson about the actual mechanics - although they also explored lots of questions about IVF, contraception, etc. Not in detail! Just the ideas. They are an extremely curious class and like to ask a lot of questions…

So no, I don’t think it is too soon to teach your DD the biology - and the correct names for things.

Mummy laid an egg is good. Might be a bit much for some (you can google image search to see some pages) but I think it’s great - to be clear, despite the title it doesn’t teach that babies come from mummy laying an egg. It’s what I had when I was little.

We have the usborne book about the body and it doesn't cover reproductive organs, which I think is a shame.

Dd5.5 has already had a few chats involving ‘mum gave and egg and dad gave a seed’ and they grew into a baby. She knows about periods being what makes a woman’s body ready to carry a baby. She’s never yet asked how the seed got in but I have wondered how truthfully to answer when she does. I can’t imagine it’s that far off.

@Undersnatch Dd was the same at 5, I went into the same level of detail. I expected to get more questions but didn't, she's now getting on for 7 and I'm wondering if I missed the boat!

She doesn't know anything about periods

There’s a book called ‘making a baby’ by Rachel Greener that came out recently. It’s great - covers the biological stuff as well as the different ways families begin (adoption, fostering, ivf). We’ve used it to help answer DS many questions about anatomy and where babies come from and he’s 4. There’s one page that goes into sex but we’ve skipped that and focused more on sperm meeting egg science angle as he’s so young.

Doesn’t she see you dealing with your period?

I have always gone with a wait until asked scenario and then given an age appropriate answer. I have not gone into masses of detail, just specific to the question asked. Actual sex was not discussed until DS was 12. He's 13 now and yesterday asked why a woman would not be feeling well after giving birth as I have a friend who is pregnant and I said something about her not being ready for visitors straight away. He got an honest answer about what happens after having a child.

I think my education was good. At about 6yo there was a picture of a cartoon naked boy and a naked girl standing next to each other and I told my mum that the sperm would get out of the boy's penis down his leg, across the floor and up the girl's leg if you think about it there's a lot of information there I only found out the exact extent to how close they get when I was about 11-12 (an anatomical drawing like cut in the middle, if that makes sense)

@Undersnatch no I've got a coil fitted, no periods.

I always just answered questions as they arose in simple language and didn't over explain, I let them ask more questions and went from there.

When my son asked how the egg and sperm met I told him and he said 'that's disgusting' and went back to playing.

We also had the mummy laid an egg book, it's hilarious and helped with questions.

I'm always careful to present it as facts and nothing shameful etc.

Same with homosexual relationships. It's just a fact some people are attracted to the same sex. If he's gay then I don't want him to feel like he has to come out in some big parade, as long as his chosen future partner(s) treats him with respect I'm happy and he knows this.

I think I was given one called the great sperm race!

I don't understand how this hasn't come up before. My two you old asks and I just say it takes a mummy and daddy who love each other to make a baby. It's just about age appropriate truth:

Mummy laid an egg is great

Ah I see. I’d love to empty menstrual cup without an audience but they always seem to appear, fascinated. Not sure it’s that relevant to birds and bees for a while though.

I doubt you’ve missed the boat - sounds like she’s just been satisfied with what she’s needed to know at particular times. I remember when pregnant a friends 3yr old asking how the baby would get out of me which I started to answer honestly and the friend was horrified! But I think in most cases asking the question means they are ready to know. Ask me again in 5yrs though!

DS5 has started asking questions. He knows that mummies grow the babies and a daddy has to put them there. He knows mummies have eggs that grow like seeds in their tummies if they’re going to have a baby and that humans are mammals so they don’t lay eggs like birds.

He hasn’t yet asked how babies get out of tummies or the exact mechanics of it, but I’ll try and answer as factually as I can when he does. We haven’t got any pregnant women around us or newborns but I expect if we did he would have asked more.

@gingerbiscuit19 it has, we did that bit, then at 5 we did the mum has the egg the dad has she seed, then nothing since, I thought she'd ask but she hasn't. She's getting on for 7.