Anybody else have an insanely angry baby?

[thisisfineihavewine]

My DS is 2 months old, and is the angriest baby. I had no idea babies could be this fucking livid all. the. time.

He has silent reflux which we have omeperazole for which is working well. We’ve ruled out CMPA. He sleeps enough.

He barely ever smiles, and it’s such hard work to get a smile out of him. He always needs to be held, even at 2 months he will hold on with his arms around our necks and grip my hair. I wear my wedding ring on a necklace and he actively seeks it out and clings onto it.

When he has his awake times, he will do 10 minutes or so happy, then turns into an insanely angry screaming baby who just seems absolutely furious with the world.

Anybody else had a baby like this, and does it ever get better???

I have PND and getting great support from family and HV, but I can’t deal with the incessant, constant screaming. Nothing settles him.

We’ve tried huckleberry app, watch his sleepy cues etc. He is fed expressed breastmilk by day (rarely latches as he just gets so so angry and screams until he’s retching) and formula at night as he was waking every 1-1,5 hours on expressed breastmilk and I couldn’t handle it.

It’s getting me so down as there must be something I’m missing or doing wrong. Or perhaps it’s my milk? It’s also negatively affecting my eldest who is in tears by the afternoon due to all the screaming.

What do you mean when you say the omeprazole is working? If he's screaming all the time now, how could that be worse than what he was like before? If not for a positive change in his behaviour I don't understand how you'd monitor success of the omeprazole if he wasnt vomiting anyway?

Mine was furious. I took him to a cranial osteopath and it helped

This was me 2.5 years ago. I totally relate to the word angry - that’s how it feels. Angry as hell. In my baby’s case it was cows milk allergy.

It did end. Not as quickly as some people said it would, but gradually he became happier. At 6 months he was already better and then he had a magical transformation at 11 months when I changed him to oat milk.

He is now 3, super chilled, happy, giggly, well behaved (mostly), clever and all round amazing. When he was 2 months old and I was suffering from PND I thought he’d been born with some terrible mental health problem but actually I think he was just uncomfortable and irritable with his eczema prone skin.

Your baby will outgrow the problem but in the meantime keep going and asking for help. It is NOT YOU! Some babies are just like this. And it has no relation to the people they will become.

Good luck - my heart utterly goes out to you xxx

How do you know the omeprazole is working?

Reflux is horrible for them and it makes them very upset.

That sounds tough.
The only time our DC cried like that was when he was uncomfortable for some reason or another; took us a fucking age to work out why he was uncomfortable but we got there 😂.

What did you do to rule out CMPA?

Does he cry incessantly at night or just wake for a feed then go back?

That'll be the reflux then
My 2nd was also an angry soul. Turned out to be CMPA. Must be awful for them to be in pain associated with feeding and not understand why. Honestly it has passed and he's now 14m and a happy boy but it was tough. I remember trying to shower and he wouldn't stop screaming. Feeding him (bf) and he would just come off and scream and scream and arch his back. So tough.
Really hope he settles down. Make sure omeprazole dose is changed as he grows as it is weight dependent so as he grows they should be able to adjust the dose if he's still unhappy.

Another for CMPA , also told it wasn't/ruled out and turned out to be but we'd had a while year of screaming and he'd had a while year of pain.
Also tongue tie, my lo got angry trying to feed as basically couldn't.

It's reflux. It does manifest exactly like anger and you have my absolute sympathy. It will get better. I'm not this sort of person at all, but you might find that some baby yoga helps make him a little more comfortable and helps you to bond. Not suggesting that you haven't bonded but I know I found it really difficult when my baby was screaming and arching constantly, and having some actions to do (moving his legs, rubbing his belly in a certain way etc) really helped to give me something positive, loving and constructive to do about the situation.

Yep this was my DS. His first six months were miserable. Also silent reflux, in his case definitely caused by undiagnosed CMPA.

You've described my baby. The angry screams, the absent smiles. He had silent reflux and CMPA. By 4 months he started to improve during the day (but was hellish at naps and night time due to regression) and then at 6 months he was just so much more fun - Laughing, quietly observing, playing and sleeping better. I think sitting up helped the reflux and because he lacked the classic signs (green foamy poo, vomiting) we didn't pick up on the CMPA until 6 months. When we did he was better for it.

I had one. No reflux.
He cheered up within 24hrs of crawling at approx 8 months.

I feel for you so much, well remember the days with our first, misery. Would wake up from every nap screaming and grumpy.
Ours just wasnt good at being a baby! He got easier with wvery new thing he could do ie nap longer, sit up independently, crawl etc.
He always has been and always will be a high needs child, up and down like a yoyo, but so full of cuddles and love and empathy.
He wont remember any of this so please try not to worry too much, and there are better times to come, this phase shall pass. One day at a time you're doing great 👍

Oh and second the tongue tie comment. My DS had posterior tongue tie. Insufficiently cut at 8 weeks by NHS (who refused to rectify) and then cut at 15 weeks by a private dentist. That's what caused his change in behaviour at 4 months I think. He was much happier.

So much sympathy. Mine was a big time screamer. We’ve got videos of him almost blue in the face screaming so hard. With him it was a combination of personality, but certainly made +++ worse by what we now know is a soya allergy (similar to CMPA) and a tongue tie. He’s still feisty now (nearly 12 mo) and screams more than the average baby if he’s cross, but with the tongue tie snip and soya removal he got SO much easier.

How have you ruled out CMPA? As you are combi feeding did you fully exclude dairy (+/- soya) from your diet and use a hydrolysed formula for the full 4-6 weeks with a proper re-introduction?

Has your LO been assessed for tongue tie?

I know you say he’s getting enough sleep but I found this was near on possible with an unsettled baby. I know with my DS, the gut issues stopped him from napping which made him overtired which made the screaming worse. How long does he nap for and how often?

Is he having enough wet and dirty nappies? I know when we were awaiting the tongue tie snip, pumping to keep on top of milk requirements was very difficult. I basically couldn’t despite being almost permanently attached to my pump. Basic I know but Is his intake enough - he’s not still hungry?

Good luck. I feel a bit sick thinking about those early days - I really hope things improve for you x

@MeadowHay the silent reflux cry/screaming is different (in pitch/sound) to what he does the rest of the time - the reflux screaming has noticeably lessened. He still does his generally “shouting at the world” screaming and crying though (sometimes it’s literally like he’s shouting - no tears or anything, just yelling his head off)

The thing is, not all babies that scream all the time have medical issues that can be solved. My DD was one, and there were no medical problems - she was thoroughly investigated, tried lots of treatment options, nothing made any difference. She gradually grew out of it really as time went on but at 3 she is still a screamer really so I'm sure some of it is just her er big personality. That's why I'm asking about the omeprazole because if he's had all the treatment for that and still screaming, that would actually suggest there is no silent reflux after all and there would be no benefit to continuing medication that isn't helping.

Ah sorry OP we cross posted re the omeprazole. In that case of course keep him on it but as I say, not all screaming is a medical problem that can be solved and that might be the case here. For us it was just a case of gritting our teeth through the first year to be honest and it all gradually improved.

@FTEngineerM We did a formula challenge on the advice of our HV - he was fed only breastmilk until 6 weeks and I’m dairy free (he was already screaming before this). I wanted to try formula at night as couldn’t handle the 1-1.5 hour waking (after feeding, winding, nappy etc I’d have about 20 minutes sleep before it started again)

So we introduced formula only for 2 days to see if he had a reaction. He’s had formula at night now for 2 weeks, and we haven’t yet seen anything to indicate a reaction - the screaming is the same regardless of what milk he has (I continued my usual expressing, I’m basically exclusively pumping for him as he seems to hate latching, we’ve seen a LC for it)

The crying is always worse late afternoon/early evening

Oh yes. DS1 was like this. It’s hard isn’t it? I also had PND.
He isn’t angry. He’s in pain for a lot of the time and it’s all consuming for his little baby body.
It will get better, it does.
You need lots of support - time for you if you can. See friends and what ever you can do.
I tried the osteopath for him and that helped too.
Also good was baby massage -but not his tummy and getting outside.
All the other advice is good. If you are taking anti depressants don’t be afraid to get the dose increased a bit if you don’t feel like you are coping.

@proworrier He does that with me, I’ve stopped latching him now and just pump for him. I’m dairy free so fairly confident it’s not CMPA. We’ve also done a formula challenge and introduced it at night, which he’s had for 2 weeks now abs nothing which makes me feel he has CMPA (my first had CMPA so this was my first thought)

My silent reflux baby was similar only didn't nap just collapsed for 7 hours overnight.

Hellish memories.

Hi OP, my son was like this until about three and a half months. He's 5 and half months now and a mostly happy, smiley baby.

He had silent reflux and colic, and was just so angry and upset all the time. It almost destroyed me.

I think these conditions passing and the fact he can 'chat' with us and be more interactive definitely helped.

Yup. My eldest was like this. And had silent reflux. He turned into a completely different child when we weaned him. But God I was miserable for the first few months of his life.

The good thing was when I had my youngest, I knew that anything would be easier in comparison to my eldest. So he was such an easy baby.

I should add I also don’t have soya in my diet, as my eldest has CMPA and soya allergy, so I just don’t buy stuff with it in.

With my eldest, he screamed a lot but it was due to the CMPA, he also had bad reflux but again, that was CMPA (he still has it age 3) - once he was on neocate, he was great. I think that’s why I feel like I must be missing something and it’s something I should be able to fix.

I have a catch up with the GP each week for my MH, I will ask her about getting neocate for him so we can do 6 weeks fully without any milk protein to see if that helps him. I’ll also ask her about the reflux again. I hate feeling like he’s in pain and I can’t help him- it feels like I’m failing him massively

He does get bad trapped wind, I do baby massage, bicycle legs etc (which makes him even angrier!). @Serenschintte where do you do the baby massage if not on the tummy? That’s where I’ve been doing it (only because that’s what I did with my first) - so would love to know any alternatives as I’m sure he hates it.