Anyone have a four year age gap?

[blaisealex]

Thinking about trying for a second DC. Current DC is three in June. So, age gap is looking like it's going to be just shy of four years. I was hoping it would be a smaller gap so they'd be closer in age.

I have this image in my head of them growing up together, having a close bond, sharing experiences together, etc. And I worry this is less likely with a larger age gap.

Has anyone got a similar gap and can share their experiences?

Thanks!

Bump :)

I can’t comment yet because DD’s siblings are still on the way (with this gap), but two friends with a similar gap DC have great relationships - older one is big enough to help, wait a bit etc with the younger one.

Practically I think it has its perks - older one is either about to start school or will be by the time second sibling is one, so you should get some together time and some alone time with each.

Yes, 2 girls, great. Can fight like cat and dog, can play together for hours.

I do. My son is 4 years 4 months and 4 days younger than his sister. This was pretty much our plan though (ok not the 444 bit that was just funny coincidence) as I didn't want two in nursery at the same time and it meant I was on maternity leave during my daughter starting school. She was very welcoming to the new baby especially as he got her a new toy! Who knew Amazon operates in utero as well? And she loved being able to cuddle him and then loved being able to win smiles from him. He seemed to like having a small human to amuse him rather than just adults. Apart from a hair pulling phase when he was 2 they generally have got on well and I have some wonderful photos and memories of him looking at her with absolute adoration for his big sister. My daughter was involved from early on and suggested baby names for him (her own name for a girl cos she thinks it is the best name)
the boy's name which was a name she made up and we just called the bump that until he was born.

They are now 7 and 3 and bicker over the same thing that siblings do at any age namely toys, what to watch on Netflix and my son went through a phase of not wanting me to be Mummy to both of them. They seem to quite like each other and will voluntarily cuddle each other on the sofa and my son missed my daughter when she is away. She occasionally finds him annoying when he wants to join in with her and her friends but I felt like that about my sister and that's a 2 year gap. In fact my sister and I were not especially close as kids unless we were uniting against our mum or dad or a teacher or mean Guide leader.

I was worried about at first and sometimes wonder how it will be at 12 and 16 but I think that's because they are different sexes rather than the age group. My husband's sister is 2 years younger than him and he did not like her as a teenager nor she him, until they got to about 16 and 18.

I have a big age gap with my two boys and it’s been brilliant. Four and a half years gap.
They’re now 11 and 6 and they get on so well. They’re upstairs playing together now.
The older one has never been jealous of the younger one and there is very little conflict. He is very caring and kind towards the little one.
I expect that to change a bit when he hits the teen years, but so far it’s been great.

4 years and 2 months with my 2 boys. Still early days as my youngest is only a few months old but so far my oldest has been so caring and understanding of the constant crying. We've made sure he is included in as much as possible and I wear a sling to make sure I can take my oldest out and about, give him my full attention etc.

I think my oldests age has helped me explain more about why his little brother needs mummy's attention all the time and I have shown him lots of photos of when he was a baby so he knows he has had a turn at the baby stage with his mummy so to speak!

I also am grateful that I spent so much quality time with him when he was a baby and toddler, I feel like it has worked out well but only time will tell as they grow! I imagine there are pros and cons to any age gap!

My two DS are 4.5 years apart and it’s honestly great.

Yes - great age gap IMO!

My DDs are now 18 and 14, and yes of course there have been times when the age gap has seemed wide, and times when it's seemed really small, but they have a lovely relationship, without a lot of the angst I've seen in friends with smaller age gaps.

Also DD1 starting school just as DD2 was beginning to need paid for childcare was a big win - another one is just looming with uni - DD1 will have finished before DD2 starts!

Yes my dc are about that (girl then boy) and it's great! It wasn't what we planned. They are adults now but when they were little the eldest was just fine and a bit independent; just started full time school. Could talk and wasn't at the dangerous climbing on everything toddler stage. Able to watch a film while a dealt with feeding baby etc.

Nearly 26 and just turned 22 now but close.

Yes in fact our gap is closer to 5 than four

It’s been great had four years with DC one I was off on maternity leave for the year he started school so could be there for him with that, never felt that I was really starting because DC one was still quite young
theyve always played together really well
They love each other to bits too

Four and a half years between dd and ds. Normal sibling stuff. They're 19 and 14 currently. Get on really well mostly. Ds will be off to visit her at Uni in November and then she'll be coming home to spend the weekend with him.

My closest sister is 5 years older than me.

4 years is still close enough they’re likely to have a good bond. I have a 4yr 9mo age gap between my older 2, and in the main they get on really well. They share enough interests that they do play together, but not all the time. They get a good mix of alone time and together time.

It’s also really helpful when the younger one is tiny to have a more independent older one. They can entertain themselves much more, and even fetch you your drink while you’re breast feeding, that kind of thing! And the older one will be starting school so you’ll get some quality time with the younger one. There are lots of benefits!

The biggest disadvantage we’ve found is walls, bike rides, swimming, theme parks... those kinds of trips out can be more challenging, trying to cater to both ages at once. Having 2 adults helps in these situations!

Yes 3 years 8 months between mine. Eldest is girl 9 and youngest is boy 5, they get along fantastically well and play nicely. She looks after him well and her adores him. Not what I'd planned I wanted two close together but they're perfect together!

i have two lots of 4/5 year age gaps, it made the early years a bit easier as it meant that the older one(s) could actually understand that mummy was a bit busy with the baby and they had to hang on a minute.

Built in babysitters as they got older, and DC2 and DC3 had a "cool" sixth former older sibling when they started secondary school, and could impress their new friends a bit with knowing the older kids.

Issues - was tricky finding days out that they all enjoyed at the same time, as generally they were all at different stages - I just tried to even it out a bit with which DC took priority for different things.

The nearly 10 year gap between DC1 and DC3 meant that they didn't really relate as siblings particularly (although now they're all adult, it's most likely that personalities were a big part of that).

But, having seen friends and family with smaller age gaps, I was really happy with our bigger ones. Seemed a lot easier and less stressful generally.

My sons are 6 and 10 and they are best friends always have been. I imagine that might change when the 10 year old hits puberty, but so far so good

I have a 2 year gap between DC1 and DC2 and a 4 1/2 year gap between DC2 and DC3

DC1 and DC2 boy and girl get on brilliantly as close in age (it's less than 2 years)

Number 2 and 3 also get on great - both girls- although number 2 finds number 3 annoying sometimes they also have a big sis little sis relationship

The 6 1/2 year gap between eldest son and youngest daughter was too much - fine before eldest hit teen years - he found her annoying for about 5 years from 12-17 then suddenly she is his little sis and he adores her again

Because he's "now an adult and she's his baby (teen) sister" He's now very protective and patient when even 2-4 years ago he was the one ignoring or bullying her!!

So In summary I don't think 4 year gap is necessarily too big at all

Ime

2 year gap easier IF they get on (as not all siblings do)

4 year gap is very workable although they'll be a slightly different stages and youngest will end up watching their older siblings programmes

6 1/2 year gap (like between my eldest no 1 and youngest no 3 ) became a problem when eldest was a teen but resolved itself after 5 years when eldest became "an adult" as now dotes on her and enjoys "taking her out/ being cool 😎 big bro"

My two girls are exactly 4 years apart to the day. They bloody hate each other. Will tolerate each other for a maximum of 30 mins once a week before it all kicks off again and they're fighting. They're 13 and 9, I'd hoped the fighting would have tailed off by now...

I had nearly 4 years between my two and thought it was a really good age gap. I knew I didn't want 2 little ones at the same time as I couldn't have coped with the chaos and there is nearly 9 years between me and my sister which was far too big.

My older one was able to help me with the baby so I'd definitely recommend this age gap.

4 years between my DS and youngest DD. Lovely age gap, would play together nicely when younger, no problems. That was up until about a year ago. Aged 9 and 13, they started to get on each other's nerves and wind each other up. There are still moments of bonding (usually over something computer-related or a Youtube video) - it's lovely when it happens. I know they love and care deeply for each other really and squabbles are nothing more than typical age-related sibling annoyance at this stage.

But it is a good age gap. Go for it!

imsanehonest that's so weird as that's exactly what happened with my two! When they were 13 and 9 I couldn't leave them in the same room together. It was an absolute nightmare.

They later shared a flat together at uni and now they go on city breaks together even though she's married her husband hates flying

Dd2 was born 5 days before her big sisters 4th birthday. We had to have it that way as couldn’t afford 2 lots of childcare at once so dd1 stayed at nursery 3 days a week with her free hours so I got alone time with the baby and I was lucky to still be on maternity when she started school.

They fight like cat and dog but that’s more personality clash than age gap. I’d say it’s 70/30 fighting to getting on!

You do have times where the youngest is watching older programs and the elder is watching Peppa Pig but they don’t complain much!

Almost 5 years apart, my eldest is in love with his 4 month old brother

I have just over four year gap with one and two and just under with two and three. They all hate each other. As do my sisters kids who have just under two years between them and any other age gaps of children I know 🤣 however I found the transition from 1 to 2 then 2 to 3 easy as there was a good gap between them and there was never more than one child at home as the others were at school/nursery when the younger sibling came.

My daughter is 2.5 and my step children are 7 and 9 and they play together adorably! Xxx